What The Soul Wants
by BlueHot Chronicles
Summary: Lily was never the girl Severus thought she was; he'd been blinded by her beauty and his love for her. Now, years after her death, he meets a transfer student from Uagadou School Of Magick, who began to overshadow the light that was Lily, in a way no student should. Slight Harry-bashing, Ginny, Hermione Bashing. AU, OOC and Semi-Consensual. See Inside for Author Note.
1. Chapter 1

**What The Soul Wants**

 **By BlueHot Chronicles**

 _Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of BlueHot Chronicles. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended._

 **Author's Note:**

I began writing this story late 2015 but I was hesitant to post it. I had already written the last chapter and the Epilogue, but I was stuck on how to write the two or three chapters before those. Update: September 2017 - I have edited this story to the best of my abilities, and have reworded, formatted and even expanded some parts.

For all of you who appreciate my writing, hopefully you've noticed that I don't like to describe everything that happens _at the time,_ or, I'll leave _room_ for a One-Shot or a Sequel later on and that happens in this story as well. This one was difficult for me to write as I had to dwell on _teenage_ stuff and I didn't feel as though I got it right;I probably didn't and still feel this way.

This story's Main Character is an Original Character I created named Xhara Diya; if you check out my Instagram page bluehot_chronicles you can get an idea of what she **looks** like. There's some slight Harry-bashing, it wasn't my intention but as I read over my work, I noticed it. In J.K's work, I found him to be foolish and I guess that feeling bled into my fanfic. Don't get me wrong, I like Harry and what I wrote will probably only bother HarryFreaks.

 **Summary:**

Lily was never the girl Severus thought she was; he'd been blinded by her beauty and his love for her. Now, years later, he meets a transfer student to Hogwarts who began to overshadow the light that was Lily, in a way no student should. Slight Harry-bashing.

~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~

 **Chapter One**

 _Spinner's End - The Park_

"Tuney was right you are a freak, stay away from me Snape!"

Severus stared at the girl's retreating form, unable to hide his disappointment.

What had he done to cause such an unexpected surge of dislike?

Then he snorted to himself; he was a no good waste of space, he never got to have regular baths, his clothes were too big and mismatched - as Tuney had said - with his mother's blouse.

His long black hair was always limp and greasy because he liked watching his mother brew; it was the only time she allowed him to be around her, and he was always hungry even when he should be grateful for the little food his father let him eat. The list was quite long.

Who would like a disgusting and ungrateful freak like him?

He'd never had a friend before and Lily was really nice to him, at least sometimes but more than his father, that was for sure.

Lily was the one who'd continued to approach him after the first time when he'd told her that she was a witch. One moment she would be happy to see him, the next she would be playing with Petunia, her sister, throwing him glares of suspicion and revulsion.

He would sadly trudge back to his home perceiving that their friendship was over.

Whenever his father chased him out of the house the next day or so, in one of his drunken rages, Severus would retreat to the park where Lily would race to him; her silky red hair flowing to her waist and her green eyes shining in delight, as she hugged him. Her disgust the day before forgotten.

Starved for affection and friendship, Severus forgave all her rude and hateful comments especially if he was always going to be rewarded with a smile and hug. This continued for the next few years, even during their time at Hogwarts, until one day in their fifth year when Lily's repugnance for him never went away.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

 _Ages Away_

"Here's your medicine Sev, now you'll feel all better."

A little girl with big, hazel coloured eyes and skin the colour of the darkest honey played with one of her dolls, unaware of her parents' discomfort as they stood observing her in the doorway.

"Xhara honey, why don't you put your dolls away for a bit, lunch is ready," her mother said quietly.

Xhara turned to her mother with a huge smile, her thick curly hair was parted down the middle and tied into two giant, curly puff balls near the top of her head. Her heart melted at her daughter's innocent smile.

"Okay, mummy."

At the dining table, Xhara talked nonstop about her friend who she met and did wonderful magickal stuff with.

"...and one time he made the flowers falling from the tree swirl around us like a whirlwind," here she sighed wistfully, "I wish I was as good as he is at magick."

The rest of their lunch had similar stories; Darius and Ishwari Diya exchanged silent glances.

Once lunch was over Mr Diya lifted his seven-year-old daughter into his arms for a bear hug and kisses, his teeth white against his dusky features as she squealed with laughter. He played with his only child for a few moments before leaving for work.

"See you later, my little Xharadia," He said as he went through the door, it was his nickname for her, his little miracle baby girl.

"Bye, daddy!"

"Sweetie, come here for a moment," Ishwari sat on the sofa and patted her leg before lifting Xhara onto her lap once she came closer.

Xhara loved it when her mother held her this way; her mummy had a wonderful fragrance of coconut oil in her long and dark, flowing tresses and a flowery fragrance from the herbal lotion she massages into her light-honey coloured skin.

Ishwari was worried about her daughter's belief in her stories, and while Darius believed that it was all harmless make-believe and that Xhara would grow out of it, she could not help but fear for her daughter's social life later on.

"Honey tell me more about this 'Sev'. As she listened to her daughter's stories Ishwari became more and more worried.

"When do you see this 'friend' honey?"

"Almost every night I go to sleep mummy."

A wave of relief washed through Ishwari, she and her husband were already worried about the strange things Xhara did with strong emotions; she didn't want hallucinations added to the list.

"Oh honey," she said, her voice betraying her relief, "those are very vivid dreams you have at night. Hmmm, I guess I can make a new tea blend for you, just so you can have more rest. You do look more and more exhausted every morning. I was getting so worried, beti."

"But it feels so real," Xhara replied, her tiny brows furrowed, "Sev is so lonely mummy and I don't think he gets enough to eat; he's my friend. He's always hurt when I see him," she said softly, not looking at her mother instead choosing to fiddle with a button on her mother's blouse.

"One time I saw his daddy hitting him over and over and I tried to make him stop…"

Ishwari felt her heart jump painfully at Xhara's words. Xhara was somewhat spoiled, the result of being an only child and three months premature.

She and Darius loved their little girl to pieces, and have never taught her about the harsher lives some other children lived. She could only hope Xhara had only read it somewhere as she wanted to wait for Darius so they could talk to their daughter together.

"Well... that's called Lucid Dreaming honey," she said, ignoring the mentioned abuse of an imaginary boy, "it means that you can control what you dream about, not everyone can do that. My beti is so smart." She gushed hugging Xhara close.

Xhara looked up at her but instead of looking proud, her daughter appeared to still be in distress for the dream boy. Then an idea formed in her mind.

"How about..." she placed Xhara to stand in front of her, "the next time you dream of him, you take meals to him and be the best friend to him I know my wonderful daughter can be."

Xhara's adorable brown features lit up with a beautiful smile. Though she knew her parents loved her, she also knew her strange behaviour worried them. This was the first time her mother gave her permission to be weird.

Her gaze strayed to her mother's long silky hair as it shone almost blue like the wing of a majestic bird.

"I wish my hair was like yours mummy," she said wistfully

Ishwari was shocked for a moment, "You have beautiful hair honey all those wonderful curls; you are a gorgeous blend of your daddy and me and we wouldn't have it any other way. Why did you say that, are your classmates picking on you again?" she asked gently

"No, but in my dreams, I don't look like me. I have hair like yours but it's really red and my skin is really pale. I think Sev likes the way my hair looks because I caught him stroking it once when I wasn't looking and he thought I'd get angry for it."

Ishwari felt her fear and confusion return, she thought about contacting her spiritual teacher but decided to wait for Darius. Maybe instead of spiritual, this was something psychological.

She didn't know enough of what was going on to make any decisions without her husband; the fight they'd had the last time she'd brought Guru Pankaj... Darius' rage when he came home and enquired about Xhara's tears... she shuddered as she thought of Xhara's fear when the guru began to speak of her soul leaving her body and magic and men dying.

No... she would not put her daughter through that again.

After reassuring her daughter that she was beautiful just the way she was born, she sent Xhara to play out in the backyard and went about her chores for the day until her husband returned from work.

 **A/N - Beti is the Hindi word for daughter, pronounced Bay-Tee. I used it in the context those of East Indian descent here in my Caribbean country would use it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

 _Years Later_

Xhara sat silently in the passenger seat of the car her mother had rented to take them to their new home. It would be her third new home since she was a baby; her parents had left the Caribbean when she was just over a year old and moved to Egypt.

It was there that she received notice from a Dream Messenger informing her that she'd gained entrance to a school called Uagadou School of Magic. She'd woken with an inscribed stone in her hand; a stone now embedded on a thick length of copper which she'd transfigured into a torc she wore around her neck.

She'd attended Uagadou for three years when her father died in an accident during Christmas of that third year. Too distraught and unable to support her daughter alone in Egypt, Ishwari accepted a well-paying job in London at the end of the following year.

Xhara, therefore, was allowed a transfer to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with the understanding that she would arrive as a fourth-year student instead of being a fifth as she should have been. Hogwarts curriculum differed from Uagadou's and she would need that time to get accustomed to the changes.

After all, students at Uagadou learned together in classes for their first year, by second-year they were chosen by mentors and given apprenticeships; these mentors existed outside of time and space teaching their chosen students all the magickal knowledge that they - the Mentor - possessed. This 'non-existence' allowed them to have many students at any time.

She would miss Mentor Roh.

Arriving as a fourth year was fine with her, she'd never had any friends at Uagadou. The first person she'd trusted with her 'dream boy' secret had spread it throughout the school within a week, claiming that 'Xhara still played with imaginary friends'.

Xhara had cursed the girl to have a forked tongue using 'accidental' magic. No one had made fun of her for having an 'imaginary friend' again.

"We're almost there honey." Her mum said, taking a second to squeeze her hand and smile at her absently.

Xhara looked toward the back seat at Daemon Ari, her familiar, who opened one eye to check on her. Assured that she didn't need him, he returned to his napping. She made sure that he was still firmly on the blanket as her mum didn't want 'cat' hair all over the rental.

Her parents had been relieved when they'd found out she was a magickal child - even though she'd been telling them this for years - and since her first week as a first year student, their worries about the 'dream boy' went away once she stopped talking about him - a result of the bullying.

They finally got to her grandmother's house, where they would be staying until her mum could afford to go out on her own again. There was much hugging and kissing and reminiscing until finally, Xhara was in her own room; Daemon had already planted himself on the foot of the mattress.

She sat on the edge of the bed and watched as his furry body grew just enough to fit across the width of the full sized mattress.

"Don't worry, Ari," the name she called him when he grew, "we'll be at Hogwarts after the summer, there's a huge forest and you'll be able to grow to your full size in there, as long as you continue to look like a cat around everyone they won't suspect a thing."

*I hope you're right.*

She massaged his recently stretched muscles until he fell asleep.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

That night in the comfort of her grandmother's home, she sent her soul to Sev.

For the past three years her feelings for him began to change; whenever they were together or he held a door open for her, or his robes brushed against hers when he smiled at her… her heart would race and blood would flood her 'borrowed' cheeks.

The wonderful glow at the knowledge that he appeared to return her feelings was dampened by the fact that it was Lily Evans he had these feelings for.

 **Tonight - once she felt her soul 'dropping into place' - she became aware that they were in a discreet corner of a library; studying, from the looks of it.**

 **He was sitting next to her silently mouthing the words from the text in front of him and she smiled. She was always happy to see him, even if these were only 'hints' of a past that never happened for her.**

 **She looked down at Lily's assignment in front of her… ugh, no wonder the girl was here with Sev, without him Lily was crap at school work and Xhara couldn't bring herself to do mediocre work around him. They usually spent a couple of hours together, sometimes more, before she reluctantly left him to return to her own body to fully rest.**

 **She caught a whiff of lavender and rosemary and looked up at him again. Without thinking she brushed her fingers through his long, ebony hair; it was soft and silky.**

 **"It worked!"**

 **He'd turned to her in shock from her first touch and when she saw the hint of colour on his cheek bones she hurriedly pulled her hand away.**

 **"I'm sorry, Sev…"**

 **"No, don't apologise, it's fine." His smooth voice was almost deep, in a few years, it would be an even deeper, sweeter baritone.**

 **"That shampoo you made for me worked brilliantly, I use it often cuz… well, you know how much I like brewing potions. It's wonderful to have something to combat those fumes. Thank you Sarah-Lily," he said finally, ending his rambling with his distorted, and downright ruined, version of her name.**

 **"Anytime, Sev." Xhara smiled at him, though she hurt inside, reminded yet again that he would never know her. He didn't want to.**

 **So many times in the past few years she'd wanted to say 'I love you Sev… me… Xhara!"**

 **All he would ever see was Lily, the green-eyed, redheaded chick with flawless alabaster skin. She'd tried a few times to tell him that she was a different person inside, that her soul was different, going so far as to tell him her real name.**

 **Then, fear of his rejection kept her from pushing the issue when he got irritated and wouldn't believe or understand her words. Since then he would call her 'Sarah-Lily' in jest, never knowing how much it tore at her; he knew he was calling her Princess Lily!**

 **On that point, she was kind of relieved he'd gotten her name wrong; Xhara means 'blooming', 'flourishing' or 'flower'. She didn't want her name connected to Lily's in any way, though there had been a few times he got really emotional and called her 'his flower', his Lily.**

 **His hand, holding her heart and crushing it!**

 **She bit her lips as she pondered her predicament if her mum only knew she was falling for an 'imaginary friend' no amount of magick would keep Ishwari Diya from taking her daughter to a kosiidan psychiatrist. Her mum didn't believe in Xhara's soul-jumping - as Xhara had begun calling her visits to Sev years ago - even when she witnessed her daughter's magick.**

 **Soft fingers held her chin and she was pulled from her musings; using his thumb, Sev gently pulled her bottom lip from between her teeth.**

 **"You'll hurt yourself."**

 **Her heart was racing, he'd leant in closer to her and she hesitantly looked into eyes of polished onyx that seemed to be searching.**

 **There was a question there, in his eyes; she knew he saw the answer in hers when his head lowered and his lips met hers in a gentle kiss.**

 **"My flower," he whispered against her lips, he released her chin and cupped her jaw, pulling her into a deeper kiss.**

 **Her heart broke, she couldn't take this anymore and she made the decision then and there to never return.**

 **Sev was kissing Lily, not Xhara, she'd learned from Mentor Roh that this was the past; these two must be an old married couple by now. Tears escaped from the corners of her eyes.**

 **She held on to the front of his robes; the taste of coffee, the aroma of lavender and rosemary teasing her senses. She was thrilled at least, for a wonderful memory that would last a lifetime.**

 **The pair was lost in their kiss unaware that jealous eyes were upon them.**

The very next night Xhara broke her promise to herself and sent her soul to him again.

 **She was confused for a moment when she didn't see Sev but was in the company of two other girls near a lake. There was a commotion then and as she turned to a crowd of students she heard a sneering voice call out.**

 **"Who wants to see me take off Snivellus' trousers?"**

 **By then Xhara was close enough to see Sev suspended upside down by the boy she recognised as Black but before she could intervene his friend, Potter, had vanished Sev's pants baring his pale, bony legs and worn, grey boxers.**

 **Rage consumed her especially when she witnessed Sev's face redden in embarrassment.**

 **"Leave him alone you bullying filth!" The rage in her tone caught Potter's attention.**

 **"Aww, Lily-"**

 **"Let. Him. Down. Now!"**

 **"Only for you…"**

Xhara didn't witness anymore as she was pulled suddenly back to her own body. She moaned at the feeling of vertigo, when the sensation passed she opened her eyes to find Daemon staring at her from his place on the pillow next to her.

 ***You seemed to be in distress, I was concerned**.*

She sighed as she lay back under her covers, then reached out to scritch behind his ears.

"Thank you for pulling me back Daemon. I didn't think this would be so difficult; the soul wants what it wants," she said softly, "I'll try harder from now on to never go back. I promise."

She fell asleep to the gentle purring of her familiar who stood guard while she slept.

 **A/N - Kosiidan (Ko-See-Dan) - (I blended Yoruban words) African term for muggle. I barely use it in the story, though**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Hogwarts was exactly as she remembered from her soul-jumps.

Xhara gazed at the castle, ignoring everyone in the carriage she was riding that was being pulled by dark-grey, emaciated-looking horse-like creatures with bat-like wings. Thestrals, she believed they were called. After her third year, she wasn't surprised that she could see them; Mentor Roh had been waiting for her tenth year to allow her to go through the process to see them.

Hmm… why weren't they flying?

Her gaze returned to the castle and felt a fluttering in her stomach. It took all her willpower to dampen her anticipation at really seeing the school - in her own body- walking the corridors of the castle he'd called home for years. Xhara shook her head and looked down at the book she'd been reading the whole train ride. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't think of him, and she refused to.

At the entrance to the castle, she approached a stern looking witch who introduced herself before immediately taking her to an empty room where Xhara would wait with the first years to be sorted. Soon she was standing in the Great Hall facing the rest of the students.

"Before we begin the sorting," Professor McGonagall stated holding a hat, "let me introduce the only transfer student this year, Xhara Diya, from Uagadou School Of Magic and she will be joining our fourth-year students."

Xhara sat on the stool provided and the hat was placed on her head. A tiny voice spoke of her accomplishments, goals and dreams before yelling out, "Ravenclaw".

The hat was removed and she went to the table Professor McGonagall indicated. There was a space cleared - she guessed for the first years - and she sat on the bench next to a girl who introduced herself as one of the sixth year prefects, Padma Patil.

After shaking her hand, Padma said, "I'll be showing you the way to the common room tonight and in the morning I'll give you a map of the castle."

Xhara nodded and returned to observing the sorting, barely holding back a despondent sigh. Never did she think she would miss the earthiness of the Mountains of the Moon; the interconnected tunnels with gems and gold embedded and undisturbed along the walls, the ever-present mist and fresh mountain air.

Never again would she enter the swirling blue or green vortices positioned around the school in Gateway Chambers, that would take her to Mentor Roh or to her extracurricular activities of learning to hunt with and craft magickal weapons with the Nyota Tribe.

GOD! This place was so suburban it was cloying! At that moment, Xhara realised that the only reason she couldn't wait to come here was Sev, a boy she would never get to know in person or see ever again.

One other thing she knew she would miss the most were her runs with Ari along the forests of the mountains, as the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, just announced that the Forbidden Forest was off limits to students. Well… at least she knew Ari would have fun on his runs without having to worry about her.

She took a quick glance at the staff table, but the only teacher she remembered from her previous 'visits' was the potions teacher Professor Slughorn - _boy did he get old!_ She believed it was the only class in which Sev and Lily had partnered up.

She ignored the chatter of the first years on her left and Padma Patil got the hint that Xhara didn't feel like being friendly - to be honest, she was unused to it except for Sev - and the girl chose to speak to her friend on her other side.

Xhara thought to herself that maybe she should have tried to at least make one friend; she glanced quickly at Padma and looked away. Nah, she thought, maybe some other time and just then food appeared on the table in front of her to take her mind off of her cowardice.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

After dinner, Padma took her to the fifth floor, to the top of a spiral staircase and they came to a door with a bronze knocker in the shape of an eagle.

"Remember, in order to enter the common room, you must answer a riddle asked by the eagle knocker correctly or you won't get in unless someone who knows the answer comes along."

" _Until I am measured  
I am not known,  
Yet how you miss me  
When I have flown."_

"Time," Padma answered and stepped through the now open door.

Xhara was pleasantly surprised to see a wide, circular room with a midnight blue carpet, arched windows hung with blue and bronze silks, and a domed ceiling painted with stars.

The room was furnished with tables, chairs, and bookcases all made of oak; she was looking forward to seeing the grounds from up here in the mornings.

On their way up to the girls' dormitories, they passed a statue made of white marble which Padma said was a likeness of Rowena Ravenclaw, one of the founders of Hogwarts. They passed a few doors on either side of a corridor and got to the last at the end.

"The rest of the fourth year dormitories were already full so Professor Flitwick prepared an extra that you'll be sharing with one other person." Padma opened the door and led the way in.

Xhara decided that her mind was officially blown. There were two queen sized beds; one on the left of the room and one on the right with blue hangings and beddings, there were mahogany furnishings that blended beautifully with the cerulean theme.

"Even though you're a fourth year, because of your age this door is magickally connected to the fifth year baths and toilets. Tap once with your wand for the toilets and twice for the baths."

Xhara nodded absently. Along the length of both beds and against the wall there were wardrobes, then near the feet - with some distance between the wall and bed - on either side of the door were bookshelves. There was still room left over for at least two, maybe three more beds and bookshelves; along the wall behind the head of the beds, a distance away, were huge arched windows with soft seats and low tables they could use to study or just relax.

Her brows furrowed in confusion. Wasn't that what the common room was for, why was there a separate study area in the rooms as well?

Xhara would later find out that it was because of the other occupant of the room.

"This is Luna Lovegood, she volunteered to share your dorm room, even though she's a fifth-year." Xhara heard the off note in Padma's tone but ignored it as she smiled at Luna who waved at her.

"Well, I'll leave you to unpack your things," Padma said leaving the room, "don't forget to collect your schedule and map from me first thing tomorrow."

Xhara thanked her before the door closed behind her. She noticed Luna was packing away her clothes in the wardrobe and decided to get a start on her own packing as well.

Drawing her wand from its sheath on her right arm, she tapped her trunk to unlock it. With a simple spell using her wand, her clothes began to hang themselves in the open wardrobe and with small gestures from her right hand, she placed her books on the bookshelf.

It was at that moment she realised that Daemon wasn't in the carrier he hated, nor the room when she looked around.

"Oh, I forgot to mention," Luna said looking up from the magazine she'd been reading after unpacking, "your cat slipped out when I opened the door to the common room. I guessed it was yours because I've never seen it before."

Seeing Xhara's worried expression she continued, "I'm sure it'll be fine since the familiars and pets allowed into Hogwarts aren't dangerous, they can roam the castle once they're not a nuisance."

Xhara forced herself to smile in thanks and return to packing.

 _As long as no one tried to harm him or his witch-mother, Daemon Ari would hurt no one;_ this was his mantra every time Xhara begged him to be careful once he went out on his own.

He had probably found his way to the Forbidden Forest.

No one but Xhara and her now deceased father knew of Daemon's true form as Ari. She'd found him as an abandoned cub, deep in the jungle, at the base of the northern side of the Mountains of the Moon.

Daemon had confided, when he was still recovering, that he'd been born with a rare mutation his mother considered a weakness, and chose to starve him. When he grew too weak to follow her and his siblings, he was left behind to die.

Over the summer holidays, Xhara had taken extra classes at Uagadou achieving her animagus form and mastering various spells and charms along with two third years and one tenth year student.

 **It was the first day of her second year at Uagadou when she woke early to take a run in her animagus form. A sleek, graceful and swift predator with smooth fur and a dark tawny base covered with simple black spots slinked through the forest, toward the base of the mountain and into the jungle.**

 **The big cat was fast, and racing through the thick underbrush barely slowed her; it was a weak, pain-filled cry that caught her attention. Slamming her two front legs down hard and coming to a silent and near instant stop, her ears cocked as she listened for the sound, creeping silently through thick shrubs until the cries led her to the abandoned cub. Too weak to hide, and out in the open, the tiny ball of fur with eyes looked up at the unfamiliar feline in fear.**

 **She noticed that the cub was too weak to even lift it's head as it lay on its side; its breaths rapid and shallow. She sniffed to determine its species and recoiled.**

 **Xhara stood frozen for a moment … then two. Realising that she wasn't about to keel over and die, she relaxed, but this was short lived when a loud monstrous roar sounded close by.**

 **She heard nothing else, not even other animals; she saw nothing, everything had stilled. Too terrified to take a breath she glanced at the terrified cub. One word sounded in her mind.**

 ***Help?* The voice was weak and so baby-like her heart ached.**

 **There was no sound.**

 **Just a feeling.**

 **Instinct.**

 ** _To my Left_.**

 **Xhara quickly grabbed the cub by the scruff of its neck and ran to her right. Her heart raced at the glimpse she had of the giant nundu that sprang into the clearing the moment she ran.**

 **The nundu kept pace with her for a while, but the cheetah wasn't called the fastest species on the planet for nothing. By the time she hit sixty mph she was already at the base of the mountain, and the nundu had long given up.**

 **Before stepping from the cover of the forest she placed the nundu cub gently on the ground, and as she began to return to her human form she conjured clothing - the most difficult part for her at that time - directly to her body.**

 **Concealed under her cloak, she took the cub to her room, nursing him back to health within weeks. It took some time before Ari would reveal sadly, that his breath was non-toxic and he was completely unable to spread disease.**

It was by a horrific accident though, they would both find out that his bite coupled with saliva or a slice from his claw marks were poisonous; the deadly venom released would kill quicker than either wound. As he was still a cub, however, death for any unfortunate soul would be long and painful.

With both of them training together constantly, Ari was able to use Xhara's magic to shrink into her 'cat' familiar, Daemon, months later when he'd grown too big. Later on, she would register herself with the school as having a 'big cat'; due to it being forbidden to have a 'dangerous species' as a familiar.

As long as Ari followed the rules they'd adhered to at Uagadou, no one would suspect he was anything other than a cat, nor dangerous when provoked beyond reason.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Xhara had caved and tried going to _him_ once again her first night at Hogwarts, but when she opened her eyes to unfamiliar faces and surroundings she returned to her body disappointed; unwilling to observe anyone new after staying away from Sev for so long.

She studied her timetable for her classes while strolling next to Luna, who had offered to show her the way to the Charms classroom before going to her own Potions class.

There were seven core subjects: Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, History of Magic, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Astronomy and Herbology. As it was mandatory to add two extra subjects for third-year, Xhara decided to take Study of Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures.

As an extracurricular activity, she'd decided on Ancient Studies; its modules were similar to a rare, ancient Sumerian text she'd won - at a Uagadou Schoolwide Alchemical Event - called _Magick Of The Annunaki - Runic Charms, Potions and Alchemy._

Disappointment swept through her again on remembering that she would have to wait until sixth-year to study Alchemy, and that was only if other students wanted to study it as well. She'd have to think of a solution if she was the only interested student.

So absorbed in her timetable, she only became aware of Luna's discomfort when she heard giggling behind them.

"Did you hear Marietta? Loretta said that she begged for the chance to room with her," more giggling, "how pathetic is that? Looney Lovegood trying to trick the new girl into thinking she's normal."

Luna said nothing as the older girls passed them in the corridor and Xhara pretended to continue reading her timetable. What she observed for herself so far about Luna was that the girl seemed to be the quiet sort and given to daydreaming, not shy just preferring to remain silent unless spoken to; not unlike herself.

They finally got to the door outside Charms class and with a small smile she turned to Luna, "Thanks for your help, Luna," she turned to enter the class but quickly turned back, "hey, do you want to meet up in the Great Hall at lunch break?"

She thought of giving an excuse like studying together or something but decided against it, this way Luna knew she wanted to be friends and if she refused Xhara would continue doing what she usually did… not give a damn about anyone but family or familiar.

She released a breath she didn't know she was holding when Luna smiled brightly and nodded, "Okay, I'll tell you about the wrackspurts that were floating around your head while you were sleeping last night." Then she waved as she skipped away.

Xhara entered the still empty class with a frown; _what in the seven hells was a wrackspurt?_

Later that day she was cursing herself for never really paying attention when she'd been walking around Hogwarts in Lily's body.

Every single time her soul had returned here in the past, she would either be sitting next to Sev or seeing him close by before going to him.

She had always hated the fact that her soul had to possess someone to be with Sev, and the closest person had usually been Lily - except for that one time - because he'd liked the girl and so was usually seeking her out.

Xhara was running along the corridors to get to her Defence Against The Dark Arts class on time, due to a warning from Padma that morning about the professor. Glancing at her map in hopes that she was going in the right direction, she ran full tilt into a black wall, collapsing at its feet.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Professor Severus Snape, the newly appointed tutor of Defence Against The Dark Arts, was walking toward his classroom when he heard the sound of someone running along the corridor behind him.

He turned with a sneer to confront, whom he could only assume was, one of his students racing to get to the class before he did. He was taken by surprise when the student - who'd been closer than he thought - slammed into him and dropped to the floor.

Severus' eyes closed as he fought for patience, while the girl moaned somewhere at his feet.

"Oh… oh god _why_ ," she whined, grasping her face in both hands, "why are you so _hard_?"

Still standing erect, he glanced down to see a map of the school next to her.

 _Ah, of course, this must be the transfer student._

He had a fleeting thought of helping her up but he was actually... amused for some reason.

She was sitting up now, her eyes crossed as she looked down at her nose, touching it gently and wincing.

"Is is broken?" she moaned.

He rolled his eyes as he crouched next to her and took her chin, tilting her face toward him.

In that moment, Severus noticed two things; she gasped softly and her pupils dilated as she gazed at him.

He made a simple diagnosis with his wand before releasing her.

"It's just a sprain, but it may bruise. Go to the hospital wing and report to Madam Pomfrey, she will give you a salve; you should be able to make it back to class long before the first period is over."

The girl's stare was beginning to make him uncomfortable, until she seemed to shake herself.

" I... um... I don't know where to go S-sir."

He rolled his eyes again before summoning a house-elf, "Winky."

A house-elf dressed in a black tea towel appeared. Xhara shook her head sadly at the unkempt little being; she'd learned long ago from Mentor Roh about house-elves and their origins. If British witches and wizards only knew the destruction they caused the little Elves.

"Take Miss Die-ah...?"

"It's pronounced Dee-ah, sir. (Zah-rah) Xhara Diya"

"Winky, take Miss Diya to the hospital wing then return her outside the D.A.D.A. room."

"Yes, Master Snape sir."

Severus strolled away, his black robes billowing behind him, uncomfortably aware of big hazel coloured and heavily lashed eyes watching him go.

When the girl returned to class half hour later, she sat at a desk in the back of the class. The only time she looked at him was when he demonstrated a hex-deflection spell but other than that, like the rest of the students, she paid no extra attention to him.

He exhaled in relief, the last thing he needed was a student panting and making eyes at him like Sybil Trelawney.

Severus had all the students stand and banished the desks to an empty room so that there was space for everyone to practice the spell.

He paired everyone up and noticed that the girl stood looking around at the other students curiously. For some reason he felt disappointment shoot through him, he really didn't think that she would be a dunderhead, after all, she'd gotten into the Ravenclaw house. Was she another Lovegood?

Apparently his… _slight_ … concern in sending her to the hospital wing needed to be cast into the shadow of his vitriolic nature. His brows furrowed thunderously as he looked at her and raised his wand, the rest of the students quickly backed out of his line of fire.

"Defend yourself," he hissed dangerously.

Miss Diya was facing the girl she'd been paired with and when everyone else backed away she turned to face him and her eyes widened at the spell coming at her.

She'd been unprepared and fell back against the wall hunched over clutching her stomach, gasping and groaning harshly.

Severus immediately lifted the hex as he approached her, hiding his concern.

"My apologies Miss Diya, that was supposed to be a Tickling Hex,"

Angry eyes glared up at him through golden streaked curls, "It was," she said shortly, "I hate tickles."

His eyebrow rose elegantly, he remembered Lily had once told him she hated being tickled, but at those times when she couldn't stand being near him, he'd see her giggling madly when Potter used this same hex on her. He frowned, why was he even thinking of Lily now?

Pushing those unwanted memories away, he bent toward the girl and sneered as he enunciated each word silkily, "Wand at the ready Miss Diya, it is, after all, the most important tool in learning defence."

Severus almost deducted points when she smirked at him but it disappeared so quickly he was left to wonder if he imagined it.

"Yes, Professor Snape," she said softly pulling out her wand from her right sleeve.

He blanked his features and returned to the front of the room. As the double period class passed slowly, he decided to pay a visit to Aurora after her classes tonight; it was obviously long overdue.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Xhara lay on her bed after her last class for the day, twirling her Beech wand in one hand and petting Daemon, lying on her stomach, with the other.

One of the minor tools they were required to bring to Uagadou was a wand, but all the students were taught never to depend on them, after all, a wand can be broken or lost. As a whole, wands were unnecessary to almost all Uagadou students and graduates.

The constant use of a wand here wasn't the main cause of the myriad of emotions that were currently tormenting her though, and _seriously_ , was the man wearing a glamour or something because she didn't remember his features and teeth being _that_ fucked up!

 _ ***You're doing that thing with your emotions again.***_

Xhara looked across at Luna who was reading The Quibbler and humming to herself; assured that she was absorbed in her magazine Xhara replied quietly to Daemon's remark.

"I'm sorry, I have a lot on my mind… I'm just really… confused and…happy, maybe scared… a little hopeful," she sighed, tossing her wand onto the nightstand.

 _ ***Well, that was articulate. You know you can talk to me anytime, in fact, I insist. There were at least five instances today where I was racing to you, thinking you were in danger and needed me. Five times I almost changed!***_

She stared at him in shock, she did not know this.

"Daemon, why didn't you tell me?"

 _ ***I am**_ _**telling you, and I didn't want to worry you earlier, but now… whatever it is that's bothering you, it's affecting me too.***_

"It's _him_ Daemon, he's here in the school, a teacher. He… he touched my face, _my_ face! I almost fainted when I recognised him." She didn't have to elaborate as her familiar was the only living being she spoke to about Sev.

 _ ***Your troubling emotions are understandable, and I am always here when you're ready to speak more of this, really, but not now. I'm sleepy.***_

"Thank you sweetie, and I'm sorry about forcing my angsty teenage emotions on you," she said, lifting her neck to kiss his furry head as he blinked sleepily, "tonight after dinner I'll replace the barrier I used when I first started PMSing." She chuckled.

 _ ***That would be much appreciated.***_ He settled his head on her chest purring contentedly until he fell asleep. Xhara soon joined him, taking a much-needed rest before dinner in the Great Hall.

Luna lay hugging her pillow as she listened to Xhara's one-sided conversation with her cat. It was rare to have a true bond with a familiar; she was glad her new friend had someone to confide in and hoped that one day Xhara would come to trust her enough to confide in her too. She turned onto her back and fell into a light sleep.

A pair of bulbous brown eyes observed the sleeping girls before disappearing with the rest of its tiny body.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Winky sat in Hogwarts kitchen, wondering what should be done about the information she possessed. One year ago, when Winky had been at her lowest as an alcoholic free-elf, Winky decided she needed an anchor something that would keep her sane.

Winky believed that if she gave her loyalty to a witch or wizard; binding herself to that person would be enough to keep her going, even though Winky would still be considered a free elf.

Winky chose Master Snape and it had been the best decision Winky ever made. The time Winky served the professor so far had been fraught with differences of opinions, and for the past few months, there was one topic they could never agree on.

Aurora Sinistra, the trash Master Snape sullied his privates and his quarters with on a regular basis.

Master did not know it, but Winky had heard Sinistra speak insults about his features many times. Master would hurt if Winky told him, even though he did not love the nasty Astronomy professor. Master Snape was still full of love to give and he was starved for affection even from filth like Sinistra.

But Winky had found a solution; Master's female was now in the castle and though she was still a child in Master's eyes, because of who Mistress was to Master Snape, Winky knew young Mistress' secret.

Winky would push them together until Mistress was old enough for Master, so he could court her openly without condemnation from others.

There was a potion Winky heard of that would make the young Mistress capture Master's attention sooner, because Winky knew he would fight his attraction for the young Mistress. She would ask one of the Master's loyal students, Winky had heard an older boy speak of it.

He had said that the potion made his chosen female more susceptible to him. If this boy had taken the potion and it worked for him then it should work for young Mistress as well.

Winky would find this boy or maybe just take his potion, he _had_ said it was difficult to brew.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Two days later, Xhara woke to find Daemon playing with a round and fluffy yellow pillow on the floor; it hummed as it rolled every time he nudged it with his nose.

"Aww, your cat likes Floozy," Luna said sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, "and I can tell Floozy feels safe around him or he wouldn't have been humming."

It was at that point Xhara noticed the 'pillow' rolling on its own toward Daemon who was sitting calmly on the floor, his tail twitching lazily. Daemon, would then lower his head and nudge it away again.

Xhara blinked for a bit before a grin spread on her face, _oh_ , it was a puffskein!

"I'm guessing his name has something to do with the floo network."

Luna nodded with a smile, "I noticed that he enjoys it when I floo with him in my arms and I thought of calling him Soot. But the second time I used the floo to go on a school field trip, I accidentally bumped into the professor stepping out of the fireplace and I lost house points."

Luna added with a mischievous smile. "I got angry and called her a floozie; good thing I was holding my new pet puffskein then or I'm sure I would have gotten detention for a year. I must admit that over the years I've used his name often, even when he's not around."

Xhara didn't know the last time she laughed so hard and so long, "Oh my god, that's brilliant."

Luna joined her laughter when she realised that Xhara wasn't laughing _at_ her.

In the short time, she's been at Hogwarts, Xhara had seen first hand how the rest of the school - especially the females - treated Luna, it was nice to know that she repaid them in kind even in this small way.

A few moments later, sitting on the floor and leaning on the edge of their beds, Xhara felt a glow of affection well within her when Daemon strolled up to Luna and offered his head. As she pets him, his scent glands activated. Luna was under his protection as long as she was within the range of his senses; after all, he would never bond with her.

Sensing the emotion she allowed through the barrier, he simply said,

 _ ***She made you laugh.***_

"His name is Daemon Ari," she said softly to Luna, "he's my Familiar."

Luna nodded as she scritched him behind his ear, "I had a feeling. Did anyone tell you that you're allowed to take him anywhere with you, even classes?"

"No, and I wasn't sure if it was allowed here, that's why I left him in the room or let him roam the halls until classes were done."

"Once you have a bonded familiar it's allowed," Luna replied, "you can take him anywhere, unlike Floozy who's only my beloved pet and there are only a couple of classes where I'm allowed to take him."

Floozy had rolled over to Xhara and she listened to him hum as she sunk her fingers into his soft fur.

"Throw him to me."

Xhara looked up horrified before she remembered; she smiled as she tossed Floozy to Luna.

The girls sat tossing Floozy back and forth, enjoying his contented hums as he sailed through the air while they chatted and laughed between themselves.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

It was her first Hogsmeade weekend a week later; and as she usually did on weekends while at Uagadou, she ditched her robes for muggle wear and left her shoulder length hair loose.

Xhara chose a pair of black, high-waisted pencil jeans and a soft, white button down shirt which she tucked into the waist of the jeans neatly. On her feet were black ballet flats with a bow on the toe. She'd done a wash-n-go this morning, so her golden-streaked, brown curls were full and shone healthily.

She collected her small pouch with extra galleons and slipped the loops on her wrist. After brushing out Daemon's long, sleek fur she left their room with him strolling at her side. He'd 'grown fully' over the summer into a huge brown-ticked-torbie Maine Coon, size three feet long, twenty-five pounds - to meet Luna who was already in the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Xhara!" A first year whose name she didn't know yet approached her as she was leaving the common room.

"Padma said when you came down from your room, to tell you that Professor Flitwick wants to see you in his office right away." The kid hurried away to play a game of exploding snaps before she could reply.

When she got to Professor Flitwick's office, the Deputy Headmistress was there as well.

"Good morning, Professor Flitwick, Professor McGonagall."

"Pleasant morning Miss Diya, come in. Professor McGonagall and I just had some questions about your transfer papers, I'm sorry to say we only just got to them."

As Xhara entered the office, Daemon strode in with her. When she sat in the chair Flitwick indicated, Daemon sat at her feet, wrapping his long furry tail around him.

"Well, this answers one question." At Xhara's confused look Flitwick continued. "We'd noticed that you'd registered a cat familiar but have never seen you with it; I see why you say he's a 'big cat'. Is it a male or female?"

"A male Professors, his name is Daemon Ari," she replied as calmly as possible.

"Oh he's an absolute beauty, may I…?" At Xhara's nod, Professor McGonagall gently strokes him behind his fluffy brown black-streaked ears and he purred.

Xhara smirked a little when she felt Daemon's ego boost, she had asked him years ago to limit his communications with her when others were around - as it was distracting - unless it was an emergency.

"You don't need to hide your communications with him Miss Diya, almost all familiars that bond true with their humans can speak with them," Flitwick said when he noted her barely hidden smirk, "and you may take him anywhere on the grounds, even to classes, as long as he doesn't distract you from your class work."

"He won't Professor, I've had him since he was a baby and we've trained together a lot; he's my best friend." Then she added with a smile, "And he says thank you for your compliment Professor McGonagall, he thinks he's beautiful too. "

The professors chuckled and Daemon rolled his eyes. After fussing with Daemon some more and giving Xhara a list of potions she should take after sharing her magic with him and vice versa, Professor McGonagall turned to her.

"Another reason you're here is because of your transferred animagus registration form," she stood and gestured for Xhara to do the same.

"I just need to see your transformation to ensure there are no complications. Also, to prevent any panicking student from hitting you with a dangerous spell during your transformations, you'll transform in the Great Hall on Friday before the lunch period with two of my new seventh-year animagi."

Xhara stood and nodded before transforming into the cheetah.

 _ ***Aj'Iya.***_

Daemon leant in and wrapped himself around her. This was the name he called her every time she shifted into her animagus form.

They rubbed faces as they both stood purring, Xhara's purr being slightly deeper and more frequent. If the professors had been paying closer attention they would have known something wasn't right with Daemon then.

 **A/N - pronounced (ahj - ee - yah) Aj'Iya (my joined use of two Yoruban words): aje - witch and iya - mother.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

During the walk toward Hogsmeade, the girls talked about animagi as Xhara had told Luna about her animagus form a few days before.

At one point, Xhara had asked Luna if she planned on doing practicals with Professor McGonagall when she said something that made Xhara frown in concern.

"Well, I read a book that says your patronus can give you an idea of what form you would take as an animagus and last year I learned to cast the Patronus Charm from Harry Potter. It's a hare, so I don't think I'll be too safe in that form."

Xhara bit her lower lip, stopped and looked around. The two had been the last to leave because of her late start at breakfast, so no one was behind them and the students up front were a good distance away.

She thought of her happiest memory, lifting her right hand she pointed her finger.

"Expecto Patronum!"

The girls waited as the dazzling, silver leopard strode up to Xhara, butting his head into her outstretched palm. She only knew it was a black leopard because the rosettes spread about its body were dark; if it had been a tawny coloured leopard the rosettes would have been silver.

She knew for a fact that this had once been Sev's patronus. It may even be his animagus form if he had one now, which was why she was showing this to Luna. She wanted to confide in her new friend.

Professor Snape had demonstrated the Patronus Charm - his was a doe, _Lily's_ doe probably - and said the students were to study the theory before they practised it the next Friday. Apparently, the Headmaster wanted to officially add the charm to the curriculum for fourth years because of Harry Potter's club the year before.

Would Sev recognise his old patronus?

Xhara doubted, his patronus had changed when he was much younger; his mother had taught him the charm before he even began Hogwarts along with many other spells and potions.

Severus had become a Master of both Defense and Potions, thanks to his mother's teachings when Tobias wasn't around. There were so many things he'd confided to her in Lily's body, most she would never repeat to another soul.

Would Professor Severus Snape ever confide in Xhara Diya the way Sev had 'Lily'?

When her patronus finally disappeared she said, "Luna… you're the first female friend I've ever had and you're also the third person - outside of family - that I think I can trust."

Luna looked pleased even though Xhara felt and probably looked a bit apprehensive.

"I have something to tell you and I'm hoping… no, I believe that this time my trust is not misplaced."

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Xhara told Luna about her soul's ability to travel to the past. She didn't give her any details about Sev's life as she felt that it would be a betrayal of his trust; even though the person he thought he'd trusted was Lily.

Luna listened without interrupting, no one knew better how it felt to be rejected just because she was different. She was shocked though that her friend was the soulmate of Professor Severus Snape; there were a few times in her first year when he'd made her cry.

"Soulmate!" Xhara shook her head in denial, "My mentor once hinted something like that to me, but I don't believe that. Sev was my best friend, and I'd had a huge crush on him before it turned into something more. I'm just hoping he doesn't recognise my patronus."

"Then how would you explain your soul continuously finding his in the past. Maybe if you practised you could visit other people, but think about this, the first time your ability presented itself it connected to the one thing it would recognise, it's eternal mate."

Xhara decided that she would think more about this ' _Soulmate_ ' stuff, Mentor Roh had even pointed out a topic in one of Xhara's own rare texts that she could study the subject in its entirety.

By the time they'd strolled into Hogsmeade, Luna had confided that her mother had told her all about the strange animals she kept seeing. Xhara then told her that she believed that Luna was seeing magical creatures from other realms, but didn't elaborate. Xhara seemed reluctant to say more and Luna smiled sadly to herself.

She was grateful for Xhara's input though, it made their new friendship seem more real. Luna admitted to how lonely she'd been since everyone had shunned her, until Harry Potter begun talking to her. Unfortunately, the insults began again over the summer from a girl she had thought was a friend.

"Do you think Harry likes you?" Xhara asked with a teasing smile, "I noticed him looking at you a few times."

"He's a very caring person, so I think he's just worried about how everyone treats me," Luna said noncommittally.

"Luna don't do that," Xhara said, placing a comforting hand on Luna's arm, "we've been getting to be good friends for a week now and I can tell when you're… you know…" Xhara twirled her index finger in a circle around her temple, "trying to make people think you _are_ looney."

Luna's cheeks reddened before she answered, "I don't think he does, but I will admit that I wish he did."

Xhara smiled and linked her arms with Luna's, ignoring her own discomfort at their close proximity to each other. "I have an idea and I'll talk more about it when we stop for lunch. So first, take me to a quill shop, I need some coloured inks… and stuff."

Arms still linked, Luna took her to Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop with Daemon keeping watch as he trailed after them.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

The girls visited Honeydukes where Xhara bought choco balls, two large bars of dark chocolate, liquorice wands and two large bags of blood pops for Daemon which she was going to transfigure into a giant bone shape. Luna bought every flavour beans, chocolate frogs and chocolate covered raisins.

At The Magic Neep, they bought a selection of fruits for their study area in their dorm room. Xhara purchased some apple-sized seedless grapes and strawberries that she had to place a charm on to prevent them from squishing.

On the lunch hour, Luna took her to The Three Broomsticks where Xhara found a vacant table while Luna got drinks. Daemon sat on the bench next to her as she sat looking around and recognised a few professors at a table including Sev.

No… Professor Snape. She chided herself, she couldn't think of him as her friend/crush anymore. He didn't even know her, shit, she didn't really know him. The love was still there, though; the all-encompassing, soul-selling, want - to - be - in - his - presence - all - the - time….

 _ ***Damn it! Alright, already!***_

"Sorry, didn't know I was projecting my thoughts. Guess that's something new we need to practice."

Because of the busy lunch hour, there was a house-elf taking orders from those who decided to eat in. Luna appeared with two foaming glasses, passing one to Xhara, the house-elf appeared and they ordered some fried foods.

Xhara ordered a saucer of espresso for Daemon, the house-elf vanished and reappeared a minute later with their orders. With a quick glance around Xhara touched the rim of Daemon's saucer with a finger. Across the room, at least three to five shots disappeared from a wizard's bottle of Ogden's Firewhiskey and blended with the espresso. She banished a galleon from her pouch to the table.

 _ ***Thank you, I was hoping you wouldn't forget.***_

"It was nothing, the problem is going to be getting a bottle into our dorm room unless of course, I can have a house-elf get it for you."

Luna, used to Xhara speaking out loud to Daemon, continued eating her fries quietly.

It was after they had eaten and were sipping on their drinks when Xhara said, "So… my plan."

At Luna's genuinely blank stare she added, "About your emerald eyed boy over there that's been throwing you looks every time his friends look away. He lost some points for that, but I can see why you're drawn to him."

"He does have gorgeous eyes," Luna replied with pinkened cheeks

"I've heard he has his mother's eyes," she replied, imagining how broken Sev must have felt when Lily hooked up with Potter she mumbled, "his father was a right jackass and bullying filth though."

"Hello Professor Snape," Luna said airily, "would you care to join us?"

Xhara coughed and cleared her throat when he sidled up into her line of vision from behind her. She quickly schooled her features to one of blank innocence; thank you Luna Lovegood.

Professor Snape glanced at her, rolled his eyes at Luna and went to leave the bar without a reply.

"You did not just ask that man to join us," she said as though scandalised, "I almost choked on my drink."

"I just like scaring him sometimes, he looks nice when he's surprised."

Xhara didn't know it, but her full throaty laughter caused the subject of their discussion to pause in the doorway before exiting.

 _ ***The plan already.***_ Daemon said, bored out of his mind.

"Okay, okay… the plan," she turned to Daemon momentarily, "I know you're bored, so I promise that you and I are going for a run later." Seeing him perk up at the thought of a run with his Aj'Iya, Xhara turned back to Luna.

"When I was a little girl, my mum use to tell me stories of how she wooed my dad."

Luna leant forward on the table, already having an idea of where she was going with her story.

"When she told those stories, I would see the way daddy would smile at her and he seemed to remember those times with so much fondness. I'm thinking you and I can do the same thing; anonymously though, just to be sure our guys are… receptive."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

At curfew the Monday after the Hogsmeade trip, Professor Flitwick summoned all the Ravenclaws to the common room for a brief meeting.

"As you all know, on October thirty-first, Hogwarts celebrates with a feast. This year, the Headmaster has approved of the fifth, sixth and seventh years having a masked ball after the feast. Just something to take your minds off all of the extra studying."

Hearing the disappointed groans from the younger years he said, "Now, now don't worry, the rest of you can return to the common room to have your own little celebration after the feast."

That night Xhara dreamt… at least she hoped it was a dream, actually, it had been more like a nightmare. Maybe trying to control where her soul went without Mentor Roh had been a bad idea.

Her former mentor had been giving her training exercises for her mind and helping her to awaken the points of energy throughout her body - the better to control and fuel her magic - which she had achieved just before leaving Uagadou.

Mentor Roh had cautioned her before she left, that it was imperative that she find a tutor here at Hogwarts before she continued her soul-jumping.

After doing her own research and getting input from Luna, Xhara concluded that there were no teachers here that were on par with Mentor Roh's knowledge or ability. Maybe Headmaster Dumbledore but Xhara knew better than to trust anyone so easily. Books from the restricted section and her own few rare texts - which she'd won at her previous school - were all she had now.

Since Professor Snape was here in her present and a part of her school life, Xhara found that she couldn't return to his past, but now she had a sneaking suspicion that she could go to his future.

Once she fell asleep that night, she immediately began to dream.

 **Xhara was walking through Hogwarts corridors and drifted into a room she hadn't been to before. Soon, she was sitting opposite Professors Sinistra and Snape in the staff lounge.**

 **She looked down at herself to see her own body; she picked up a shiny teaspoon and saw her own face. The Professors paid no attention to the student in their midst; she loudly cleared her throat, but no one looked at her. She was invisible to them.**

 **Both were sipping from tea cups, seemingly just tolerating each other's company until Snape began murmuring to Sinistra.**

 **"I really enjoyed your surprise that night," he said softly as he gazed around the room as though bored, "I can't stop thinking about finding you naked in my bed."**

 **"** _ **Severus**_ **..." Sinistra's voice was breathless as she pretended to fix her curls, which appeared thicker than Xhara's own. If Sinistra had been pale skinned, and not a touch darker than Xhara, the woman would have been red in the face.**

 **The teacup near his lips, Snape continued silkily, mercilessly, "I never thought I'd enjoy taking** _ **you**_ **over and over, making you scream for me.** _ **Begging**_ **me… How about we repeat..."**

 **Xhara heard no more as she'd run from the room to find a dark corridor to hide in.**

She'd woken, crying, to Luna patting her hair gently and talking about some weird fairy creature that fed on dreams.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

The whole school was buzzing about the ball the next morning, even the first to fourth years couldn't wait for the ball, as they were going to have their own party without prefects around.

Xhara and Luna were in their room, up early, preparing the first of the courting gifts they'd bought in Hogsmeade. She decided, unlike in the past when she'd had no choice or even a chance, this time she would fight for the love of Severus Snape.

Luna's wasn't a purchased gift; with a little help from Xhara, she'd created a charm that she was going to use on Harry's glasses.

The charm would render his glasses invisible and non-removable; only he could remove them and they would become visible only when they're not on his face. They could not be knocked off by accident or deliberately, and they were unbreakable.

Luna would be doing the charm herself, once her note was delivered, during breakfast or lunch when she would most likely see him in the Great Hall. Surrounded by a few hundred students, he would not be able to detect his admirer.

Xhara's first gift were a bunch of the giant grapes and strawberries in a large black basket, wrapped in clear plastic and tied with a Slytherin-coloured bow. She decided to have it delivered to him in private; though she remembered Sev's love of fruits, Professor Severus Snape would despise being given a gift like this in public. Her anonymous letter would be delivered to him at breakfast in the Great Hall though.

They were wondering how they could deliver the gifts and letters without using the school owls. After these first sets, the guys may start monitoring the owlery, _Sev anyway_ , Xhara thought - when the house-elf, Winky, appeared offering her services.

The girls sat discussing the ball at breakfast, as they'd agreed that they would never speak of their courting of the guys outside their dorm room.

Since Xhara believed that Harry was already attracted to Luna, the night before, she suggested that Luna continue to woo Harry but in one of her letters confide that she would reveal herself to him at the ball.

"What if he's already asked someone or he asks another girl by then?"

" **Oh… crap, I didn't think of that. How would we even know if he asks someone? In fact, he may even ask you to go with him, Luna. Which would be so much more romantic when you reveal yourself; of course, he'll be receiving love notes and gifts from an 'anonymous' witch and knowingly going to the ball with you…", Xhara paused, then said, "we didn't really think this through did we."**

" **Winky can help, Winky will follow Harry Potter and his red friend. Harry Potter would talk with his red friend."**

That had been last night; now, while they ate breakfast and Luna spoke of costumes, Xhara wandlessly and silently cast the charm aimed in the general direction of Harry's face. It took her a while though as she had to wait until he wasn't using a cup or a fork.

They came to the conclusion that Luna couldn't have done it without raising her wand, whereas Xhara made it seem as though she were doing normal hand gestures while speaking.

"Harry, what happened to your glasses?" They heard, from the Granger girl.

Harry's cheeks pinkened and he hastily put the letter in his bag and attacked his bacon and eggs, "Nothing, just a charm I used on them."

Luna had asked, in her anonymous letter to him, to keep her admiration a secret for now.

Seeing that the charm worked she said to her friend, "You know what Luna, I just thought of the perfect costume for you two."

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Severus poked at the letter with his wand, hesitant to open an unmarked letter. Only his name was written on the outside, with no indication of whom it was from. All his silent spells sparked no response, and he finally opened it with a sigh of boredom.

 _Severus,_

 _I know that the contents of this letter may seem inconceivable,_

 _but I assure you these assertions are true._

 _I've been observing you for a long time; and daily,_

 _my appreciation for you multiplies._

 _I'm enraptured by your resonant, silky eloquence, your dark soul-searching eyes;_

 _the feline confidence off your stride which facilitates_

 _that signature billowing of your robes._

 _I am captivated by you… Goddess, help me, but I don't want to be free!_

 _I hope one day to truly be yours, to belong to you._

 _I dream of this… sleep has become a promise of being in your arms,_

 _and waking life an interruption unless you claim what I offer;_

 _myself, my devotion to you. My dark stormy knight, please accept_

 _this letter and my offering I've placed in your office, as my first courting gift to you._

 _If you choose to toss this away, know that you have my devotion_

 _regardless, but I will abide by your wish and remain forever…_

 _Your Secret Admirer._

His facial expression remained blank as he read the letter but inside, he was furious. He read the letter again noting its request before calmly folding it and placing it on the table in front of him.

So… one of these females thought to make a fool of him. Which was it… a professor or a student?

He knew what he looked like, he knew what females thought of him, he would _never_ forget.

Severus glanced at the letter lying innocently in front of him as he sipped his coffee; she'd left something for him in his office, hmmm… if he allowed this charade to continue, the type of gifts he received should give him an idea of whom they were from - whether a desperate older woman or some foolish young girl.

He took a second cup of coffee, if he waited a little longer he could rule out those females who left the Great Hall. She was waiting for his reaction… he'll take his sweet time.

Sybil Trelawney wasn't in the Great Hall and he breathed a sigh of relief. Professor Sprout and Madam Pomfrey left just then, and he mentally noted as many of the female students who left as he could. He couldn't stay much longer, it would be out of character for him.

He really wanted to rip the letter to pieces, end this nonsense now, but this was almost … intriguing. If this letter was genuine … no, no, he refused to believe that this was anything but a cruel joke someone wanted to play on him!

And he would play, he decided, absolutely _no one_ makes a fool of Severus Tobias Snape.

He stood up, made a show of placing the letter in his robes and left the Great Hall.

In his office, the gift he found surprised him. It told him that this admirer has been studying him. He checked it for any harmful spells and finding none he called Winky. The elf appeared immediately.

"Take this to my quarters, you may leave it on the side table in the sitting room. Wait…"

He conjured one of the giant strawberries from the still sealed basket before allowing Winky to go. He heard the commotion as his first-period sixth-year students entered his classroom; placing the strawberry in a stasis charm on the desk, he glided out of his office to terrorise the Gryffindors.

It was sometime during the class, he heard Potter mumble to the Gryffindor Know-It-All,

"It was a gift Hermione and yes they're still there, now would you please let me concentrate on this hex."

 _Hmmm, so the infamous Boy-Who-Lived received a gift as well_. He had noticed the boy without his glasses and assumed he'd had magickal surgery or contacts.

Was this a coincidence? Was this female playing the both of them? Or, were there two females involved? If so, and he found out who Potter received his gift from, maybe he could identify her accomplice.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Friday came and it would be just before the lunch break that the three students would transform in front of their schoolmates.

Xhara was standing away from her classmates in her second period D.A.D.A. class completely nervous. Not about her animagus transformation within the next two hours, but about the Patronus Charm, Professor Snape had been instructed to tutor them in the hopes of officially adding it to the fourth-year curriculum.

So far, everyone else was yelling the charm with only a few producing a light shield or nothing. She was scared, the perfect test to see if she could produce her patronus in such a condition, but this thought did not help her fear go away.

Xhara had yet to even say the spell and she knew her professor was going to notice, hell, he probably already had. Finally, she did what she usually did, without a thought for what she was doing and raised her trembling hand, glad that none of the other students was paying any attention to her as they were trying to get the charm themselves.

Her eyes closed as she thought of one of her happiest memories, the day she experienced _his_ kiss.

"Expecto Patronum!"

A soft warm head nudged the palm of her still outstretched hand and a brilliant smile was on her face before she finally opened her eyes. She held his head in both hands, smiling at his purrs and stroking his ears as he would only be solid for less than a minute.

"Interesting."

Xhara started at the low, silky voice that sounded next to her, and she looked up at her professor who'd slid around from behind her silently.

Why does he do that? When? How?

"Ten points to Ravenclaw, Miss Diya," he added snidely, "and that's only because you are the first to produce your patronus. You may leave and an essay on your particular patronus is to be handed in for your next class: eight inches should do."

He returned to strolling about the class, "The next student who can produce a full patronus will be allowed to leave as early as Miss Diya."

Xhara returned her gaze to her patronus before the other students caught her staring at Professor Snape longingly, she released a shaky breath. Why had she even been afraid? She should have known he would show no reaction, even if he did recognise her patronus. Sensing that it was about to become incorporeal she leant near to its ear and whispered the words she longed to say to him.

"I miss you."

With a sad smile, she let her patronus go and turned to pack up her belongings before leaving the classroom. If she had looked back at her professor - the one thing she has always refused to do during classes - she would have seen his eyes widen at the wisp of light that left a message with him.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Xhara sat alone at the Ravenclaw table in the Great Hall, she'd decided to leave the library early - where she'd been after D.A.D.A class - to wait the ten minutes it would take until the students were summoned by Headmaster Dumbledore.

"Are you nervous?"

She glanced across at Luna who sat next to her.

"Not about this," she replied, "we practised the Patronus Charm today."

Xhara played with Daemon's ear in greeting; she'd sent him to class with Luna for her second period. She didn't want any accidents in D.A.D.A, with stray hexes hitting him and the resulting mauling and death of a student.

"You're afraid he'll notice after you transform."

"By the end of today Luna, everybody's going to know that my patronus and my animagus form aren't the same animals. Not that I care that everyone knows that I'm in love with someone or thinks something tragic happened to me." She paused as she absently hugged Daemon to her.

"I don't know if I'm more scared he'll put two and two together or that he won't, but today in class I realised something," she whispered hoarsely, "he's a thirty-five-year-old man, I'm going on sixteen next month. He won't want a child, Luna, and that's what I am."

Luna was quiet for a moment, gently petting Floozy in her arms - she'd brought him along to keep Daemon company - before she placed a comforting hand on Xhara's shoulder.

"Then maybe it would be better if you took a step back from the situation with him," she raised her hand to prevent Xhara from interrupting, "I don't mean give up, you're soulmates so that's impossible, continue giving him 'the stuff' but I really think you should be with someone your own age right now."

"I don't know… that feels wrong. I know it's not, but I think that point's moot anyway, none of these guys here ever look at me."

"You're wrong … _you_ don't look at _them_."

Xhara was still ruminating quietly by the time the students began filing into the Great Hall. She rose and went to the front of the staff table when Luna drew her attention to Professor McGonagall, who was summoning her and the other two animagi.

She listened as Professor McGonagall warned the students about hexing, taunting or ridiculing any student in their animagus form, and encouraging those who were willing to learn, to see her after school hours in her office.

Xhara didn't know either of the seventh years, there were a boy and a girl; the girl went first, turning into a common buzzard a shade of brown with white feathers at its neck. Its call sounded almost like the meow of a cat as it flew once over the gaping students before landing on Professor McGonagall's arm.

Xhara had wanted to transform first, but the professor had preferred her students change first as their forms would not incite panic. The sight of the seventh year animagi would at least prepare the students for Xhara's own form. Hence, the boy went next, changing into an animal that appeared to be a weasel-like bear.

How could a Wolverine _not_ incite panic?

She tensed when Daemon projected his unease, and not waiting for the go-ahead from the professor, Xhara transformed. The wolverine was completely unaware of her as it charged to attack Floozy humming in Luna's arms. Screams erupted throughout the Great Hall, teachers cannoned from their seats.

Xhara, however, was already racing to head between the wolverine and Daemon, who she knew would defend her friend and place himself in jeopardy. She was hoping to knock the animagus aside, which she did. Unfortunately, the wolverine was vicious and ready to kill; he quickly swung back, slashing her upper left front paw (arm).

The attack ended swiftly with Professor Snape reversing the animagus to his human form. Xhara lay on the floor panting, still in her animagus form and was about to change when an intense feeling of rage overwhelmed her.

Daemon was now standing in front of her, his tail twitched slowly as he crouched facing the boy who was getting to his feet. Fear choked her when she saw Daemon begin to grow and she did the only thing she could think of.

Blocking out the pain, she began… to chirp.

It was embarrassing, but it was the one thing Daemon loved and constantly teased her about because she sounded like a little bird.

Xhara could feel multiple eyes on herself and Daemon, curious about what was happening, but she ignored them all. His ears twitched backwards, but he still glared and hissed menacingly at the boy sprawled and dazed on the floor. She chirped again.

 _ **:Daemon, please they might take you from me!:**_

She chirped once more and he turned to her, his eyes glowing.

 _ ***Aj'Iya. I am sorry. It is my fault you are hurt.***_

 _ **:No Daemon it's not. The boy clearly didn't train as he should, the blame falls to him:**_

Knowing the teaching habits of Professor McGonagall by now, Xhara knew she was right. After all, the girl had changed into a bird without immediately embracing animal instinct, and even if she had, a buzzard wasn't as dangerous as a wolverine.

She purred as he settled before her, his body returned to a 'normal' size.

Once she was certain he wasn't going to change and attack the boy, she returned to her human form and Professor McGonagall conjured a stretcher to take her to the hospital wing.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Xhara remained in Madam Pomfrey's care overnight, and was allowed to return to her dorm room after breakfast. While in the infirmary, she'd received a letter from her mother enquiring about her health and safety.

This was just another example of the difference between Hogwarts and Uagadou. At her previous school, they would never have worried a student's parent over a scratch (gaping claw mark), it was considered a part of the growth and development of the magickal child; letting go of the parental controls.

She sighed as she went over to the study area to write a letter reassuring her mother that she was doing well, and was safe. She was sealing the envelope when Luna came in with a paper bag.

"I brought you some breakfast from the Great Hall, I know for a fact that students aren't allowed much with Madam Pomfrey watching over them." She placed the bag on the low table next to the bowl of fruits and sat on the soft floor cushion.

"Thanks, I am still a bit hungry."

They both ate in silence for a bit until Xhara asked the question to which she was unsure if she wanted the answer.

"Did you notice anything during, well … after the attack?"

"You mean when Daemon started growing bigger," Luna said candidly, "don't worry, almost everyone was focused on you with the bird-like chirps you were making. Professor Snape and a few other teachers might have noticed though."

Xhara rubbed her still sore arm and shifted in her seat, "How do you feel about it though?" She asked quietly. "Aren't you curious as to why he was getting bigger?"

"Of course, but I trust Daemon and more importantly, I trust you. Daemon was protecting Floozy and me and that's all that matters. You'll tell me when you're ready."

Xhara felt her eyes water and she pulled Luna into a hug thanking her for her patience before pulling away and returning to her meal.

She was not a touchy feely person except with her parents or young Sev, so hugging and comforting someone always made her uncomfortable and self-conscious. Since her newfound friendship with Luna, she made it a point to show some affection no matter how slight and not be so standoffish, as the witch beside her felt secure enough to hug Xhara when the mood came over her.

"He's not dangerous unless provoked…" she began as she told her best and only other friend that her familiar was the feared Nundu of the continent of Africa, and how she'd found and cared for an abandoned cub.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

By the next Monday, the three professors that had observed Daemon's near change the Friday before, had gathered to discuss the mishap. Xhara had been called to the Headmaster's office, where she decided to confess to her familiar's true form.

She told them about the same event of finding Daemon - minus the crying - that she told Luna.

Her concern had been for nought; even the secret and private ritual she'd performed with the approval of her former Mentor, had been unnecessary here in England.

No one, not even the British Ministry of Magic had the authority to separate a true bonded familiar from their chosen witch or wizard no matter how dangerous the animal was considered, or how young the Magi.

Professors Hagrid and McGonagall had requested to see Daemon in his true form sometime and Professor Snape glanced at her blankly before sweeping out of the room.

Accepting a lemon drop under the knowing gaze of twinkling blue eyes, Xhara wished the Headmaster a good day after being dismissed.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Severus gave the Wound Cleansing potion a final stir and readied the phials for storing. Madame Pomfrey had requested a new batch, and as always, trusted only him to brew her potions perfectly.

Her last phial had been depleted on the wounds of the Ravenclaw girl. Miss Diya was becoming a puzzle he… needed to piece together. First off, her patronus had been unexpected and strangely familiar.

When he was seven and his mother finally decided to tutor him in her magickal knowledge, one of the first charms she'd taught him was the Patronus Charm. He didn't - and still doesn't - know why she started with that particular charm; the Patronus Charm was an extremely advanced piece of magick. Yet he'd succeeded.

His Patronus had at first been an incorporeal shield, but after a week of rigorous practice on his part - there's always been a need to make his mother proud of him - he'd finally produced a corporeal patronus. A black leopard cub, his mother told him, and when he'd been disappointed by its size, Eileen had assured him that it was only because he was still a child himself and that his cub would mature when he turned eleven.

Severus had seen his mature patronus only once since he turned eleven, by the next year it had taken the form of a doe. He'd been proud to show Lily his love for her in this way and though his patronus 'fought' to return, Lily's doe remained.

Miss Diya's patronus was similar to what his own had once been.

Now, the second part of the puzzle, her animagus form was that of a cheetah. Was Miss Diya's patronus a result of her father's death then? She most likely had loved her father, and her mourning of his passing would most likely have been profound for her patronus to become a representation of him, a muggle.

Or, there was a boy somewhere in Egypt waiting for her to return, or who just might come looking for her.

There was a disturbing feeling in his chest. Unwilling to go through another round of acid reflux brought on by his terrible eating habits, he searched his cupboards for a stomach soothing potion and downed it.

It's minty flavour soothe his burning insides on the way down and he returned to filling the phials of Wound Cleansing potions. His mind completely distracted from thoughts of a hazel eyed Ravenclaw.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

"Did he give you an answer?"

It was another Hogsmeade weekend and students, especially the fifth to seventh years, were purchasing items they would need for the masked Halloween ball.

Luna had informed Harry in a letter, of the costume she'd be wearing and asked him to nod if he would wear the costume that would complement hers. The gift she gave him was a holster for his wand.

Xhara had been to Professor Slughorn's office to inquire about making potions for extra credit, trying to get a head start on an approval for Alchemy; she had missed Luna's gift-giving to Harry.

"He smiled and nodded," Luna replied with an airy laugh, "Ginny asked him what he was nodding at."

"At least he knows for sure it's not her, with that costume idea he's going to believe his admirer's kosiidan-bred. Though I think he believes it's you, he watches you more often."

They both had come to the conclusion that Harry was too shy when it came to girls, and he would never initiate contact with Luna even if he really did like her.

"Well if you'd stop winking at him then elbowing me, he'd be more surprised at the ball."

Xhara laughed as she hugged Floozy to her - Daemon was chasing a rat nearby… poor rat.

"I can't help it," she replied breathlessly, "he looks so adorable all cutesy and red."

This time Luna joined her in laughter unaware of the professors trailing some distance behind them.

"You've been lost in thought since we left the castle _Professor Snape_ ; anything you'd like to share? We haven't… spoken… in a couple weeks or so."

Severus wanted to snap at the woman for addressing him in her 'girlish' tones in public. Many times before, he'd regretted starting a sexual relationship with Sinistra but none more than now.

The woman had a… twisted sexual appetite, and the only reason Severus obliged her was because no other woman wanted him. The only reason she accepted him was because, as she's said more than once, 'he was hung like a hippogriff' and he knew how to keep his mouth shut.

He'd even heard her a few times disparaging his looks with Rolanda Hooch. The first time was as he'd walked behind them, disillusioned, after curfew. He knew Hooch was one of her… objects of release, so he wasn't surprised when they both returned to Rolanda's rooms.

Her words nor her actions hurt him in any way though, he knew what he looked like, he always has.

"What's the matter Aurora, Kingsley got tired of watching you and Hooch going at it?" He sneered as his gaze fluttered over the girls trailing ahead of them.

"Come now _Professor_ , don't be like that, you know you're my favourite."

"Calm yourself, woman, we are in a public setting in case you haven't noticed."

Sinistra huffed and pulled on her professional demeanour, noting the girls ahead of them then.

"It's strange, isn't it? I had heard that the girl's patronus was a leopard, yet she transformed into a cheetah. I never thought that a child so young could know true love."

"Humph… and you wonder why I keep telling you that your thoughts on Magickal Theory are rubbish. A life changing event could have just as easily caused her patronus to change and for your information, love comes in many forms, and even though he was a muggle, her patronus could represent her recently deceased father. There is much in magick we all may never know Sinistra. Now, why don't you head over to Madam Puddifoot's to check on the imbeciles that patronise that ridiculous place, while I head to the apothecary, there are a few ingredients I need for my personal brewing."

With that said he left her behind, heading for J. Pippin's Potions, unaware that the woman had glanced thoughtfully at the girl before heading for the tea shop.

For the next fifteen minutes, Severus perused the small supply of rare books and potions offered by Jonas and Jonathan Pippin, the father and son… or was it grandfather and grandson, that owned the small apothecary.

He knew his gaze betrayed his longing for the rare and really expensive items, but with the Ministry withholding his inheritance and the meagre fee he (personally) was paid as a Hogwarts teacher, it was impossible for him to purchase anything he desired; at least not for another five years until his sentence was up.

He sighed and paid for his newt eyes and the smallest portion of boomslang skin. He was lucky though that Albus had at least vouched for him and he wasn't now rotting in Azkaban; for that he was grateful.

Severus left the shop, so caught up in his musings, he was unaware of confused eyes trained on him from the darkest corner of the shop, and watching him leave.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

After carefully casting a Muffliato around them, as they sat in a corner of The Three Broomsticks, Xhara leant toward Luna as she sipped on a butterbeer.

"I've decided that I'm going to keep courting him… but you're right, I do need to get out there and experience life. You know and have… fun and… whatever."

"That's the spirit," Luna said teasingly as she contemplated the morose look on her friend's face, "but you're not on death row you know."

Xhara didn't tell Luna about what she witnessed in the apothecary; she'd never betrayed his trust and she never would. She had needed ingredients for the extra credit potions and the potions she'd started researching at Uagadou, hence she'd returned to J. Pippin's as an afterthought. Severus was struggling, and as discreetly as she could, she would help him as much as was possible. He couldn't return a rare text or potion ingredient if he didn't know who it was coming from after all.

She had funds gaining interest in a Gringotts vault; a small inheritance from her father, her school winnings from past competitions and profits of sales from private potions and elixirs and amulets she made under a pseudonym. Thanks to Mentor Roh's guidance, by the time she left Hogwarts she was going to be well off, and Sev may never know how much he had influenced most of her decisions.

She hoped her mother would finally agree - if things ever returned to the way they use to be between them - to help, by extending her new muggle herbal shop to include Xhara's own products for squibs and muggle-borns who rarely ventured into the wizarding world.

Maybe one day, if he ever gave her a chance, they could open their own apothecary or even a magickal mall with several types of stores in Diagon Alley or one of the other Wizarding Communities. She snapped out of her musings when Luna waved a hand in front of her face smirking.

"Okay Luna, that's it, smirking is not for you," Xhara grinned playfully, "you're scaring Harry."

Just then, Xhara met Harry's eyes across the room parallel to them and winked, laughing when he turned red; Luna choked on her drink and hid her laugh with coughing.

Ron laughed at his friend's reddened face, Ginny and Hermione looked furious; Ginny because she liked Harry, hated Luna and didn't trust Xhara, Hermione because she considered Luna 'Looney' and not good enough for Harry. She smirked at them both as she sipped her drink.

"See this Luna, watch… you're not looking… now, _this_ is a smirk."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Xhara was walking toward the greenhouses with Daemon for Herbology class. Her classmates walked ahead of her, throwing curious looks behind them as she spoke with Daemon about running with him that morning.

Their stares didn't concern her, she'd become used to people thinking she was weird; but she had been practising silent communication with Daemon as an extra precaution. During their runs in the Forbidden Forest, they often became separated, this way they could connect from miles away without resorting to giving away their positions by making loud sounds.

Without warning her Herbology text fell from her hand, she'd felt the rush of magic that preceded it and placed a calming hand on Daemon's head, preventing him from attacking the culprit.

Xhara noticed Cho Chang and some of her friends pretending not to look her way as they walked toward the lake. She remembered Luna telling her about Harry's crush on the girl about a year or two ago.

She couldn't understand the Cho's thinking, it's not as if she, Cho, liked Harry. Maybe it was the old ' _even if I don't want him you still can't have him_ ' game. With the way she teased him, Xhara knew most of the people who'd observed her doing it thought she liked Harry. If they only knew…

The book had contained loose pieces of parchment with small notes and those had scattered everywhere. With a sigh she began calmly to collect them, ignoring the passing crowd of students that were obviously just leaving Herbology classes themselves.

Someone knelt to help her, and she looked up to find a slender boy with neatly combed black hair gathering the parchments further from her.

Putting them away she walked over to the boy who was taller than she thought and was currently shuffling her notes together neatly. As he gave them to her, she noted that though he was slender, the robustness of his arms was obvious.

"Thanks," she said, looking into gentle brown eyes.

"It's no problem," he said smiling, "is that all of them… um?"

"Xhara," she replied as they shook hands. Sizing him up, she smiled as she thought 'Clark Kent - Wizard' except without the baby blue eyes and glasses.

"Neville Longbottom."

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

"Luna!"

Xhara ran into their dorm room after the last class of the day, 'accidentally' knocking Cho aside as she flew through the common room. She probably lost house points, but she couldn't care less.

"Luna! Neville Longbottom asked me to the ball and I said yes!"

Luna jumped off her bed with a squeal and clapping, a huge smile on her face, "Yay, I'm so glad you're going. Neville is really sweet, we'll have so much fun!"

Xhara looked gobsmacked for a moment before shaking herself, "Oh my god! I don't have anything to wear, I wasn't expecting to go! What am I gonna do?"

She was pulling at her hair when Luna calmly pulled her hands from her head.

"Xhara, you do know we're witches right? Plus we're both great at Charms and Transfiguration, we'll spell some of our old things; besides we bought more than enough stuff for me at Hogsmeade. Just breathe everything will be fine."

"I've never been out with a boy before, do you think he'll want to hold hands, or even _kiss_ me?"

"Relax, Neville grew up with his grandmother, he's a gentleman and it's just a ball for fun. That's all, we're just going to have fun."

"It's just for fun," Xhara repeated, relaxing, "so, all I have to do is act like I'm getting to know a new friend I recently met at a party or something?"

"That sounds about right."

"And he won't kiss me."

"I'm going to go with, 'no'"

Xhara sighed, "Well … that's disappointing. Cuz have you _seen_ those lips and that tilted smile!"

Luna laughed at her outrageous friend. Daemon rolled his eyes from the bed.

"I know who's getting kissed that night though," Xhara sang as she skipped over to the fruit basket for a grape.

She dropped the grape, laughing as she caught Floozy who was tossed by a red-cheeked Luna, "Oh, you poor Floozy… and you too little guy."

With Luna's fake outraged gasp, the puffskein/pillow fight was on.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

The morning of the Masquerade Halloween Ball came, and Xhara woke early, it was still dark and the castle was quiet. She turned her head to find Daemon looking at her and she smiled.

 _ ***Good rising and day of birth.***_

"Good morning Daemon and thank you. Will you run with me?"

 _ ***You don't have to ask. Let's go!***_

"Why don't you get a head start, I'll change into my running clothes and meet you at our spot."

 _ ***Okay.***_

Daemon brushed against her before leaving the room, using their combined magic to open the doors.

On one of their first runs, Xhara had found a quiet and beautiful glade under a canopy of trees. Days later, once she was sure that she was far away from the centaur territories, she'd placed wards around a small part of the Glade creating an outdoor potions station.

She'd conjured into position a giant slab of rock - which she had found some distance away - that she used as a table and a cauldron she could afford to lose just in case anyone was able to break down her wards.

Whenever she wanted to brew she would hang a small leather bag filled with the necessary ingredients around her neck. The bag itself was imbued with the same charms and spells on her torc; it would remain on her animagus form without the transformation affecting it.

Anyone looking at the cheetah would know it wasn't just a wild animal once they saw a torc and/or bag around its neck.

She'd thought of leaving the ingredients in her room and conjuring them from the glade, but decided against it as she was unwilling to drain her magick in the dangerous Forbidden Forest and so far from the school.

If any of the professors ever found out she was running often with Ari in there…

Today, there was one gift she wanted to brew for Sev, something she would need to keep in a dark place for a few months before she gave it to him.

She changed into a tank top and a pair of three-quarter running tights; she placed the bag full of ingredients around her neck before leaving the tower on bare feet. Once out of the castle, she transformed and began her run at a slow lope and once adrenaline kicked in she began her race toward the glade.

By the time Ari ran through the wards of the glade, Xhara was already at the stirring stage of her potion. He jumped onto the large slab of rock in front of her as Daemon and lay flat, his sides heaving.

 _ ***I will never beat you here will I?***_

"No," she replied, stroking his fur absently with one hand while counting her stirs, "no you will not."

 _ ***Hmph, what are you making?***_

Xhara grinned, "A conditioning shampoo for Professor Snape."

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

It was dawn by the time they stepped out of the Forbidden Forest, choosing a path to a shaded corner of the black lake for an early morning swim. The water was cold, but with a few warming charms in the area they bathed, she was able to enjoy a playful yet relaxing bath as Aj'Iya with Ari; whose giant paws splashed waves of water over her when she got too close. The air chorused with their chirps, purrs and growls.

Exhausted from their play she returned to her human form and floated lazily in the gentle waves Ari made as he swam around her. She became aware of Ari's stillness and looked over to see him staring into the Forbidden Forest. She turned but saw nothing out of the ordinary.

"Is something nearby, Ari?" she asked, now standing in the water, knowing that in his form he would see what she could not.

 _ ***I thought … never mind. There is nothing.***_

He returned to playfully swimming and splashing around and she joined him, holding onto him around his neck as he swam around. Minutes later she swam out of the water - her hair and clothes plastered to her body - leaving Ari to enjoy himself in the lake growling at grindylows that came too close to him.

"I'm heading back to our room Ari, don't go too far in there. The giant squid is still bigger than you."

 _ ***I know!***_ He groused before diving beneath the water.

She stared uneasily into the Forbidden Forest one last time before casting a drying charm on herself and returning to the castle.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

 **A/N - I know next to nothing of math or science. You'll see why I mention this.**

"Happy birthday!"

Xhara had just finished tying her recently washed, oiled and creamed curls into a pineapple atop her head, so was surprised to look up and find Luna holding out a colourfully wrapped present to her.

With a blinding smile, she took the box in both hands, surprised at the weight. Sitting on her bed she placed the box next to her and carefully pulled the ribbon to open it.

All four sides of the box fell flat to reveal a beautifully crafted porcelain magickal animal, the colours reminiscent of flames, though she did not know what type of animal it could be.

It had the full and long, sleek tail of a horse, the body of a feline and the head which was slim with a long muzzle, reminded her of the representation of the Ancient Egyptian god Anubis.

Standing she pulled her friend into a hug. "Thank you, Luna, it's beautiful!"

It really was beautiful, despite not knowing what it was and Xhara had memorised many of _those_ creatures.

"I worked on this all those mornings when you go for a run with Ari. It glows in the dark and changes colour according to your moods."

Holding the sixteen-inch statue in her hands, she stared at it in awe. It stood on its back legs, it's tail brushing the ground; it's front paws in mid-air and it's muzzle tilted toward the sky. She had to ask.

"Luna, what type of animal is this?"

"It's a Heliopath, a spirit of fire which sprints and burns anything in its path." Misunderstanding Xhara's thoughtful look, she continued, "I have seen them but it's okay if you don't believe me, most people don't."

Xhara sighed and placed her gift on the nightstand and gestured for Luna to join her by their study area. Pulling a blank piece of parchment to her and using a self-refilling quill, she made a few quick sketches before sliding the parchment over to Luna.

"This is a Blibbering Humdinger and a Nargle… a Crumple-Horned Snorkack!" Luna looked up at Xhara, her silver-grey eyes shining hopefully, "you can see them?"

Xhara shook her head, "No, I can't."

She hadn't wanted to reveal the things she knew to Luna, in fact, she was warned never to divulge this information to outsiders, but seeing the hope fade from her best friend's eyes and her slumped shoulders made Xhara's chest hurt.

Besides, when she really thought about it, Luna already knew (somewhat) but was labelled as 'Looney' unfairly. And Xhara had never made any vows, unbreakable or not.

"Luna, there's a ninety-nine percent chance that you will never meet anyone who's seen these creatures."

"My mum has been telling me about them since I was little. She's seen them!"

"While that is possible, the chances are small that your mother has actually ever seen them." She motioned for Luna to listen as she was about to interrupt.

"Only one in five thousand Magis have the ability to see interdimensional creatures or beings. It's not an ability that's inherited, no one knows how it's developed. Mentor Roh believed that it's not something the Magi is conceived with, but that it's something that mutates their DNA. Maybe something in the atmosphere, certain spells or potions during pregnancy. Like I said, no one knows for sure."

Tears marked Luna's face, but she seemed to be listening intently to what Xhara was saying. So she continued, though tentatively.

"I'm guessing when you were little and you pointed out what you saw, your mother… named them for you. It's unknown what these creatures are called, and there are many of them Mentor Roh had me memorise, this Heliopath is one I probably forgot about. You're the second person I've ever met that has this ability to see these interdimensional creatures and my former mentor is really ancient."

"And my daddy?" she choked out.

Xhara could feel the tears burning behind her eyes and she bit her lips.

"When my dad passed away, my mum couldn't function for weeks. She started trying to do all the things he did for me, and then she found out…" she paused to clear her throat, "anyway, we're not as close as we used to be. Mum couldn't be what my dad was to me. What I'm saying is, your dad just wants you happy Luna, you lost your mother and he did what he could to keep you happy and connected to her. Luna, I'm so sorry."

Her voice broke when she realised that maybe she should have eased into her explanations instead of telling Luna all of this in one sitting.

"Thank you for telling me Xhara," she stood, wiping tears away, "I'm going to rest before we start getting ready for later."

Xhara nodded, tears on her face as she watched her friend curl on her bed and pull Floozy to her, leaving her wondering if she had made the right decision, and how was it possible to fuck up her own birthday?


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Three hours before the ball that evening, Luna was back in good spirits, and excited about the charms and spells Xhara was placing on her blonde locks. At first, she still seemed a bit sad and Xhara apologised again for burdening her with the knowledge of her rare ability all at once.

"Don't apologise Xhara, I needed to know and I am grateful. It's just… I wonder what my daddy really thinks of me and how hard life must have been for him and my mum having a child like me. I just feel terrible now for what I unintentionally put them through."

That was all she said on the subject before encouraging Xhara to help with the charms as the costume she wore was a muggle tv character, someone she would not know.

By five that afternoon, two hours before the ball, Luna had long flowing straight black hair that stopped just above her buttocks. Clad in a skin-tight black hobble gown, with fringes of thick octopus-like cloth "tentacles" at the lower hem, she charmed them to move with Luna's steps.

To make it appear as if she floated instead of walked, a charm was cast which made it seem as though fog emanated from below her. Xhara did Luna's eye makeup in a dark smoky look, her lipstick a blood red, the only other colour she wore. To complete the costume, as it was a masked ball, Luna wore a black filigree mask.

"When are you gonna take off your mask to let him see you?"

"I was thinking at the end of the ball or whenever we decide to call it a night," Luna replied, her voice magickally disguised. It was slightly deeper, huskier and went well with her costume.

"Now for your costume; will you be matching Neville?"

"No, we didn't talk about costumes, he just said he'd meet me at the entrance to the Great Hall. Why? What's wrong?" she asked when she saw Luna fiddling with her wand a sign she was worried.

"Neville is a really great guy, but he's still a bit awkward around others and he was raised in ancient pureblood traditions. He won't know anything about the kind of costumes half-bloods and muggle-borns introduced to the wizarding world." She sat on her bed facing Xhara.

"I wasn't raised as strictly as Neville was and I didn't know about her," she continued, gesturing to her costumed body, "I saw Neville a few days ago and he told me that he was coming to the ball as a Mimbulus Mimbletonia."

"A WHAT! Oh my god Luna, you're telling me this now! Okay, we have to hurry, you know how cruel some of those Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Slytherins… and everybody can be. Help me with my costume and then you go meet Harry, no it's okay, I can fix Neville's costume in no time."

The costume Xhara chose was one of her favourite X-Men. She had Luna Charm the colour of her wash-n-go into pure white curls; her eyes, she Charmed to white as well even though she knew that Storm's eyes only got that way when she used her powers.

Her clothes, a simple black blouse and pants, she transfigured into a white leather bustier and slim fitted leather pants over which she zipped up a pair of knee-high three-inch heeled boots also turned white.

Finally, she transfigured one of her plain robes into a white cape attached at her wrists and the extra mask Luna had bought, into a solid white, 'diamond' studded piece that covered the upper half of her face.

She wore no makeup but for some lipgloss and dark eyeliner and slipped a pair of pearl studs in her ear. The inscribed stone on her torc she left as is, but the torc itself she transfigured into a flat white metal that hugged her neck. She swallowed a Magick Replenishing potion for her major use of magick then and for later with Neville.

Allowing Daemon to grow to a bigger size and stopping at the height of her hips, she transfigured his fur to give him the appearance of a snow leopard.

It was her birth night after all and she planned to have some fun.

"Okay Luna, we don't want any of our housemates tipping Harry off about his date for the night until you're ready; use an invisibility charm and I'll tell everyone you're not going then when you get to a quiet corridor just end it."

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Xhara didn't go with Luna to meet Harry, that would have given away Luna's identity, instead, she took the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. She got there only to be told that Neville had already left for the Great Hall.

"Whoa, look at the cool leopard. Who's she anyway," she heard the whispers behind her but didn't stop. She'd forgotten that not everyone knew what Daemon really looked like, or what he was yet.

Ignoring the stares of everyone as she strode with Daemon Ari at her side, she went to the entrance of the Great Hall but didn't see Neville. Xhara peeked into the decorated hall, but didn't find him among the few students that were already there and she smiled at the couple standing a distance away from the others.

Harry wore a dark pinstripe suit with a black bow-tie and his hair was - surprisingly - slicked back; he even wore a pencil mustache and a black mask covering just his eyes. Wow, Potter went all out on his costume.

Satisfied that Morticia and Gomez Addams seemed to be getting to know each other, Xhara exited the Great Hall concerned. Where was Neville Longbottom?

Not used to meeting up with boys, she was unsure of what to do and plucked at her torc. Should she go look for him?

*If he stood you up I will find him and bite him.*

She chuckled nervously, she knew Ari was only half serious.

"I'm gonna go look for him, and no biting Ari."

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Half an hour had passed and there was still no sign of her date.

Two boys in costume passed her in the corridors laughing amongst themselves, "Did you see him, he looks ridiculous. Why doesn't he just give up? She's too good for him anyway."

Xhara shook her head in disgust at their words. Deciding to sit for a while, she went to have a seat among the rose bushes in the indoor courtyard.

She was near the entrance when she heard a shrill voice that made her stop and conceal herself in the darkened corner of a statue. The marble sculpture turned its head to look down at her before returning to its quiet surveillance.

"Why don't you chase after that Ravenclaw girl that keeps flirting with anything male, and leave me alone?"

"She's not flirting with Harry or anyone else for that matter," the boy replied, his voice quivered slightly, "Harry likes Luna so she just teases them. I think she's really nice."

"Whatever! Like I said, chase after her! I don't care that your 'Ancient Spells of the House of Longbottom', or whatever you call it, think we're meant to be together. I love Harry and I know once he sees Looney for the lunatic she is, he'll come right back to me."

"How can you say these things about Luna, I thought you considered her a friend?" The voice was now solemn and strangely, no longer shook.

Xhara peeked around the corner and saw Ginny dressed in a 'greek goddess' costume sneering at Neville in revulsion.

"After fourth-year, I noticed how she used her weirdness to get Harry's attention, and I saw her for what she was. I heard she's not coming and I better not see the clueless idiot at the ball."

Ginny turned to leave the courtyard, but turned back briefly, "And what are you wearing anyway? You look ridiculous"

Xhara watched the redhead stomp away, her fingers itching to curse the foolish girl to bits.

 ***What a BITCH!***

 **:** **Yes... yes she is:**

She projected the thoughts to Daemon Ari, not wanting Neville to know that she'd heard the girl's insults.

Xhara peeked into the courtyard to see Neville sitting on a bench, his head in his hands as he hunched over. Her mind immediately replayed one of the times her soul went to Sev, remembering him being hunched over like this in front of her.

Had Lily been as mean to Sev as Ginny had been to Neville? It would explain why he'd always seemed confused around her at times! But then, why not just end their friendship?

Her heart ached for Neville, and she decided there and then to help him get over Ginevra Weasley. Plastering a smile on her face she waltzed into to the courtyard.

"There you are, Neville! I've been looking all over for you."

Neville looked up at her, his face masked in misery.

"It's alright Xhara, I know you heard everything. Your fragrance is unique, a blend of four flowers and one other that I can't place."

She bit her lower lip as her face heated, and loosely held onto her upper arm as she slowed to stand in front of him. Daemon Ari went to lay on the grass some distance away.

"I'm so sorry Neville, I didn't mean…"

"No, it's fine. I'm glad someone else heard, that way I don't fool myself into thinking I made up the things she said to me."

Xhara joined him on the bench hoping her quiet presence would give him some comfort. The courtyard was quiet except for a few frogs and crickets chirping in the rose bushes and Neville's costume that pulsed and crooned eerily on its own.

"I thought I could love her no matter what, you know; I thought that she and I being soulmates would be enough for her to love me back. Now I know that I was wrong… on both accounts."

The music started in the Great Hall and Xhara knew she would not leave him like this.

"Can I tell you a secret Neville?" As he looked at her with his sad eyes and nodded, she continued, "I found my soulmate when I was seven years old; I didn't know what he was to me until only a few weeks ago. But I have loved him since I was twelve."

Xhara sighed and looked down at her leather pants, plucking at the seam.

"Luna told me, and she's not wrong, that I should try dating other guys until I'm old enough for him, but I'm still scared. He's a thirty-five-year-old man now and I can tell you, with as much understanding of your situation as possible, that he may never look at me or love me the way I love him," she swiped at her tears, "I'm just a sixteen-year-old girl and he's the most honorable man I've ever met who's been handed the shittiest cards life had to offer."

Tears were falling faster now and they wouldn't stop no matter how many she brushed away from her mask. She tried to hold in her sobs, she was trying to make Neville feel better after all; boy did she suck at it, first Luna and now Neville! She lay her head on his soft cactus covered chest when he pulled her to him, crying softly.

The cactus pulsed against her face then crooned in her ear, startling her and she giggled huskily, "I'm supposed to be making you feel better and here I am crying all over you."

"You have, Xhara, and I have to say, he would be a fool to walk away from you when you turn seventeen."

She looked up with a smile as he brushed the tears from the corner of her lips; he was looking down at her, his face close as she was still leaning into him. Their eyes met and a mutual understanding sparked between them.

He leaned in and their lips just touched when Daemon Ari growled. Goo squirted from the Mimbulus Mimbletonia and into the bushes away from them, and they jumped apart chuckling.

If Xhara had looked to the entrance of the courtyard, she would have seen the tail end of a billowing black cloak. Instead, she'd begun Transfiguring Neville's costume at his request.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

The couple walked into the crowded Great Hall an hour after the ball had started and everyone wondered who the tall, muscled guy next to her was; gazing in wonder at the snow leopard, and the illusion of jagged white lines of electric power that emanated from the corner of her eyes for the next few minutes.

Neville's costume was a replica of the marvel superhero Hawkeye, black leather sleeveless body armour and pants; black high-cut combat boots and instead of making a mask to pull over his head, she'd transfigured the top part of the cactus into a pair of black shades, it's shape suited Neville's features and she charmed them to allow him to see clearly. She had even transfigured his hair to look shorter with a spiky peak at the front.

He'd held her hand in his when they were exiting the courtyard and she'd looked up at him questioningly as they stopped.

"I know that we're both still in love with other people, and we probably always will be no matter how much we try to bury those feelings, but I was wondering," and here he returned to stammering, looking gorgeous in his bad-ass leather costume, "if maybe you… you'd be o-okay with us being together for a-a while."

She smiled shyly up at him through her white curls, "I'd like that."

Thus she entered the Great Hall as Neville's girl (more like friends with emotional and minor physical benefits). For now.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Severus slammed his way out of the Headmaster's office and stalked toward the Great Hall to help oversee the foolish masquerade ball Albus had authorised. He'd been leaving the quarters he had retained as Potions Master, when Slughorn waylaid him in the corridors and asked to speak with him privately.

Apparently, his old professor wanted to return to his retirement due to the aches and pains that had snuck up on him within the few months he's been here at Hogwarts. Slughorn had informed him that he, Severus, would be returning to the dungeons as Potions Professor from the next term on Albus's orders.

Hence his leaving the Headmaster's office in anger and disappointment after going to the man himself for confirmation.

Blast that lazy, good-for-nothing excuse for a professor! And blast that damned curse that still had a hold on the Defence position!

Even though Potter had killed the Dark Lord for good in the Ministry last year, the curse still remained, Bill Weasley was now researching a way to break it.

Severus stormed toward the Great Hall, intent on taking as many points and giving as many detentions as possible. He was nearing the courtyard a small distance from the Great Hall when he heard voices.

He could not hear what was being said, but as he got nearer, it sounded like someone crying.

Ahh, a dunderhead to punish for being out of bounds… well, not really tonight because of the ball, but it will have to do.

"... he would be a fool to walk away from you when you turn seventeen."

Stepping closer to the entrance stealthily, he recognised Mr Longbottom in a ridiculous looking costume, and the boy was gazing into the face of a girl dressed in white.

In fact, her entire ensemble was white, even her long, thick and curly hair; it blended well with her dark-honey-coloured skin.

Was that the Ravenclaw girl… Miss Diya?

What was Longbottom doing?

It was sudden and unexpected, like the one and only time his mother had stepped between him and Tobias; the time James Potter had sent him an invitation to his and Lily's wedding; when Potter's son, _so_ like him, had violated Severus' privacy and entered his Pensieve.

The curse was already on his mind as he wandlessly and silently cast. A low growl distracted him, and Longbottom's cactus costume spewed goo from the small graze of the cutting hex Severus had been aiming at the boy's throat.

Their laughter broke through the haze of violence that had clouded his mind, and he recoiled in horror. He had almost killed Longbottom! His wild gaze met that of the Nundu prepared to attack should he hurt the girl and he whirled away to the Great Hall.

He had almost killed a student! He swallowed thickly. Hopefully, Albus hadn't detected his use of the curse. God, anything but that!

Something had triggered his violent emotions and reactions, and he didn't have the luxury of giving up this patrol and returning to his rooms; he refused to watch over these dunderheads during the Yuletide season!

He would stay away from Longbottom and Miss Diya.

The dark and crowded hall would keep them from his sight, and he could think without being observed by the other professors. His hands still shaking, he entered the Great Hall and found a corner near the professors punch bowl - _please let it be spiked_ \- to hide in.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Neville and Xhara sat at a corner table, students in costume - some too outrageous to name - jostled them as the hall was packed, but the two were so absorbed in their conversation they hardly noticed.

Xhara told Neville about her and Luna's decision to woo their chosen males and he laughed when she told him about a singing plant Luna had sent to Harry.

"I remember those plants, I had one growing up. It helps you sleep at night by humming lullabies while releasing an odourless sleeping aid," Neville was quiet for a moment, then said, "yeah, I can see why she sent it, Harry must have nightmares after last year."

"I didn't know about the lullabies… now I'm thinking if it's worth it for me to send one to… _him_ , he can be a bit cranky," she knew that was an understatement but Neville didn't know who her soulmate was.

"You should, they do help," he paused as he collected their empty glasses, "I'm gonna get us more drinks."

Xhara nodded and looked around for Luna and Harry when he left. She wondered if Luna was able to keep up the mask or if she told Harry who she was yet. She spotted her friend when Neville had returned with their drinks.

"Neville," he heard the note of worry in her voice even over the loud music, "Luna." He looked over to where she pointed. Without a word, he grabbed her hand as they pushed through the crowd toward the lone seated figure.

 _ ***I'm going back to the courtyard, so yell if you need me. This place is too crowded and I might bite the next person that steps on my tail.***_

 _:Do you want to become Daemon so I can hold you?:_

 _ ***Nah, I'm enjoying being this big tonight, plus there are some frogs in the courtyard, I don't know where they're coming from but they make a great snack***_

 _:God I hope those aren't pets:_ she sighed, _:I'll call you when I'm leaving:_

 _ ***Don't do anything with that boy you'll regret***_ he huffed, stalking out of the hall.

She looked down at her hand linked with Neville's and she blushed as she remembered their near kiss. It was a strange way of thinking but she felt like… a girl, a normal hormonal teenaged girl.

She was smiling when they got to Luna's table but quickly frowned when Luna told them that Harry had been taken away by his friends half an hour before and hadn't bothered to return.

Xhara looked around but she didn't see the Idiot-Who-Still-Lived anywhere around, he must be in the crowd of dancing students as most of them were on the dance floor. She turned back to Luna and she heard Neville encouraging her.

"Harry likes you, Luna, he didn't tell me himself but it's obvious to anyone who knows him," he gave her hand a small squeeze, "Harry's a lot like me when it comes to girls, don't give up Luna he'll come around once he knows you return his feelings. Xhara and I will go get him away from the vipers."

"You're right Neville but I'm coming with you guys. It's time I stop hiding." Luna banished her mask and held onto Xhara's hand as all three snaked through the dancing bodies of students with Neville in the lead.

Xhara turned to Luna as Neville, still clutching her hand, pulled her through the crowd, "Are you sure you're ready for Harry to know Luna? People are going to start talking."

"I don't mind anymore," Luna yelled over the increasingly loud music, "at least this will be something different, instead of my 'Looney' ways."

It was hard to argue with that logic, especially with the music getting louder and Xhara returned to searching for Harry. Her eyes passed over a darkened corner near the professors' table and her heart skipped a beat as black, glittering eyes bored into her. She looked back but there was no one there and she shook herself for her foolish imagination.

They found Harry cornered by Ginny in her goddess costume and Hermione wearing a typical 'hag witch' costume, wart and all. How original for… what do they call her… oh yeah, the brightest witch of her age. Xhara guessed that probably meant all the sixth years were mediocre students.

That couldn't be true though because there were a few sixth year Ravenclaws that could present reasons and debate about many a subject, unlike Granger whose only shining glory was regurgitating information from a book she'd read word for word.

His friend Ron, dressed as a werewolf, was staring at a blond fairy that resembled Lavender Brown, one of the girls in the running for Best Female Costume tonight. The redhead looked ready to go over and talk to the girl, but Ginny and Hermione wanted his help to make Harry stay put and away from his unidentified date.

"Stay behind Neville, Luna,"Xhara said, close to her friend's ear and pushed between the girls - ignoring their outraged gasps - to come face to face with Harry. None of them paid any attention to Neville who was still on the edge of the crowd.

"Hi Harry," she said smiling and with a wink, "nice costume."

His face reddened and she saw his eyes look passed her, she guessed for Luna.

"I don't think we've ever been introduced, officially. I'm Xhara," they shook hands as he replied with his name, "good, now that we've gotten that out of the way."

She leant in close to him, grabbing his lapel as she spoke in his ear.

"Did no one ever tell you that it's rude to ignore your date for stupid reasons like pshh… I don't know… jealous friends?"

"I-I'm sorry?"

Xhara rolled her eyes as she continued, ignoring Ginny's pointed glares, "You hurt my friend's feeling Potter and I'm gonna need you to make it up to her."

She leant back to look at his face but it was a complete blank. _Gryffindors!_

"Do I really need to spell it out for you _Gomez_?"

Huh … uh ... oh wait, thh-there it is! A light turned on … finally!

"You mean…?"

"Yes, she's over there behind Neville, go!"

She sighed, "Neville's the hot, muscled guy right there," she said dryly when Potter looked around; for a cactus no doubt.

He went over to Neville, "Wow Neville, " he began, obviously embarrassed, "I guess Voldemort chose poorly…"

"Yeah, yeah," she said, pulling Neville away, "you can ask about his hotness later."

To his credit, Harry stopped listening when his eyes fell on Luna, whose cheeks began to pinken as his gaze lingered.

Cue a slow song…

Xhara and Neville smiled at each other.

"I was really hoping it was you when I got the singing plant," Harry said as he walked toward her.

Luna chuckled and was as surprised as everyone else when Harry pulled her to him and tilted her to his left for a lingering kiss.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

The rest of the night passed pleasantly, beginning with Ginny storming off to her common room in anger, Ron went in search of Lavender and Hermione decided to return to their common room as well, not wanting to be a boring third wheel for either of her friends.

The two couples slow danced for most of the night, even to the fast paced Wizard Rock. After a while, the boys went to get drinks and Luna hugged Xhara tightly.

"Thank you for being my friend,"

"No Luna, not now, you're gonna make me cry and I should be thanking you," she replied, both still hugging, then laughing.

"Is the night about to get better?" Harry teased as they quickly returned with their drinks.

"Yes, it is," Luna replied and Xhara stared at her friend with a raised eyebrow.

"Happy Birthnight!" All three yelled and suddenly, the night sky in the Great Hall Exploded with Filibuster Fireworks spelling out 'Happy Sixteenth Birthday Xharadia!'

Her eyes watered as she looked up - her father's nickname for her - it exploded then with bright blue and gold colours. The others hugged her, wishing her a happy birth-night again, ignoring the oohs and ahhs of the students around them.

They ended the night with a stroll by the lake and there were nothing and no one around to stop Neville from kissing her this time as he pulled her body to him and lifted her off her feet. Throwing caution to the wind she wrapped her arms around his neck and revelled in his kiss. A short distance away Harry and Luna had the same idea.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

The next morning, thankfully a Saturday, Xhara woke groggily to Luna staring down at her eerily, before blinding her still sleepy friend with a bright smile.

"So… you and Neville?"

Xhara glowered at her, slowly pulling the pillow over her head.

Luna giggled unconcerned, humming as she went to use the bathroom. Xhara took a few more minutes to wake up, rolling to her stomach and sighing as she remembered Neville's kiss last night.

"I can feel your smile from here!" Luna yelled through the open door to the bath.

"Oh no, you can't!" Xhara sat up rubbing her eyes and yawning, "That was just a good guess."

"How does it feel to be sixteen?" Luna asked, coming from the bath, "My sixteenth will be in February."

"Well, it's one year closer to seventeen," she replied with a shrug.

"I'm guessing you can't wait to become of age so you can reveal yourself to him. I heard that the men become more possessive and… _you know_ … at that time. Do you think that's true?"

Xhara looked away guiltily.

"Yeah, it's true. The first time I read that I freaked out." She admitted this has hugging her pillow fiercely. "The thought of a man wanting me like that is terrifying."

Luna noticed that she said _is_ and not _was_ and not _going to_. She knew exactly how Xhara felt; she only began feeling this way about Harry last night. But Harry was still a boy compared to a thirty-five-year-old Severus Snape.

"Well, if you're still too scared when you turn seventeen and you're of age, you won't have to approach him at all. The male is the one who senses his soulmate and courts _her_ \- unless of course he's already married or in a relationship with another woman - not the other way around."

Luna stopped when she saw confusion and fear war on her friend's face. "What's…"

"Luna I have another secret to tell you."

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

A few nights later she was in Astronomy class. Ari was hunting in the Forbidden Forest and Xhara couldn't help but observe Professor Sinistra covertly while pretending to look into her telescope. Daemon was usually her eyes for these things.

The professor had been throwing her cautious, sometimes angry looks and gazing at the window that overlooked the lake with something close to horror and - Xhara threw up a little in her mouth at the sight - lust.

She'd read all of her mum's romance novels! She knew what that look meant.

Also for some reason, Professor Sinistra was limping and couldn't sit still for long moments. After thirty minutes of class, the professor decided to end their session early, assigning them a simple star chart to fill in for the next class.

While everyone was packing up their equipment and leaving, Xhara remained behind as she usually did after Astronomy classes. It was cool and quiet up here on the tower and sometimes she was able to finish other school work before leaving for her dorm room.

"Miss Diya," Professor Sinistra interrupted her star gazing softly, "I know you usually stay behind but I won't be able to allow you to do so tonight I'm headed back to my quarters to rest and I can't allow you to be up here now that it's after curfew."

"It's okay professor and I'm sorry, I did notice that you seemed to be in pain, I wasn't thinking."

Xhara packed up her things and was leaving when she thought of something and stopped. Turning from the doorway she searched her bag and pulled out a tiny phial with a light blue liquid that seemed to shine with gold flecks.

"Professor, would you like to be one of my test subjects?" At Sinistra's questioning look, she handed her the phial.

"I'm creating a healing potion for extra credit so that I'd be allowed into Alchemy classes. I know there are a few potions like that out there but I wanted to create something that works like Phoenix tears; instantly and in drops. This is the smallest amount I've been able to get it to work at so far and it does work, Luna, Neville and I have tried it more than once and we're still alive so that's good."

Professor Sinistra stared at the hypnotically beautiful potion in distrust. Most potions that glittered with gold-like flecks were usually advanced potions and dangerous to brew. Besides, the concentration of the ingredients in this incredibly tiny potion phial must be of dangerous proportions.

Xhara guessed the reason for Sinistra's hesitation and hid her disappointment.

"It's okay professor, never mind, it was wrong of me to ask," she said, holding her hand out for her precious phial, she should have known better than to ask a Hogwarts professor for help.

She missed Mentor Roh!

The professor was giving her a typical excuse any professor would spout when a low, sneering tone cut into Sinistra's rambling.

"Now, now Professor, we should be encouraging the little ones to better themselves. Isn't that what a certain someone, we shall not name, once said to me?"

Xhara turned to see Professor Snape glide forward from the darkness of the doorway behind him.

He took the phial from Sinistra and held it up to the meagre lighting, usually turned off during class, observing its contents.

"The gold flecks indicate that it has reached a stage where it is safe for both oral and topical consumption. You also have proof that it is non-poisonous, she and her friends have consumed it and - as Miss Diya says - they're all still alive."

He unstoppered the phial and handed it back to Sinistra, "For the 'little ones' Professor, besides, _I'm_ right here should anything go awry."

Xhara was barely listening; he was so close to her, his own unique fragrance attested that he'd been brewing recently himself. His voice had gotten so deep in the years since that time in the library and it was obvious that it was now a tool he used toward his colleagues and students.

In the few seconds it took for Sinistra to tip the potion back into her mouth, Xhara looked up at him and time screeched to a halt; he was looking back.

His eye were dark pools of liquid black onyx, hiding a dark bottomless pit. Was there a question in his eyes? She didn't know, he was no longer open to her as he used to be and damn It! She didn't know how to shield herself from him, she never could, had never wanted to; but now…

"Good night professors," she didn't bother waiting for Sinistra's diagnosis, she would find out the next day. Tearing her eyes away from his, she quickly retreated.

She was still descending the stairs when she heard him wish the professor a good night - sound carried in the stairwell - and looked forward to seeing her… later.

Oh god! She felt her breath catch in her throat, she was not going to cry, not now! He was gonna be close behind her for the next few corridors. She sped up her pace.

Did he ever perfect his Legilimency? His Occlumency was mastered if his emotionless eyes were anything to go by. He had never wanted to practice on _Lily's_ thoughts, the sensation was said to be … disturbing … to some. Would she know if he'd entered her own mind?

She felt a spot on the back of her neck tingle and knew he was somewhere behind her in the darkened… and… lonely corridors.

 _Stop thinking like that damn it! Severus Snape has always been a gentleman, even as a boy!_

Xhara felt an odd sensation to run and had to force herself to continue her fast-paced strides and calm her rapid breathing. She wished she could hear his footsteps but one thing she remembered about him as a child - he'd liked to sneak up on her at times - is that he had always been stealthy.

One more corridor, _just one more_ and he would go down the steps to return to his rooms in the dungeons, while she would continue on to the next floor to get to Ravenclaw tower.

Finally, they got to the fifth-floor corridor - there, now she didn't have to make an utter fool of herself and run crying to her room - she slowed her pace as she thought of the way he'd goaded Professor Sinistra then ordered her to his room tonight. At least that was what it had sounded like, an order.

There was clearly something between them and she felt like the 'little one' he'd called her, for her jealousy.

She was the one who had chosen to be with Neville until they both got over their hurt feelings concerning their significant soulmates. Technically, she and Neville were keeping each other's hearts warm until the time came for them to just remain friends.

Who was she to be jealous when he had been lonely and pining over _Lily_ for years?

She wished Harry didn't talk about Sev's personal memories so freely, it was getting harder not to snap at him for Luna's sake. At least her friend said she'd have a chat with him about that.

That's another thing! Did he now know that she had sent him the two gifts he's received so far? The last two gifts had been a green and black Fwooper feather quill and then an antique inkwell.

She hadn't sent Sev as many gifts as Luna had to Harry but everyone knew that Luna had been courting him; Harry had been sweetly bragging to his friends and proudly showing off his gifts and his girl. Even the professors had been charmed by the sight of the two in the Great Hall, Sev had rolled his eyes at them.

Had he put two and two together yet? Is that why he'd been staring at her for the past couple of days? Should she stop sending him gifts?

She didn't want to, she loved giving him things, especially if she knew he needed them. It's one thing that she knew would never change when it came to him.

She was pulled from her musings by the end of a riddle from the eagle knocker, she went to ask it to repeat itself.

"Silence."

She squealed and spun around just as the common room door opened to the answered question.

Professor Snape had been walking silently behind her the whole way. Her heart was racing and her hand pressed to her chest really wasn't helping, especially when he arched an eyebrow at her reaction.

Does he know what that arched eyebrow does to a girl?

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Professor, I didn't realise you were behind me."

" _Obviously_ … It _is_ after curfew Miss Diya, did you think I would allow a female student to walk these halls alone at night?" He spun on his heels as he swept down into the dark of the stairwell, uninterested in her response.

She stood for a moment pondering his actions when his voice echoed from the shadows.

"Ten points from Ravenclaw for being out after curfew." She opened her mouth to argue the unfairness, "Should I take twenty more?"

Her eyes widened and she flew into her common room and looked back into the darkness before the door closed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Severus lounged on his sofa, sipping on a fine Dragon Barrel Brandy Winky had procured for him a week ago. He didn't ask where she got it and she didn't provide any explanations, that House Elf was turning into a Slytherin's dream help.

His magical clock chimed two a.m. but all he did was sigh and slouched even deeper into the sofa cushions behind him.

Half an hour or so ago, Aurora had raced out of his quarters the moment he'd allowed her to leave and still he was on edge. He was frustrated and quick to anger; in his animagus form, he ripped his prey to pieces. He felt as if he was risking his life as a Death Eater all over again.

The worst part was his sex drive. He needed - no, _need_ was a word too insipid to describe what he felt - he was starved for it, and no matter how much he spent himself on Aurora it wouldn't go away. She wanted to end their … arrangement ... before, he would have rejoiced at being rid of her, but he could not let Aurora end this, not yet.

The alternative scared him… _him,_ Severus Snape, a man who despised being called a coward, needed to act like one by keeping an unwanted female around.

His empty glass shattered against the wall as he began to pace. How dare she? How dare this girl upset his almost normal life! Never in all his years after Lily and as a Death Eater, has he ever looked sideways at young girls or students and now he was practically foaming at the mouth when he was near _her_.

Ever since he'd witnessed her and Longbottom's near kiss in the courtyard, his attraction and obsession for this girl had grown. He'd admired her intelligence and the wit she dared to show in his classes, but it had never been more than that.

He was not a pervert - _unless Aurora requested it_ \- or a lech! What the hell was happening to him?

Aurora had suggested that the girl may be his soulmate but he dismissed that idea, she was too young for him to even sense her in such a way. It must be a potion or a spell someone has used against him; maybe a Death Eater still at large? Someone who wants him gone from the school?

It wasn't the girl, she seemed terrified of him as she should be. If she had only known the thoughts racing through his mind as he'd stalked her through the corridors tonight.

 _Please Lord… Lady… Whoever… Whatever? Make it wear off quickly, I'm begging!_

She only just turned sixteen, if Albus ever found out about these… _needs_ he had for a young student, he would be kicked out of Hogwarts and might even lose the inheritance awaiting him.

He was already struggling, he refused to allow some chit to rob him of the full happiness and freedom so near at hand. Five more years, just five more and he could do as he pleased.

 _One more year and she would be of age; I could do as I please to her._

 _Fuck! ... ! … Damn it!_

 _This isn't helping!_

But it was a promising thought, he tapped a finger against his lips, he just had to get through one year; _but then what, genius? Do you even know how to court a girl that young? She might not even want you…_

God, his mind hated him!

Then a memory arose of bright, hazel coloured eyes as she searched for him from the darkness of her common room… maybe, just maybe one year from now he would actually be lucky to have a worthy female.

He frowned, poor Aurora, maybe he should leave her to Kingsley who actually seemed to be in love with her.

Hmmm… Poor Kingsley!

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

The next month passed quickly for Xhara. She had swiftly picked up the rhythm of Hogwarts and was doing well in her studies.

So well in fact, that she was given a Mock O.W.L. Test by her Head of House. As a result of her high scores, she was going to be allowed to do her O.W.L. exams with the fifth years. By next September she would be advancing to her sixth-year classes as she would have been if she'd continued at Uagadou.

Her healing potion - now an elixir - was coming along well by the end of November and only a teaspoon of it was needed to heal fully. What had started out as a minor healing potion, was now rivalling two of the magickal world's best healing essences.

Professor Slughorn had invited her to one of his Slug Club meetings and let slip that Professor Snape was returning to the position as Potions tutor next term and she wanted her creation to be perfect by then.

She'd heard that Professor Snape only allowed the best into his N.E.W.T.S. and the top five students in his Alchemy classes. This elixir would get her there she just knew it; an elixir that was almost as perfect as Phoenix tears or Unicorn Blood! He may even accept her as an apprentice… if she begged nicely.

He'd stopped paying any kind of attention to her, in fact, he treated her like any other student now. Sneering and making snide comments or just blatantly ignoring her. There was one memory of an incident in the Restricted Section that still made her heart race, not that she was against what had happened, but because of what the Bonding was doing to him, and she was to blame for his torment.

Xhara had thought, after the night he'd walked her to her common room, that maybe he'd sensed their bond; now she knew he had and his decision had been to court another woman. She wondered if he would perform either of the cutting ceremonies, but chided herself; Severus had suffered enough, if he wanted their bond severed later she would do it in a heartbeat. For him.

He was often with Professor Sinistra in public; not so blatantly that any other student would notice, but she had heard - through Daemon - that the other professors were whispering about them. There was a talk of them courting publicly soon, even the word 'marriage' was thrown about.

She had never had any more dreams of him in the future, nor did she try to visit. His past was now completely blocked from her as well. Her heart already broken, she knew this was for the best.

When she had heard about all the things Sev had experienced - from Harry of course - after she stopped going to him in his fifth year, she had wanted to go back and find some way to be near him during his spying days.

It wasn't meant to be. From her own observation of the time he spent with the Astronomy professor, Severus Snape would soon no longer be an option for her. Unknown to Luna, who'd been on cloud nine ever since she and Harry started courting publicly, Xhara cried herself to sleep behind the bed closures almost every night.

Daemon comforted her as much as possible during those times and thankfully the barrier that prevented him from sensing her emotions was firmly in place. He still wanted to confront Sev though, but she firmly forbid him from harming the man she loved nor the woman he chose to be with.

Her only hope was that the Yuletide season would bring relief. Winky told her that Professor Snape would be going home for those two weeks and she immediately decided to remain at Hogwarts to work on her elixir - she was still stumped about what she should call it - and the potions she needed to brew for the hospital wing for extra credit.

Since Neville and Luna would be gone as well, she would use the free time to brush up on her studies for the O.W.L. exams. She was actually looking forward to some alone time; she never thought that she would miss the solitary life she'd had at Uagadou.

Not that Xhara wanted her two friends gone, she loved them both, but being alone was one of her self-healing practices and she needed it.

She was currently wrapping the presents that she got for Luna, Neville and Harry to be delivered by Winky, who had offered to quietly deliver them on Yuletide Eve. Her eyes strayed to her trunk where she stored most of the gifts - about five of them left - she'd previously bought for Sev, and gave in to the impulse.

She opened the trunk and tried to decide which she wanted him to have for Yule. There was still one gift she was waiting for to be delivered from Mentor Roh. Her ex-mentor had offered to help Xhara in her search after she'd written to Roh enquiring about two items she'd been looking for.

The book - one of only three in existence, and she was in possession of another, which she'd won - had been delivered only two days ago, she'd had the full cost of the book forwarded to her former mentor through Gringotts. She knew the other item may not even be found anytime soon, but she still had hope.

 _Foolish girl!_ She snorted, yeah, that's what he'd say to her if he could see her now.

She picked up the book and placed it on the bed to be wrapped.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Alone in the dungeons, everyone else - six students and five professors - at dinner in the great hall, and Ari on a hunt in the Forbidden Forest; Xhara was almost finished with a Pepperup Potion to place aside for Professor Slughorn to approve for the hospital wing.

She enjoyed the solitude here in the potions class; the pungent smell of potion ingredients, of oils, flowers, herbs and more, reminded her of _him_ and she wondered vaguely what Professor Snape did to celebrate the Yuletide season.

Xhara gave the potion the necessary final stir, placed the stirring rod on the desk next to the cauldron, then sat back to wait for another five minutes for the potion to set on a low flame. She thought she heard a door open and looked up, but no one had come into the room.

Finally, her timer dinged and she carefully bottled the potion into a few heatproof phials before packing them neatly into a small box labelled with her name and the name of the potion in bold letters.

Placing it in the cupboard for potions made by students, to be approved by Slughorn, she was about to close the door when she noticed a phial of an unlabeled potion tilted on its side between the boxes.

The potion was a light beige, almost transparent consistency. She searched the other boxes to replace it but none of them contained potions of that particular colour.

Shutting the cupboard door, she turned to place it in the box used to collect completed classwork on Professor Slughorn's desk, when the phial was pulled from her hand by an invisible force and smashed at her feet.

She quickly banished the mess to prevent any fumes from forming, and only knew that was a mistake when instead of banishing it, the potion was activated by her magick and exploded into a mushroom cloud around her.

Xhara felt nothing when she crumpled to the floor of the potions classroom.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

It was a day after he'd escorted the girl to her common room, when Severus gave in and hexed Longbottom during practicals. Nothing dangerous, he just used the boy as a practice dummy for the entire class period.

Albus had floo-called him fifteen minutes after the class ended and instructed Severus to see him in his office later. Great! Give in to temptation _one_ time and you get detention as punishment. He could now appreciate how his students felt about his 'unfairness'; not that this was going to change how he treated any of them.

Undoubtedly, the old coot would never admit that offering professors tea and lemon drops while riddling them with long-winded anecdotes was a detention.

Damn his heightened sense of hearing! He wished he'd hadn't heard Longbottom whispering to Potter about kissing _her_ at the lake after the ball; memories of that night had flooded him.

 **Severus had charged up to the Astronomy tower - the highest point in the castle - so he couldn't follow the two couples that left the ball for a stroll near the lake at night. He knew what** _ **that**_ **meant for teenagers. It was probably a good thing that no one, not even Albus, had noticed him leaving.**

 **He'd prowled on the tower for what felt like hours, but it had only been a few precious minutes, and like a man demented or obsessed, he raced to the large archway that faced the lake and canvassed the grounds near it. That's when he saw them.**

 **Longbottom had lifted her into his arms and he was kissing her, she seemed to be just tolerating his kisses but then her arms slid around his neck and she was kissing him back.**

 **Pure, unfiltered jealously and rage filled him but this time he held the reins on his reactions, there was another emotion that surged forward but he left it unnamed; it was unreasonable and he refused to allow a child like her to elicit such an emotion from him again.**

 _Another intelligent beauty that ran to the first Gryffindor that gaped her way… the floozie…_

He sighed and palmed his face, if Miss Lovegood only knew he had used her blatant yet hidden insult; that crazy chit really needed to stop trying to bait him with her insane, friendly overtures.

He had a quick thought for Aurora who'd had the unfortunate luck in coming up to the tower at that time to prepare her notes for her next class. The woman could barely walk by the time he was done with her; it was ironic that her saviour had been the girl who was the cause of her discomfort.

And Aurora knew where to place the blame for her pain, he had seen the looks of anger she threw toward the girl as he hid in the darkened corridors like a wraith. She had paid for looking at the little Ravenclaw that way when she'd come to his rooms as he'd ordered.

Finished with his classes for the day, Severus sat back on the sofa in his quarters with a drink; exhausted and relieved but confused.

He'd just come from a visit with Poppy - after hexing Longbottom in his last class. She'd run a few diagnostic spells and found no traces of any type of Love Potion, nor it's darker version the Obsession Potion; an erroneous denotation because of the minor effect it had on men. It's true name and purpose was too repugnant to be spoken of in genteel company.

Suffice it to say, the Dark Lord had burdened Severus with brewing this potion often for his most loyal Death Eaters; he had immediately destroyed the text containing the recipe once Voldemort had died. It had troubled him to destroy such a rare and treasured scroll but he'd needed some form of absolution; there were too many memories… crying… begging… _too many memories._

The Dark Lord had once wanted to reward him with it, and he'd feigned being loyal to 'the deceased Mudblood'; he knew being able to make fun of his Potions Master's flaw would keep Voldemort from questioning Severus' refusal.

If it was neither of those potions, then why was he so intent on Miss Diya, why did he want to seek her out every available moment… even now? Was it a spell then? Or, was Aurora's soulmate theory possible?

He would need to visit the restricted section of the library tomorrow to see what information he could find on the subject.

Throwing back a shot of the Dragon Barrel Brandy he retreated to his bathroom, he had to get ready for his 'detention' with Albus.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

 **A/N - In this story, the Restricted Section is a room and NOT a roped off area.**

Severus perused the shelves in the Restricted Section after lunch the next day. His hands shook as he lifted the Wards that had been placed on the single shelf in the room that was _completely_ forbidden to students. He kept pulling random books if they seemed to contain the subject he wanted to study.

He shoved the most recent book he'd searched back to its place on the shelf, and proceeded to pace back and forth between the two large bookcases.

His sanity had snapped on him twice today, both occurrences related to _her._ First, during class where he had mocked her theoretical knowledge of silent casting. He hadn't meant to cause the hurt he'd seen in her eyes before she could look away; she was just so damned brilliant, his instinct had been to pull her to him and claim that she was _his_.

To fight that primal need, he found that anger - directed mostly at her - worked like a charm. Except for the wrenching, gut-churning anxiety he felt when he remembered her hurt features. The second time had been just now, when she'd silently entered the Restricted Section. She'd been unaware of him and had already begun browsing a short distance away when he spotted her.

"Miss Diya, explain to me why you are in the restricted section," he said, his words ground through his teeth, ignoring her startled gaze when she spun to face him, as he slowly stalked toward her.

"I got a permission slip from Professor Flitwick, Sir."

"Whilst _I_ am here, students are required to wait for Madam Pince's retrieval of any restricted books." He and the librarian had made an agreement, she would not have let the girl in whilst he was in here.

"Show me the slip," he said holding out his hand.

"I - I don't have it, Sir. Madame Pince took it and told me to collect the book I needed."

"You dare lie to me!" he grated through his teeth. Did this slip of a girl not know to whom she spoke?

She was now backed against the bookshelf she'd been searching, and a hint of her jasmine perfume enticed his senses.

When had he gotten so close?

Her fists knotted in her robes at her side as she tried to edge away from him; her hair shielding her face as she turned away. He slammed his palm against the shelf, effectively blocking her path.

She gasped, as startled as he was at his action, and looked up at him. From this close, he could see her long, curvy lashes blink back tears from those hazel eyes and her lower lip tremble slightly.

 _So full, soft… inviting._

The girl's breathing hitched as he placed his other hand on the shelf near her head. He lowered his head toward her.

 _One taste… just one._

Her palm braced on his chest, and her touch was a brand he welcomed.

"S-sir? Professor… please," her plea brought his eyes to hers.

The hazel orbs were swamped with fear, but the brand on his chest as her hand slid higher told of her desire. A haze of lust caged them both, their breaths mingling at an alarming pace; it was an ache with only one form of relief. He would oblige.

Severus dove in to plunder her lips, but before they could partake of that pleasure, the door to the Restricted Section opened.

He had already put some distance between himself and the girl, his blank mask back in place - he briefly wondered how deranged he had seemed to her - when Madame Pince walked rounded the corner of the tall shelf apologising to him for forgetting that he'd been in the room, explaining that the book the girl had been searching for was in the returns pile.

What astounded him, was the pleasant mien the girl had presented as she walked out of the room with Madame Pince and - sensing a magickal signature he was beginning to recognise as hers - he knew she had thrown up a glamour.

The girl had every right to run to the Headmaster and report his behaviour; why had she pretended like nothing had happened?

 _Because nothing did, you lucky cretin… but you were about to assault the girl! You need to get a hold of yourself or you are going to do things to that girl you will regret! Maybe…_

He returned to his search with a manic fervour and was rewarded.

 _ **The Dark & Light Of Magickal Bindings **_

_**Marital Unions, Arrangements, Slavery and more…**_

On the contents pages, one of the topics was Soulmate Bonds. Finally!


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Severus had joined Aurora in her quarters to discuss his proposal. Though the topic of their discussion was forming a temporary relationship, Severus couldn't stand the idea of the woman being in his rooms or his bed again. He'd asked Winky to give his rooms a thorough cleaning from top to bottom when he left for the holidays, encouraging her to get help from any house-elf wishing to offer their services.

Winky had been giddy with happiness, assuring him that his rooms would be sparkling by the end of the Yuletide season. He had an inkling that her giddiness stemmed from the fact that he wasn't going to bring Aurora to his rooms anymore.

He tried to lounge on Sinistra's black leather sofa but he found it too uncomfortable for his tastes, quickly placing a cushioning charm beneath him before she returned with hot beverages.

"Here's your coffee Severus, I don't know how you drink that stuff. You do know that's why your teeth are all yellowed, heaven knows it doesn't help that they're crooked too."

Severus sneered at her, his crooked, yellowed teeth unsightly in his mouth. "I always knew you weren't as… adept… at magick as the rest of us Aurora, but you really should brush up on your basic charms."

He gestured at his mouth with a finger and the glamour he had over his teeth vanished to reveal two rows of perfectly straight, white and clean teeth. "I'm a Potions Master woman, did you really think I'd allow my hygiene to degenerate so completely?"

At her gaping, he immediately replaced the glamour.

"Why do you have that glamour Snape, even when we're together?"

"It has become a part of the persona I've adopted over the years, you know, 'the greasy git', the 'bat of the dungeons'… the Death Eater. It effectively disturbs students enough to do as they're told at once in the hopes of not having to look at my face a second time," he paused to consider the last part of her question, "and you don't deserve the real me."

Aurora rolled her eyes unaffected by his insult, "A nice way to encourage my participation in your scheme Snape. Anyway, you were going to tell me what you found in that book."

"Everything about the beginnings of the bonding suggests that the girl may be my soulmate, except for the fact that she's underage," he shook his head after sipping his coffee, "that makes it impossible for this soulmate issue to be the cause of my problems."

"What does the book say?"

"Well, the Bonding Symptoms are many and honestly quite disturbing," he began as he quoted the list of symptoms he'd memorised from the book.

 **Obsession - wanting to be near, to learn everything about, to hear the voice or feel the touch - to become fixated on the object of affection.**

 **Animagi become more animalistic and aggressive in their forms but are able to maintain their own minds.**

 **Uncontrollable fear (in women), and rage (in men), jealousies and irrational behaviours. The fear in the woman usually stems from the feeling of being 'hunted' by the man.**

 **The man usually begins to act possessive of the woman. This sometimes leads to misunderstandings, anger, hurt or rejection. Even death by murder-suicide.**

 **Separation anxiety - needing to be in the presence of your mate constantly, but this only happens if the witch and wizard have never, or will never be together. This can be due to a marriage or other permanent relationship of one mate to someone else; or one soulmate's wish to part from the other (see The Withdrawal or Bond Cutting.) This further leads to either mage suffering hallucinations of their lost soulmate.**

 **Intense sexual urges (typically in the man ONLY if his mate is of age. Mature, of age females will experience these urges as intensely as the man) - this can be controlled by engaging in intercourse with the intended mate at least once. This allows both the man and woman to return to previous engagements with other individuals if so willing. If such activities are immoral to either mate, a D'Erection Potion (for men only) will help but is not recommended for daily use as an overdose will cause irreversible erectile dysfunction.**

 **The emotion called Love can be a 'symptom' of such intense courting but may not last. If both man and woman accept the bond completely, True Unconditional Love will be the 'result'.**

 **Some (rare) magi can sense their other half in previous lives, who may have been hurt as if it were happening in the present. This can cause distress to the one sensing the hurt and may lead to suicide attempts if the loved one is not around or has not been born to the present life.**

 **There have been accounts of magi with the ability to send their soul through time to an emotionally or physically distressed mate.**

 **Ganeus The Traveler was one of these magi who sent his soul back in time to rescue Uslyn of Valendwin, who would have died of poisoning before the two ever met.**

"Snape, I know that you and most of the professors here don't have much faith in me except for my Astronomy classes, but I have to tell you that this has to be your problem. Xhara Diya is your soulmate," she raised her hand to silence him before he snarled at her, "yes, she's sixteen but what if she's of age, there are rituals that can make a girl mature before her time. Trust me… I know."

Severus sat frozen, Aurora had never shared anything about her personal life with him before and what he knew of the ritual she spoke of… gods, the life she must have had!

Aurora saw his look and nodded before looking away from the pity in his eyes, and into the distance at something only she could see.

"You and Tom Riddle weren't the only half-blood Slytherins. My mother was a muggle my father fell in love with, but because of his social standing and those of my grandparents, they weren't allowed to get married or have children. He bought her a small cottage miles away from his estate and visited her, even after he married another pureblood woman, you know… to keep up appearances."

"Sinistra, you don't have to continue…"

"I want to, Snape, I've never told anyone this before and like I always say, you know how to keep a secret."

He nodded for her to continue.

"When my mother got pregnant with me, you'd assume my father would abandon her but he didn't," a proud glint shone in her eye, "he left his wife, no, he didn't divorce her that would have been unheard of, but he stayed with my mum, he took care of us. We were a family for five years until my mother died 'mysteriously'. He took me to his family home, where his wife still resided, even though she didn't love him any more than he loved her. It was the biggest mistake he ever made."

She twitched her wand, reheating her forgotten tea and took a sip.

"He died two years later, under 'mysterious circumstances' again mind you, leaving me in her care. I was eight when she forced the ritual on me… at nights strange men and women would come into my room (old purebloods, I know now). One night, about a year later, I fought back; the pureblood didn't like that I scratched his face where his wife and children would see. I ran. It took me days… no... I think it took me weeks, to find our old cottage; ironically, it was my stepmother and her kind who taught me how to pay my way there. My father had hidden away a trunk filled with magickal tomes and I taught myself a lot, especially Astronomy, which I loved before I got my letter to Hogwarts. I didn't even believe I would get one, because of the ritual that allowed magick to recognise me as an adult, but there it was. I even remember what the owl looked like, I stared at them both for so long before reading the letter and sending my reply."

She stopped and turned to Severus, her gaze old and sad but determined, "I know what you think of me," Severus swallowed at these words thickly but he didn't look away, "but do you have any idea how much worse my life would have been without Hogwarts."

"Do you believe she may be in danger?" he asked, his normally silky tones, rough.

"I don't believe so," she noted his relief, though he was unaware of it himself, "her eyes are a bit 'old' but I think it has more to do with her personality than hard life lessons. Besides, she's friends with Lovegood, Longbottom and now Harry Potter; now there's an eccentric group of friends that will be there for one another, make each other better."

"But what do I do Sinistra?" The time for pride had passed, as he begged.

"You can court her."

"Are you insane, have you not been listening, she is sixteen!"

"You're the one who's not listening, she's of age!"

"Through a ritual and we still don't know that for sure," he sighed, dragging his finger tiredly through his hair, "even if it's true, I can't!"

"Don't tell me you're still in love with Lily Evans? Severus, in case you forgot, that girl was a right bitch to you at school, she only pretended to like you when she needed help with her classwork and assignments."

He shook his head irritated at her words and huffed before confessing, "I think the girl may have been possessing Lily's body at the times Lily was nice to me. It was at those times when I saw 'Lily's' brilliance, especially at Potions as it's also a passion of mine."

Sinistra didn't laugh, instead, she nodded, "You're only proving my point Snape and it would fit with the rare symptom you mentioned about the soul going back in time to a mate in distress."

Severus had really been hoping she would disagree with him, "Of course you could be right about Lily pretending to like me, once after fifth-year she tried to be nice to me, and I could tell it was not something that came naturally to her, unless it was aimed at someone or something she cared about."

He placed his empty cup on the side table, "Before Hogwarts, she once told me that she was different and told me her 'name'. I thought Lily was looking for any excuse to never speak to me again or to explain away her rude behaviour toward me, so I just indulged her."

His elbows rested on his knees and he hid his face in his palms, his words muffled. "I thought she'd mispronounced the first name she could think of. So whenever she was nice to me… I playfully called her 'Sarah-Lily'"

"Oh Snape _Princess_ Lily, really!"

"I was a fool alright, my mother even hinted at me but I was too obsessed with who I thought Lily was to listen! There were times when I called her 'my flower' in honour of how she first pronounced that name, but look at the names from my perspective. Xhara means flower and a lily is a flower… I thought," Severus sighed tiredly, "I honestly don't know what I thought anymore."

"Yeah, I guess it's bad luck that the girl's name means flower, even though she spells it with an 'X' and not a 'Z'. That's cause for a lot of confusion with you looking up names and all. Can't you just accept something as fact without looking for a meaning behind it?"

"What kind of teacher or Potions Master would I be if I did something so immensely foolish?"

Severus' face reddened, "When I checked the name 'Zarah', it was after my mother spoke with me. I was beginning to believe what 'Lily' had said when we first met, about who she was… or wasn't, but after fifth-year when I called her a mudblood and she was never 'nice' to me again, I thought I had lost my chances with her, my flower."

"Aww Snape, if I wasn't so forward and not shy at all about getting it rough on the Astronomy tower - preferably from a normal sized guy - I'd get all flustered with how sweet and romantic that sounded." She chuckled as he rolled his eyes. "Are you going to try the D'Erection potion?"

"There's no way in hell I'm going to brew that or take it. There is, however, a surprisingly short ceremony that I can perform to sever the bond, it will be extremely difficult and painful, but she won't feel it as much as I will; it's the best idea. Within a few days, she and I can be free to seek other… options."

To his surprise, the Astronomy professor seemed disappointed, "Snape, if you do this it will be the third biggest mistake of your life."

There was silence as Severus studied her quietly for a moment.

"I know accepting the Dark Mark was one, please, enlighten me as to the other."

"Your constant rejection of the girl during her time as 'Lily'. From the description of your story just now, she tried to show and tell you who she was and you pushed her away, you ass."

"You defend her well for someone I assumed disliked her."

"Severus, she stays after every class to study, then helps me pack away the school telescopes. The night she gave me that potion… I was mad because I knew even though you were with me… well, behind me, the night of the ball, she was the one on your mind. I've never had that happen to me before."

"Hmmm…"

"Anyway, the point I was trying to make; do you know how hard it is to find someone to love you for who you are, no matter what? You, Severus Snape, happened to be one of the lucky ones to find a Soulmate, a SOUL-mate, someone who has the potential to love you for eternity, and you'd rather break it!"

"I don't want to break it, I'm just trying to protect her."

"That's a load of bull and you know it! What the hell are you so scared of, Snape?"

"I want to FUCK HER you BLOODY BINT!" he roared, rising to his feet to pace, "she's sixteen, a young girl that I teach and I keep fantasising about what she looks like NAKED!"

Sinistra snorted before slouching weakly in her chair with laughter. Severus' gaze turned murderous and he pulled his wand as he stood over her threateningly.

"I was about to assault her in the library today, just before Madame Pince came into the room," he said unnaturally calm, his grip on his wand tight, on his rage… not so much.

Sinistra immediately quit laughing at his sobering words, "You were never a rapist Snape, no matter how hard Voldemort tried to make you one. You wouldn't have hurt her and… I know you don't want to hear this but, if she had 'the ritual' done and she is of age, then by now she wants you as much as you want her. She might be scared of it if she's never been with another, but I assure you the attraction is there. The question you need to answer is, are you going to let it happen?"

"No, I don't want to take the chance that Albus might fire me, and if I'm thrown out of Hogwarts I will never receive my inheritance. If I survive this current torment, I will need it to court her as I should, not just bounce her firm, naked body around… on my bed… and then… I…"

Sinistra smirked as Snape's mind wandered and his eyelids drooped, his thoughts were obviously dirty, "Then why not do what she did and find an outlet for your more amorous activities. I must admit, she and Longbottom made a…" she didn't get to finish as Severus smashed her lamp to the floor and stalked to the exit in a murderous rage. Thinking quickly she Warded her door to prevent him from leaving immediately.

"Snape, stop, get a hold of yourself! I didn't mean that she was sleeping with the boy or that she should."

Severus continued taking down her wards… easily, to her embarrassment.

"Severus!" He spun to face her, his black, burning gaze scared her as it never had before, "You said that you're not going to court her, at least not yet. I'll help you take the edge off as best as I could but you must know that, after… Kingsley wants to get serious and I told him I'd think about it. He'll wait, maybe…"

His rage was now manageable and he said gruffly, "Who says I'll want you after having her? Besides, the book says that once we both accept the bond completely, we'll never be attracted to any other."

"You're welcome, Snape."

"Thank you, for keeping me from making a fool of myself just now. I think one of these days I may even go so far as to call you my friend."

This was so going to be a long night, Sinistra thought.

"Uh-huh, well, that was... moving ... really. Did you hurt yourself,? Fucking soggy douche... bedroom's this way."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

With a flourish of his quill, Severus ended the spidery scrawl of scathing remarks on one of his second year's essays and glanced around his last class today. He had not been in the proper frame of mind to hold practicals and had produced an impromptu test, which the students were now all hunched over.

Ever since Sinistra convinced him that the girl may be his soulmate, Severus wondered about the two anonymous gifts and the letter he received. Had Miss Diya sent them?

Potter and Lovegood were now courting… yes, it had to be; if the girl had been the soul in possession of Lily's body (he understood now Lily's accusations of him using Imperio on her) she would know his likes and dislikes. The day she'd literally ran into him, her hair had a faint bouquet of lavender and rosemary.

The fragrance of the shampoo was one such as Lily had made him during a study session for potions classes. After she'd bottled the shampoo with instructions for him to put it away for a month or two, Lily had raged at him for wasting an entire study session and stormed out of the room.

The puzzle pieces were falling into place perfectly; Xhara Diya was either stalking him, was a master Legilimens or she was his soulmate. The latter was the answer he was most leaning toward as it was the only logical explanation for his own actions toward her.

Did she know this? Did she suspect that they were soulmates?

That day in the Restricted Section she could have had 'the bat of the dungeons' fired, and done the students a favour. Instead, she'd… protected him. Besides, she's an intelligent girl and of Ravenclaw house.

Of course, she knew! Or, she really liked him.

Blast it all! He hated being so unsure of himself!

His heart raced in excitement anyway. Should he do anything about this new information? No, he answered his own question, her feelings about him didn't change his mind.

Should he acknowledge her though?

Should he get her a holiday gift?

He didn't have much funds, maybe he could Charm some things together that he had at home. His face flushed red at his frugality, and he hid behind his hair as he pretended to look over his students' essays. He was a master of Charms even though, officially, he never apprenticed with anyone. He should be able to put something together that a female such as her would appreciate.

All he had to do was remember what 'Sarah-Lily' had liked.

Miss Diya may guess it was from him but he would never sign his name or attract attention to himself. He could still maintain his 'spying' tendencies to cloak himself from detection.

So… what had his flower liked?

She had liked fruits as much as he did, but it was the Yuletide season, and though it was something affordable that he could purchase, it was inappropriate for a Yule gift.

She had loved potions and especially brewing outdoors. He briefly wondered if she'd found a place on the grounds to work and if she did, hopefully, it wasn't in the Forbidden Forest.

He'd been on a run in the forest when he had observed her in the Black Lake playing with her familiar, it was when his curiosity about her had… um, peaked. He'd slipped back to the castle, embarrassed and panicked, as her familiar had made eye contact with him before he could look away. No way in hell was he stupid enough to engage a Nundu!

Severus pinched the bridge between his eyes, trying to push away his remembered erection and panic so he could think of something else he could get her.

He had kept the dark glass bottle Sarah-Lily had used to store the shampoo she'd brewed for him. It was big enough for him to transfigure into a solid glass stirring rod, so that was one idea.

He wished he had paid more attention when his mother had tried to tell him about girls and what…

That's it!

He knew what he was going to give her and it was definitely something he knew she'd love. He would have to wait until he was back at Spinner's End though; the holidays couldn't come soon enough.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

The Yuletide season was almost here, three more days and he could leave Hogwarts for Spinner's End. Sinistra had refused to meet him at a hotel in muggle London as he'd suggested and argued that she would be visiting with Kingsley and his parents for the entire holiday.

Severus graciously accepted her refusal - Sinistra had actually seemed happy - but inside, fear consumed him. The girl was going to remain at Hogwarts; what if he lost control of himself and returned?

He could persuade another professor - preferably Dumbledore - to add to the Wards at Spinner's End to prevent him from leaving, after all, he rarely ever left the house during the Yule holidays. But then he would need to make excuses to whoever placed the Wards, or even worse, tell the truth.

He would have to take his chances using his own and Winky's magick and hope for the best.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Finally, it was the day before the beginning of the holidays and the teachers supervised the corridors and grounds as the students left for the carriages that would be returning them to Hogsmeade to board the train.

Severus strode along the dungeon corridors, ensuring that none of his first years got lost on their way out, when he heard the muffled whispers of four seventh-years pushing their trunks along in front of them.

His strides were silent, the corridors were dark and these were apparently the not-so-bright seventh-years if they hadn't thought of using Shrinking, Featherlight or Levitation Charms.

"I heard they're going to get married."

"Not a bad choice for Professor Snape if that's true. Sinistra's a hot piece."

 _ **She was?**_ … _hmm, to each his own_.

"I heard that he was only shagging her. Didn't you guys hear the rumour that she's the go-to-woman for pureblood seventh-years?"

"No! That true, Goldblum?"

Severus didn't hear anymore as they joined the crowd of students leaving the castle.

There was a rumour of him and Sinistra getting married? Who would spread such utter nonsense? His scowl was fierce when he realised. Damn his nosy colleagues! Didn't they know better than to gossip around students?

He hoped the girl hadn't heard those foolish rumours, but this being Hogwarts, it was a foolish hope indeed.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

There were only two of his Slytherins remaining for the holidays. After giving them a stern lecture on their conduct while he was away, he left them in the care of Horace Slughorn who would temporarily assume Severus' Head of House duties until he returned.

His home at Spinner's End was, as usual… clean?… spacious?… light?… and homey?

"What the hell?!"

"Welcome home, Master Snape Sir."

Severus had already drawn his wand when he stepped from his fireplace and spun menacingly toward the voice, relaxing when he spotted Winky.

"Winky! What on earth is going on? Did you do this?"

Gone were the peeling, faded paint on the mouldy walls. The copious amounts of dust that had covered everything were also gone. His most important electrical items had been renewed, and their protective runes were redone (permanently this time) to allow them to work, not with electricity but with magick.

Something was missing though, something intangible that was sensed and had always been here in this house on Spinner's End, but he couldn't place what that was yet.

"Master Snape wanted his rooms cleaned so Winky and Dobby and many other house-elves cleaned Master's rooms. Winky even fixed the yard and Dobby repaired the cracks in the walls outside and painted."

"This… this is…"

Severus walked quickly around the rooms of his small house, stunned. Everything seemed brand new, even the bookshelves.

His voice reflected his sadness when he said, "I've always meant to do this…"

"That is not Master's job," Winky interrupted a bit tetchy, "Winky takes care of Master, Winky cooks and cleans and helps Master!" Severus looked down at the little elf in awe.

When the hell had Winky bound herself to him?

Whenever he'd called for a house-elf at Hogwarts she always came, ever since she was abandoned at Hogwarts - sometimes that Dobby as well - until Severus got so used to seeing her that he started calling for her in particular. He'd assumed that only she came because the other elves had been afraid of him, he usually got impatient with their bowing and scraping and ended up yelling at them.

He didn't know what to think or feel; when a house-elf bound itself willingly to a witch or wizard without coercion, it was because they found that person to be honourable.

"Thank you, Winky," he said finally, though still a bit unsure, "this is perfect."

Winky glowed at his praise.

"Dobby and the others have already started on Master's rooms at Hogwarts. Winky is joining them after I's serves Master his dinner. Now, Winky will take care of Master's Hogwarts things."

With a snap of her fingers the trunk of school work he'd arrived with levitated and moved as she shambled purposefully toward his bedroom.

Wanting to take a proper tour, he returned to the living room; the entire house was comprised of seven rooms, but on stepping back into the living room he noticed a door to the far right of the fireplace that had never been there before.

It opened to a… was that teakwood?... staircase leading down into what he at first assumed was a basement. He got to the bottom of the stairs and stopped as his eyes squeezed closed and he brushed a hand down his face.

 _I am not about to cry like a little girl!_

Winky and the other house-elves had created a dungeon that ran the entire length of the house, with open archways and corridors that led to different rooms. The first room he had come to was a Potions Lab.

There were gleaming, dark grey soapstone countertops and the cupboards were varnished oak wood. Tracing the tips of his fingers along the cool, smooth surface of the counter he inhaled deeply of the fresh, clean aroma of his lab and noticed the few tools and cauldrons he owned were packed away neatly. It would be up to him to furnish the lab once his inheritance from his family vault at Gringotts was released to him.

That's when it hit him, it was the smell, that's what was missing!

All the years he'd lived at Spinner's End, there was always the cloying stench of rot and filth that filled the air ever since they'd closed the mill. Once everyone began moving away there was no reason for the river that ran nearby to be routinely cleaned. The house-elves must have cast a Filter or Atmospheric Charm; he really hoped it was the former as the idea of taking deep breaths of magickally hidden rot now made him queasy.

The other rooms were bare, save for the one just opposite his lab. A library; bookshelves lined the walls to the ceiling with comfortable seating and a table for studying or research. The shelves were as bare as the cupboards in the labs except for a few books and would similarly be taken care of.

In awe, he finally left the dungeon to view the rest of the house. Leaving the living room for the corridor, he paused at the exit on his right, but decided he would see the exterior of the house later. Turning to the left, he walked a short distance to two doors next to each other on the right of the corridor. The first being the guest room, simply yet tastefully furnished, the second made him pause.

It was the room he'd used as a boy and it was now fully furnished… for a child. There was a built-in bed that was created to look like a castle, the floor was covered by a dark green shag carpet with a wardrobe and a small bookshelf to complete the decor. There was more but he swallowed thickly, allowing the door to close as he continued further into the house.

A toilet and bath were just after the small bedroom - still on the right - the tiles all renewed and the walls repainted.

There were two doors remaining, one facing him and the other - an open archway - on his left. He knew that the door facing him was the master bedroom and he wanted to save that room for last. He walked through the open archway and into the kitchen and dining area.

There were black granite countertops, dark cherry cabinets and cupboards. As he'd noted before, the protective runes on his stove and refrigerator had been recast, the stove had been expanded to six burners and his refrigerator was magickally enlarged on the inside.

Even the door to exit the house from the kitchen was new, there were no Runes, and he knew Winky left it that way as he preferred to cast those types of Runes on his own. The same went for the front entrance and all the windows.

He stood outside the door to his bedroom and inhaled deeply before turning the knob and opening the door. The master bedroom was gone, instead, there was a stairway leading to a second floor; one that never existed before.

At the top of the stairs he stopped and stared in awe; the entire floor - the size of his house - had been made into a master bedroom.

The bed was obviously king sized, the doors, cabinets and nightstand matched in dark oak.

He opened the wardrobe intent on laying out fresh clothing for after his bath and was surprised to find a walk-in closet. The master bath to the left of the entrance to the room had painted in earth tones. Large plants surrounded the toilet, while vine-like plants hung from the ceiling and a magickal mirror was placed over a glass double vanity.

"You still have your Glamour on my lord."

He ignored the mirror as he continued his perusal. There was a glass partition with a door and inside was an indoor tropical greenery, including leafy palm trees. Stepping stones led to the river rock bathtub which was cupped on one side by big, green fan-like plants and fragrant herbs that could be used in the tub. Further on, the shower head protruded from the rocky wall, under which a space big enough for two was surrounded by thick shrubbery and a few more palm trees, reminiscent of a waterfall.

His cheeks reddened as he left the bathroom, at least there was no one around to walk in on him in the shower.

Back in the bedroom, there was a comfortable sitting area and a glass door that led to a balcony with a patio set and the view of… trees? He sat on the edge of his bed and pondered all Winky had done with the help of the others.

His house was almost like a home now, it was perfect - as he'd told Winky - what he hadn't realised was that it was perfect for a family.

Winky had created a setting for a family home.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

Severus' arrival to Spinner's End three days ago had successfully distracted him from his obsession with the girl, but only for short intervals.

Yule was now four days away, and he was vigorously cleaning the gift he was going to have Winky deliver - unobserved - to the girl on Yuletide morning. Earlier, he had received a letter from Sinistra giving him some hope that she would meet him the next day.

He placed the now sparkling clean gift to dry on the counter and was about to head to his bedroom to have Winky ward the door behind him - as he'd had her doing for the past few nights - when a voice from his living room called out to him.

"Severus! Severus my boy, are you at home?"

He growled agitatedly, he should have expected something like this and blocked his floo from Hogwarts. Lack Of Common Sense would need to be listed as one of the side effects of the Bonding.

Blanking his features, he entered the living room and walked toward the fireplace.

"Is there an emergency, Professor Slughorn?" he asked disinterestedly, even through the flames of the floo he could tell that the man was sloshed.

"Severus my boy, my apologies for monopolising time out of your holiday, but I was hoping you could present yourself at Hogwarts for just one hour. I got a great deal on a rare potion ingredient from an acquaintance who'll be meeting me at the Hogs Head. I promise to return in exactly one hour and present a bit of it to you of course in exchange."

It was a foolish excuse on his ex- professor's part as any one of the professors remaining at Hogwarts could be available for the two young Slytherins - who most likely will not need them - for an hour.

Even drunk, Slughorn knew better than to go to the other professors in such a condition, and Slytherins allied where necessary. Besides, what happens in Slytherin, stays in Slytherin.

Severus, however, was a man also under an influence.

"I'll be there in a moment Horace. Be prepared to keep your end of the bargain."

When Slughorn's head disappeared from his fireplace, Severus called for Winky who appeared immediately.

"Winky, I'll be returning to Hogwarts for an hour or so, but I'll be keeping to my quarters. I'll need you to Ward them while I'm there. I'm not sure how long I will be able to control myself before I'm tempted to leave my rooms."

"Yes, Master Snape Sir, but Master's bedroom is the only room Master can stay in. Winky and the others have already started clearing Master's other rooms."

"That's fine Winky, it's just for one hour."

 _Please… let me last for the hour._

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

The first thing Severus did on exiting the fireplace in Slughorn's office, was to send a letter to Sinistra hopeful that she would at least agree to return to Hogwarts for the next hour. He would even opt to spend the night and return to Spinner's End in the morning. He summoned Winky to prepare the wards on his quarters.

Being back at Hogwarts, he found that the anticipation and longing he'd suffered at the house had eased somewhat with his return. He released a sigh of relief, at least he wasn't about to hunt for the girl like some damned animal.

He glanced at the office desk that was once his and sneered at the mountain of paperwork strewn all over it. He wasn't looking forward to taking over from that lazy old codger next September.

He had a brief flash of insight and smirked as he removed the pathetic Warding from the desk drawer and opened it. Two bottles of Dragon Barrel Brandy and one Ogden's Finest Firewhiskey were revealed, one three-quarter empty and the other two full and still sealed.

He strolled into his quarters five minutes later; they were bare, and a twinge of apprehension shot through him. There were a few important items he kept here but he knew that Winky and the other house-elves would guard his possessions well while they scoured his quarters clean.

He entered his still furnished bedroom - Winky had changed the sheets on the bed - and placed the bottle he'd nicked, on the small desk Winky had conjured in the room for him earlier. A clean snifter graced it's otherwise bare surface and his lips twitched at Winky's foresight.

Breaking the seal on the brandy, he sat on the soft armchair and prepared a drink. Summoning the potions text that was still on his nightstand, he sipped on his drink and lost himself in the complex and alleged methodology and practise of brewing the Longevity Elixir.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Severus trudged into his bedroom after a long bath; not bothering with his usual conjured orbs of light, as he just wanted to slip into his bed and sleep off his erection until he could return home in the morning. He didn't want to take the chance of leaving his quarters after his overindulgence.

He was disappointed that Sinistra had returned his owl with a refusal, claiming that she was unable to get away from Kingsley or his parents. He'd been looking forward to easing the continuous ache in his groyne area despite his exhaustion.

Severus banished his towel and pulled on a black silk pyjama bottom, not bothering with the shirt. Intoxicated from his few shots of the Dragon Barrel on an empty stomach - cursing himself because he knew better - he shuffled in the dark to the faint outline of his bed and climbed in with a loud sigh.

He lay on his back, drifting into sleep when a small, warm body - mainly a leg and an arm - draped across him at the same time a face snuggled onto his chest and something soft… hair… tickled his face.

A feral grin graced his sleepy features. He knew she couldn't stay away from 'The Hippogriff' no matter how much she denied wanting it, and this wasn't the first time Sinistra had slipped into his bed to surprise him. She must have fallen asleep waiting for him to finish his marathon bath.

Dragging himself back from the edge of sleep, he banished his trousers and pulled her to him tightly as he caressed her smooth leg to cup her ass cheek, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Severus revelled in her soft sigh of pleasure, her quick breaths feathered his chest. Her hip began to rock gently against his thigh and he could feel her soft, heated core dampen against him. His length hardened, and gripping her behind her bent knee, he pushed her onto her back and rose above her.

He tossed the pillows off the bed and when she moaned questioningly, finally rousing from an obviously deep sleep, he sucked and nibbled along her neck and throat until he found and took her lips in a plundering kiss. Returning his lips to her throat, he sunk his teeth into her without breaking her skin, sucking hard; deaf to her cries.

She would be marked by him by the end of the night.

"Is this what you wanted," he crooned, his silky baritone making her shiver, he dived into her soft lips once more before she twisted her head away.

"P-professor?" her voice was merely a whisper, shaky and barely audible.

His breath came in harsh, fervent gasps and his grip on her hair tightened. He tugged it - painfully he knew - and when she arched backwards with a gasping cry he eagerly ravished her slim neck, probing lower until he could pull a beaded nipple into his mouth, laving it thoroughly.

"Uh... no... oh no," her pleas were soft, almost fearful as she pushed feebly against his shoulders; but he knew Sinistra's... quirks ... by now.

"Don't fight me Aurora, not tonight," his hands greedily explored her body in rough gropes; gripping her hips to prevent her from moving, he did something he never thought he'd do to this woman.

"No…"

She tried to keep her legs closed but her limbs were weak from pleasure, so instead, he held tight to the back of her knees, holding her legs out of the way he devoured the soft wet core he knew would be puckered in that position.

Her gasps were both wanton and panicked as she sobbed in delight.

"Oh... oh please!"

God, he never knew she would taste so good, so sweet... so _his_.

"Mine... belong to me...taste so good..." his words, broken as his thought process was corrupted by lust, possession. Obsession.

With alcohol and lust rushing through his body like a tidal wave it was easier for him to ignore her usual signs of 'protest', too far gone to give her the usual spankings she liked receiving from 'The Professor', he draped her legs around him and gripped his engorged length, teasing the tip at the entrance to her drenched core.

"Please...wait," she gasped, her lithe body shaking in the throes of ecstasy.

He enjoyed her mewls of pleasure when he pushed his broad tip in before burying his full length into her tight sheath, claiming her lips when she screamed.

He pumped in and out of her, his hips moving slowly at first; relishing her tightness before giving in to animalistic grunts, pounding away at her helpless body. When he finally roared his release, he slumped over her and slowly passed out over her still shaking body as she sobbed softly in his ear.

Severus returned to consciousness only minutes later, his flesh hardening within her again as he hadn't pulled out before. Flooded with his seed, her body was more accepting but still tight, he vaguely wondered if she'd used one of _those_ potions and more importantly, a contraceptive potion.

Whatever it was he was grateful; the raging lust he'd been feeling before was easing by leaps and bounds. His body wasn't finished with him, though, nor he with her.

His movements were slower this time, caused by his earlier exhaustion and when he felt her body begin to move slowly in time with his, heard the soft melody of her moans of pleasure, he captured her lips again in a kiss; soft and passionate.

Never before had Severus made love to a woman, far less for repeatedly and until the early hours of the morning before finally sliding into oblivion.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

"BAD Master Snape Sir!"

A pillow slammed on his head and Severus shot upright to find Winky standing on the bed looking down and berating him.

"After all Winky has done! Master gets no potions for his dizziness; BAD Master!"

He flopped back on the bed and covered his head with the pillow in hopes of toning down the high pitch of Winky's tirade. He sighed when it worked, barely, he did hear words like hurt and ashamed and nasty. He snorted into the pillow, he would never be able to get away with having sex with Sinistra again if Winky ever found out that he'd found his soulmate.

"Ahh, you crazy elf!" he yelled as he felt the damp, freezing temperature of his dungeon bedroom; Winky had summoned the bed sheets and covers from around him and they were now folded neatly in her hands.

"Would Master Snape Sir be liking the usual ritual?" she asked grumpily, still radiating disapproval.

The usual ritual? What the hell was she harping about now? He stared blankly at the house-elf still groggy from his overindulgence of drink, sex and lack of sleep last night; she probably boiled his sheets in hot water after a visit with Sinistra so he just nodded and moved to stand.

"What colours would Master be liking?"

He'd had enough of a house-elf talking to him, _him_ , like that, and who cares what colour sheets she returned with; he was going back to the house to enjoy the rest of the holiday.

"I don't care you crazy elf, it doesn't matter. Leave me in peace blast you!"

Winky glared as her Master stomped into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Fine! Cerulean blue, bronze and black it shall be then. She jumped off the bed and shambled into the small - currently bare - sitting room, to the wall near the fireplace where a door appeared at her height.

Not willing to use too much unnecessary magic on the sheets she walked to her nest carrying the precious items; her Mistress was muggle-born but was descended from an ancient line of Egyptian and Nubian Magi.

Through her bond with Mistress, Winky was able to access ancient house-elf - the Ancient Egyptians used to call them Ushabtis - knowledge, that she would put to use in protecting this new family she served; starting with the protective baby blankets she'd be making with the sheets.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Severus didn't linger too long at Hogwarts, after his shower he quickly dressed, strode to Slughorn's office to collect his part of the rare - _Unicorn hair? Damn that Slughorn! I could get reels of these from Hagrid!_ \- and returned to Spinner's End.

Stepping out of the fireplace, Severus was surprised to realise that his overwhelming obsession for the girl did not return. There was a tug of emotion, maybe a sense of wanting to be near her and to hold her… _comfort her?_ … but it was negligible.

He placed the Unicorn Hair on a side table to take to his lab after breakfast, slipped off his robe and hung it on the rack on the wall in the corridor as he headed for the kitchen to make himself breakfast. He switched on the kettle and was startled when something moved in his peripheral; he turned to the dining table to find a full English breakfast had appeared.

Winky had sent him breakfast from Hogwarts, and seeing the steaming pot that had appeared with it, he turned off the kettle and settled himself for his first real breakfast in months.

After breakfast, he went down into his new Potions Lab. He put away the Unicorn Hair, and set up his only three cauldrons on one of the counters with some distance between them. It was relaxing to be able to set up his lab the way he wanted, there was even a tall and a tabletop revolving bookstand where he could place his potions texts.

He went about the rest of his day with an air of relief and euphoria.

He almost wished he could have seen Sinistra that morning before she left, to thank her. He didn't think she was the type of witch to use _that_ kind of potion, it was almost Knockturn-Alley-Whorish. Merlin knows those witches definitely needed the potion's tightening effect; shagging one of them was like throwing a sausage down an empty Hogwarts corridor, this coming from a man as well endowed as he was.

Winky appeared that night as he was getting ready for bed, "Would Master Snape Sir be needing the Warding?"

"No thank you Winky I think I'll be fine tonight."

Winky nodded and popped away and as he settled down in his bed and propped open his potions text for some light reading before sleep, a random and disturbing thought came to him.

How the hell had Sinistra gotten through his, and especially Winky's Wards last night?

"Winky."

"Yes Master Snape Sir." The elf reappeared next to his bed.

"Did you let Sinistra through my wards last night?"

"Winky would never let the nas…"

"Winky!"

"Winky would never, Master Snape Sir."

"Thank you Winky, you may go."

Severus put the matter out of his mind for the moment, he would be seeing the Astronomy professor at school after the holidays, he could wait until then to question her thoroughly. He returned to his book allowing the words to lull him to sleep.

 **They were in a rarely used corner of the Hogwarts library studying for a potions essay. Severus tried not to make his gazes too obvious as he took in her shining red hair.**

 **He knew she didn't want to be here with him, but getting a perfect Potions score for their essay kept her seated. Every now and again she would pull her hair forward and hunch over in the hopes that none of her friends, especially the Marauders, saw her sitting with greasy Snivellus.**

 **She called him that herself, mostly when she was in one of her rages, and he'd heard her laughing with her friends about him on numerous occasions. Yet he loved her, with every fibre of his being he loved her, particularly because he knew how loving she could be to him at times.**

 **He'd used the shampoo she'd made for him, hoping she would notice and appreciate his effort. Nothing… not even a sign of recognition of her own creation. Maybe he really was the fool his mother called him, ever since she met Lily and he started falling for her.**

 **Severus couldn't understand the pull he felt when he was near her. He knew she didn't like him, was disgusted by him, but he couldn't help but want to be close to her. His sigh was a sad one as he returned to his studying.**

 _ **The gentle touch of fingers combing through his hair made him look up startled, and there she was... his flower. Heavily lashed hazel eyes stared up at him full of love.**_

" _ **It worked!" she said, but he barely listened to her words as his dark gaze fell to her lips.**_

 _ **Tilted up into a smile, for him, glossed with the colourful hint of a soft, ripe grape and he wanted a taste.**_

 _ **She apologised for touching him, her professor, and he mumbled a reply still gazing into her glowing dark features, her hair was a golden-copper halo that fell in soft bouncy curls to her shoulders.**_

 _ **He was drawn to her lips again by her nibbling on them and he couldn't help himself. Gently tugging her plump lower lip from between her teeth, he leant closer to her.**_

" _ **You'll hurt yourself," he whispered in his deep, silky baritone which he'd perfected over the years.**_

 _ **His eyes met her pleasantly surprised gaze and knew she wouldn't push him away. His lips were on hers possessively, nipping; sucking; tasting.**_

" _ **My flower."**_

 _ **He tugged on her hair and pulled her into his lap, high on her moan of surrender, he trailed kisses along her throat.**_

" _ **P-professor?"**_

 _ **As she held tight to the front of his robes, he lifted her into his arms as he stood and a door to his quarters appeared near their study area.**_

 _ **His kisses gentled and her moans enticed him. He stalked through the door, his female in his arms as his robes billowed behind him.**_

Severus woke abruptly, breathing harshly from the erotic and confusing end to his dream. Besides the fact that his subconscious had placed the girl in Lily's place, something else about the dream disturbed him but he couldn't put his finger on what that was.

Exhaustion wouldn't allow him to dwell on it and he was pulled back into a dreamless sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

It was Yuletide Eve and Severus sat in the small courtyard that was accessed from the dining area, his thoughts on the dream he'd had the night before. He had yet to discern what bothered him about it.

He remembered when he was younger, about a month before his eighth birthday, confiding in his mother about Lily's continuous change of attitude.

 **Eileen Snape had sneered at his crush on the girl, and was bent on ignoring her only child, as usual, until Severus mentioned Lily's name change and her statement that she was 'different inside'.**

 **Her stern gaze had speared him and Severus spied a thoughtful look on her face before she blanked her features and sent him off to finish his chores. Throughout the day Severus would find his mother's gaze on him; an action she rarely did, that it was distracting, and he paid for it when his father returned that night, drunk and needing to lash out at the closest body.**

 **Usually, he would have been aware of the time his father stumbled home from the bar, and Severus would lock himself in his bedroom. The longing for his mother's gaze, though mostly stern and lost in thought, kept him on the floor of the living room reading The Lord of The Rings.**

 **So caught in the journey of The Fellowship, he only became aware of his father when a meaty fist slammed into the side of his head with a force strong enough to knock him into the wall near the television.**

" **Didn' I tell you to stay out o' my sight you li'l freak!"**

 **The lash of a belt rained on his unprotected back, but he didn't scream. He never screamed nor cried, not in front of them.**

" **Stop it, STOP! Leave him alone!"**

 **The shouts of his mother were drowned out by his father's litany of hate for his only son. He felt the sting of the belt on the back of his hands as he tried to protect his head when suddenly the blows stopped.**

" **Sev… ahh… run!"**

 **Severus turned painfully to find his mother crouched protectively over him, her eyes full of pain as his father switched targets. He saw as she bit her lip against crying out. Rage bubbled up and his magick reacted, slamming his father across the room and into an old bookcase.**

 **Tobias groaned but quickly staggered to his feet angrier than before; Severus had broken the rule, No Magick!**

" **Sev, run… hide!"**

 **Hesitant to obey his mother but afraid of repercussions, he scrambled toward his bedroom.**

" **NO, leave him alone!"**

 **Severus looked back to see his mother grab his father's arm as he tried to follow his son to his room. He ran into the room, locked the door and scrambled under his small bed.**

 **Hugging his knees to his chest, he let the tears flow; flinching at every crack of Tobias' belt and his mother's wails until she was suddenly, eerily silent. Never in his life had his mother ever fought for him or tried to protect him from his father's cruelty.**

 **Though she never said it, like Tobias, Eileen did not love her son. If she ever had, it had died the day her husband began to punish her for breeding a freak like herself. He knew that somehow, like always, his mother would find a way to place the blame for her actions tonight on him.**

 **He was wrong this time though, from that day - after healing him with magick! - his mother's attitude toward him changed completely. She began tutoring him during the days when Tobias left the house. She'd even met Lily once after encouraging him to bring her over during one of the girl's 'nice' days.**

 **Previously unknown to Severus, Eileen Snape had once been a witch on the fast track in the wizarding world. Hauntingly beautiful and a prodigy in all magickal branches of knowledge, it was no wonder her family disowned her for one heinous mistake.**

 **With her intelligence and ability to work out a problem and her research of ancient magickal tomes - some of which she'd kept in a trunk placed under an invisibility Charm in Severus' room - she came to the conclusion that once she willing loved or provided security for her son, his soulmate would not need to take possession of her body.**

 **She was still in shock and awe that her son had a magickal soulmate and a powerful one too. She could remember - before it had quickly faded - the powerful sensation of the remnant of magick the girl had left within her after making Eileen take the brunt of the beating for her son. Eileen had then let her father know; Sebastian Prince would never abandon an heir like Severus.**

As he remembered his mother's description of those events, Severus pondered about how much of that powerful sensation had to do with the girl's use of magick and his mother's own lack of use.

Now he was wondering why he'd blocked this memory from his mind; of his mother talking about and approving of an unknown witch for him. The only answer he could come up with was that he'd already attached himself to Lily and refused to acknowledge anyone else.

Startled out of his thoughts he looked up at the birds chirping in the Flowering Dogwood, with branches growing gracefully horizontal and providing shade over the small courtyard.

He was still shocked at his discovery of the new look of the land surrounding the house. Spinner's End was essentially a concrete jungle, he'd believed that anyone stepping outside of his house, would think they'd stepped into a magickal woodland surrounding a small castle.

It was touching, the level of Elven magick Winky and the other house-elves had put into his new home, but this was… had been, _humiliating_. He, Severus Snape, was no Lord… well, not yet… but he was NOT one for posturing!

As much as he acted like it and - through his aristocratic mien - looked like it, all who really knew him would believe, by seeing his new home, that he lay claim to Pureblood inclinations.

To make matters worse, Winky had named his house Snape Manor and had connected this land, magickally, to the Prince estate; accessible through the garden and into Mystic Grove, on a worn path with large weeping willows lining both sides.

The path remained blocked, though, until his inheritance was released to him in the next five years. For now, that path led - like the other marked paths - to nowhere but through the wards surrounding Snape Manor and onto Spinner's End.

He'd questioned Winky about the birds and other small animals that lived in the woods, wondering if they were a part of the magick, but the elf had assured him that the woods and animals were real.

His jaw had dropped when she'd paused in making lunch and explained it to him.

" **Snape Manor is now in the same realm as the Prince Estate. Master's home is not really at Spinner's End anymore, anyone not invited by Master Snape Sir will only see the old house and it would be empty. Not like Hogwarts, where there are only wards to hide the castle. Master's home is safer in this place."**

" **What about owl posts? I do need to keep in contact with the outside world no matter how much I would prefer otherwise."**

" **Master can reset the wards on the owl portal," she pointed to a circular window that seemed to be open to the outside, "for owls he knows, but for now Master will need to exit the wards through the front door to get into the living room on Spinner's End."**

" **This is beginning to get frustrating. If this isn't Spinner's End, where am I? Does this realm have a name?"**

" **Master be in the Ancestral Realm."**

 **Winky went on to explain to him that most of the ancient magickal bloodlines - Prewett, Black, Longbottom and others - had ancestral homes here in this realm, even the Hogwarts founders and older.**

And now Snape, he thought as he rose from his seat in the courtyard. He never knew just how powerful house-elves were; they were the ones that placed the family they served under the protection of different realms. As the centuries passed, that knowledge was distorted and forgotten, placing house-elves on the bottom rung of the magickal community.

In the kitchen, he made himself some coffee and went to his study in the library to finalise the modules of his classes for the rest of the semester.

Later that evening while sitting at his opulent desk and exhausted from exploring the three different forests on his land - Mystic Grove, Wandering Wilds and Solitary Woods - then writing for hours, it suddenly hit him exactly how much Winky had actually done for him; his life was heading for the better and he hadn't even received his inheritance yet. He would still struggle financially for a while but things were looking up.

Severus vowed that he would learn more about her kind and treat Winky with the respect house-elves really deserved. Ending the spell on the Lumos Ball hovering over the desk, he retreated upstairs to his bedroom unaware of the ancient magick he'd performed with his vow about his house-elf and the barrier broken between him and Winky.

Settling down for the night, he was almost asleep when he remembered that it was Yuletide Eve, and groaned.

"Winky." He mumbled, not bothering to sit up as he was just on the cusp of sleep.

"Yes, Master Severus," Winky answered somewhere out of sight. Of course, he hadn't bothered to get up or open his eyes.

"Please deliver those gifts for me as discreetly as possible," he yawned and snuggled into his soft mattress, "and you can take time off tomorrow if you want, I can manage."

"Of course, Master Severus, but it is my duty and privilege to take care of the noble members of the House of Snape." Then with a twinkling giggle, she was gone with a fluttering sound.

Too tired and sleepy, Severus was unaware of anything different about this interaction with Winky and soon drifted off to sleep.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

The tantalising aroma of cooked bacon, eggs and strong coffee was a temptation that roused Severus from the comforts of Hypnos the next morning. The stirring notes of a songbird just outside his open window made his lips twitch. It had been an impossible dream of his as a boy on Spinner's End, wanting to wake to the sound of birds.

He'd completed his ablutions slowly to enjoy the jungle atmosphere. Strolling into the kitchen, he cast a wandless drying charm on his still dripping hair. He stopped and stared at the strange sight before him for a few seconds before immediately summoning his wand from the invisible holster on his arm.

A creature the size of a house elf with large gossamer wings flittered back and forth between his stove and the dining table, conjuring breakfast.

"Who are you?" His voice was pitched low and dangerous, his wand trained on the small being zipping all over his kitchen.

The creature turned at his voice and he noted the large almond shaped brown eyes, caramel skin and cinnamon coloured hair pulled into a messy bun. The being looked almost childlike except for the fact that it wore an indecently short fitted dress that showed off an extremely feminine form with slim, graceful limbs.

"Master Severus," she said in a silvery voice, as she fluttered over to stand in front of him, "I am Winky."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

 **A/N 22-10-2017 - For those still confused about _how_ Xhara ended up in her predicament, the direct answer is a few chapters away and the clue is a few chapters back. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, is following and has favourited this story, I appreciate you all. Six chapters remain, so I will be posting once a day from now until the end.**

Awareness came slowly, the faint tendrils of a soon-to-be-forgotten dream lingered on the peripheral of the mind's eye.

Pain, fear and anger.

Those were the first hints of emotion she felt upon waking, yet a murky fog still clouded her mind and understanding was slow to come. Xhara went to shift her position on the bed and froze when her body protested. Her memories came rushing back, she bit back a whimper but a tear slipped from the corner of her eyes.

Two days it had been since she'd locked herself in her dorm room with Ari. Winky was the only one allowed in, bringing her food at the required times… not that she ate. At one point she'd remembered to ask the house-elf to inform Professor Vector - who'd taken over Ravenclaw Head of House duties until Professor Flitwick returned - that she was resting after accidentally exhausting her magick training with her familiar; hoping that Vector wouldn't check on her and try to send her to the hospital wing. So far she'd been lucky.

Curled into a fetal position on her bed, she blinked the tears away and stared warily at Ari who was pacing with only a few steps between her bed and the exit to go down to the common room. He hadn't spoken or sized down into Daemon since bringing her to the dorm room two mornings ago.

There was a phial of her healing potion on the pillow beside her - she remembered conjuring it from the separate storage in her trunk the previous evening - and making a decision, she levitated it over to the night stand with a swish of a finger and closed her eyes; returning to a fitful sleep.

Ari paced restlessly, and when Xhara finally gave in to another healing sleep, the conflicting emotions he'd been feeling eased somewhat. He slumped to the floor, resting his head on his front paws and gazed at the human that raised him; his Witch Mother.

His tail twitched along the floor, luckily there was nothing nearby to knock over.

Her cheeks were still wet from the tears she'd cried only moments ago and his keen nostrils could still scent the faint traces of her blood and the Claim of the wizard was all over her. She was still too sore to move and take a full bath and so she did a Hygiene Spell, but magick couldn't hide those scents, at least, not from him.

Ari hadn't even felt her distress; he'd only become aware of her hurt when he'd scented her near the Ravenclaw Tower in the early hours of the morning. He'd raced outside as Ari, to find her at the bottom of the stairs trying to crawl up; upon seeing him, she changed to Aj'Iya and without a word or thought he held her at the scruff of her neck and took her to her room then released her on the bed.

He would have left then to go hunting, but she quickly changed back and locked down the room before fainting away. He wanted to kill the wizard that dared to defile his Aj'Iya, who was technically now his cub. While he had reached adulthood within a short period, his Witch Mother was still a cub in his eyes and also the eyes of the humans.

It didn't matter to him the ritual she'd performed to protect him years ago, she was just a cub!

He understood that the wizard was her male, but Ari couldn't ease his rampaging emotions. At Uagadou, this wizard had been nothing but a dream, something easily ignored and forgotten. But here at Hogwarts, the dream - the wizard - was a reality that was changing his Witch Mother.

Now that they were at the point he always feared, would his Aj'Iya abandon him when she realised that with her wizard, she would no longer need his protection or companionship? Ari huffed and groaned, irritated with his treacherous thoughts. Pushing them from his mind, he settled down for another bout of rest.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Xhara woke again a few hours later and a glance out the window told her it was late evening. Fed up of her anguish, she gingerly pushed herself into a seated position. Her body wasn't in as much pain as before, thanks to her magick easing some of her muscle aches over time, but moving was still agonising.

She smiled sadly when a giant head came to rest on her lap. Twisting to face him she lay her cheek on the soft fur between his closed eyes.

 _ **:I'm going to be okay, I promise:**_

She got no reply.

 _ **:Please don't hurt him Ari, he didn't know:**_

 _ ***It was not your time for such ventures. He hurt you and took something by force that he should have earned. Honour dictates that I slay him for harming the human under my protection.***_

"He didn't know…" she whispered, her voice raspy and weak.

 _ ***How many more of these foolish wizards do I have to spare for harming you?***_

She thought there was nothing left, but at his words, a tear slipped from her and soaked into his fur.

"I was just terrified at first. Someone dropped a strange potion at my feet; I was about to leave after brewing my extra credits potions but it knocked me out. It was my fault, I used magick to get rid of it, but the potion was created to react to magick and it exploded. I woke up to… him, I-I-I didn't know it was him at first. My movements were so sluggish, I could barely think and I felt so weak. I couldn't fight…"

She stopped to bite back a sob. Her wailing wasn't going to help Ari to calm down.

"A part of me - I think it was an effect of the potion - kept saying to _give up, give in and relax_ but I kept fighting it. Now all I could think is that if I'd been found by someone else with the wrong intentions… what could have happened."

 _ ***He still took advantage of your weakness, even if he found you. Why didn't he take you to the healer-witch?***_

"I don't think he found me Ari, he'd left Hogwarts for the holiday remember."

 _ ***That only means he came back for you when you least expected him.***_

"Ari, he didn't and still doesn't know that it was me. He thought I was the Astronomy Professor. I think…" she swallowed thickly, "I think someone put me there, maybe they were trying to get me, or him, into trouble?"

Ari gave a snort that was a blast of hot air on her stomach.

 _ ***I got a whiff of that female. There is no way in hell he should have made such a mistake. If what you say is true, he should figure it out in time though.***_

"The Bonding was affecting him for a long while, I don't blame him. At least he found some release…"

 _ ***What the… ! THAT won't be happening again until he courts you as he should! Now, will you please go to the healer-witch.***_

"I can't, Madame Pomfrey will know what happened and be able to identify him from his… you know. He'll be fired and I don't want that, he didn't do anything wrong."

 _ ***I disagree, but won't you at least take a potion for your pain. Please Xhara, for my peace-of-mind.***_

Raising her head from his muzzle, she summoned the phial from the nightstand. Since it would be the first test of the last batch she'd worked on, she took a quarter teaspoon of her potion. Its effect was not as instantaneous as previous batches.

While the use of the potion had been reduced to a quarter teaspoon, it's healing effects had slowed, she still had the bruises but at least the pain was slowly fading. Disappointment didn't last long as the thought of returning to her research and experimenting cheered her a bit.

Ari's head was still in her lap and she placed a kiss between his violet hued eyes as he blinked at her.

 _ ***You really don't blame him?***_

Xhara thought before she spoke, absently playing with a large ear flap.

"Not anymore I don't. At first, when I snuck away from his quarters and came back here, I did."

Ari sat up to face her, knowing that she needed to say the words.

"I was angry that he wasn't as vigilant as I knew he could be. I was angry that he'd been drunk, and when he called me by that woman's name after… everything…"

She sat at the side of the bed, her feet barely touching the floor and wrapped her arms around herself.

"I felt - I _feel_ \- cheated, I've known Sev since I was seven years old, I spent our entire friendship trying to get him to acknowledge _me_. Since coming here and learning that we're soulmates, I just assumed that _now_ he'll finally know me, he'd know that I've always loved him and finally… _finally,_ he'd love me back."

There was a tightness in her chest but she was grateful that at least there were no more tears.

"I was so stupid! He knows that I'm his soulmate and he's still after another female. When will I learn Ari? When do I stop inviting torment and rejection from him?"

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Xhara was in the girls' bath an hour later, relaxing under the powerful stream of warm water from the showerhead, when she felt a strange tingling sensation on her scalp which then proceeded to trickle down her face.

Alarmed at the feeling of being pierced by thousands of needles on her face and eyes, she transfigured the shower tiles into mirrors. She slowly opened her eyes that had been squeezed shut and they widened; her heart raced at what she was seeing. Her hair, which normally reached past her shoulders when wet, had grown about five to eight inches and now hung long and thick just past the middle of her back.

She winced in discomfort and watched speechless as her eyes, which had been showing physical signs of her crying, whitened and brightened considerably and the reddened rims cleared. Her lips which had been bruised and cracked after Sev's ravishing were suddenly healed, softened and plumped full and luscious.

The tingling travelled lower and the realisation hit her then, her potion was doing its job, even better than it did before. Her hair had never grown after testing previously and her skin never glowed like it did now without the help of her beauty potions. Xhara watched - and was surprised to feel disappointment - as the love bites and their associated pain on her neck faded to nothing. Her shoulders drooped as the tension left her neck; she'd been unaware of the pain there.

Suddenly as it had started, the healing stopped after the marks on her neck faded. She finished her shower using a loofah to scrub away three nights of grime, sighing in bliss as the warm water helped ease the rest of her muscle aches, before returning to her room.

Styling her hair took more time than usual, as she got used to oiling and conditioning her extra long curls; combing her fingers lovingly through it to detangle. With the skills of experience and long hours of practice, she cornrowed her hair into two cute braids and pinned the ends into a low bun.

Xhara dressed in a beige turtleneck sweater and slipped on a pair of leggings to wear under a pair of dark jeans, pulling her knee high black boots over them. Throwing on a black cloak with a pearl-coloured lining and assured that the bruises on her arms were covered completely, she left with Daemon at her side, to attend Christmas Eve dinner in the Great Hall.

She was on the ground floor, walking toward the Great Hall when she gasped and steadied herself by leaning on the wall near a painting of a concerned fourteenth-century couple. The pins and needles had started again, and now her sore nipples ached; she turned to the wall, resting her forehead against it and cupped them until the pain went away.

 _ ***What is it? What is wrong Xhara?***_

She gasped and ignored Daemon's query. The wizard in the painting had slinked away in embarrassment while the witch tried to give her corset advice.

God, she never thought a healing potion could bring so much pain!

"Miss Diya are you alright?" A hand on her shoulder turned her gently to face Professor Vector, her usually stern features showed her concern.

Xhara thought quickly as she breathed through her discomfort, "It's my monthlies Professor, I thought I was well enough to come down for dinner but it snuck up on me."

Professor Vector nodded in understanding and conjured a healing potion, handing it to her. "This is from my own personal stores, go back to your common room to rest and I'll send some dinner with a house-elf."

"Yes, Professor and thank you."

"Do you have everything, or do you need anything else?"

Grasping the full meaning of the question, Xhara shook her head, "I have a few stored in my trunk."

The professor nodded, "Get some rest dear," and she walked away, her garnet robes swishing around her ankles.

 _ ***Come, I will help you to our room.***_ Daemon Ari said as he grew tall enough for her to lean on if she needed to stop on their way back.

For the entire walk back to her common room, she felt the potion working lower and unfortunately becoming more painful than uncomfortable. Sweat beaded her brow and she breathed deep breaths trying to ride the waves of pain.

Reaching her and Luna's room, she realised that she had a tight grip on Daemon Ari and was hunched over; the pain in her abdomen had become so unbearable her mind had blanked.

 _ ***Xhara, what can I do, should I get the healer-witch?***_

She shook her head and tried to climb into the bed but a stabbing pain drove her to her knees instead; she clutched at the comforter that was dragged from the bed, unable to hold back a sob. Her mind raced with what could possibly be causing her pain.

Her potion shouldn't cause discomfort or pain; she ran through the mental list of her potion's ingredients while comparing them to the effect the potion had since taking it. She'd either successfully completed her potion and overdosed herself or, one of the ingredients was dominant in a way it shouldn't be, and the last ingredient caught her attention. It was the same ingredient she was currently waiting for from Mentor Roh to present to Sev, an Ancient Egyptian herb long thought to be extinct by the kosiidan.

Silphium… oh no…

"No, no, nooo…"

 _ ***Aj'Iya please tell me what is wrong!***_ Daemon Ari batted a paw at her legs, tempted to take his full form and hunt for help, she was in distress and he didn't know what to do.

" _Evoco Essence of Maca_." Her voice weak and filled with pain, Daemon Ari knew Xhara was afraid; she never conjured anything verbally, his witch-mother had passed that stage of her education long ago.

Xhara whimpered when the potion didn't appear before her and as the pain crept lower, just above her pelvic area she knew nothing would help anymore. It was too late…

The knowledge that her vital organs were now healthier than they were the day she was born did nothing to ease the despair of what she had just lost. The pain ventured lower, and her vision blurred as self-hatred sat in her heart for taking a potion so carelessly without thinking of the consequences. Now, he or she was never going to be-

Ari was already out of the common room to seek the help of the healer-witch when he caught the scent of blood. He never saw his witch-mother sway and slump the rest of the way to the floor; he would get help whether she liked it or not.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

By the time Ari returned to the room, with a terrified Madame Pomfrey trailing a 'safe' distance behind him, Xhara was already tucked into her bed fast asleep, and any sign of bleeding or pain was gone from her body.

He stood close to her sleeping form and nudged her with his head, which was almost a hard shove and she woke immediately with a groan.

 _ ***Aj'Iya are you okay, what happened?***_

"Miss Diya are you ill?" Madame Pomfrey asked, ignoring her fear as she pulled her wand and began running diagnostics when Daemon jumped on the bed to the other side of Xhara, giving the mediwitch room to work. Xhara's answer was a moan and a request to go back to sleep.

"Hmmm, I can't find anything wrong except for a fever; you're amazingly healthy… your magickal core is… this is rarely ever heard of. Your magickal core is at dangerously high levels for someone your age, you're not old enough to control this amount of power. Hence the fever you're currently fighting."

She helped the girl into a seated position and gave her a fever reducing potion before she settled down again.

"Have you learned how to open and close the major seven points of magick within yourself Miss Diya?" At a nod from Xhara, she continued, "Very good, I suggest that when the fever reducer starts working, that you close each point and reopen them to a level you can control. Something caused your magickal core to well… flood or spill over and since it will be too dangerous for you - and others - to syphon off the excess, reining it in is your only option."

She checked the girl's temperature to ensure the potion was working and finding that it was looked at the child sternly.

"Now Miss Diya, did you take anything that might have caused this overflow?"

Xhara was ready for the question and nodded, "I took a magick replenishing potion before I realised I didn't need it today," at Madame Pomfrey's gasp of outrage she continued in a rush, "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I share my magick with Daemon all the time and it became a habit to take it before or after lunch."

"Well from now on, it's straight to me if you need a magick replenisher young lady until you learn to be more careful."

"Yes, ma'am."

As the mediwitch left reminding her to meditate on her magical core, Daemon gazed at her questioningly.

 _ ***How are you better? You were in pain and bleeding.***_

"I don't know, I remember passing out from the pain then waking up to you shoving me. Maybe a house-elf helped me, no one else can get in except a teacher and they wouldn't have left without informing Madame Pomfrey and Luna's not here."

She watched as Daemon scented the air and he thought one word.

 _ ***Winky.***_

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Jingle bells…?

Xhara woke from a deep sleep, feeling better than she had for the past few days and her fever was gone after her meditation before falling asleep; but why was she hearing jingle bells?

It was coming from the foot of her bed.

 _ ***Is it a toy? It sounds like a toy. Can I have it if it's a toy?***_

"Merry Yuletide to you as well my bestest-best friend," she said over Daemon's excited chatter and ruffled his fur, grinning at the picture he made, sitting at the end of her bed with his ears cocked toward her pile of presents, his tail twitching in his excitement. The jingling was just a charm to alert her to the pile of gifts.

Opening her trunk, she pulled out the brand new large plush toy she'd bought in Hogsmeade and activated the charm. Placing it on the floor she watched as the fluffy jarvey started running around and spoke with a recording of her voice.

"Come on Daemon, come and catch me!"

Xhara laughed aloud as Daemon shot off the bed to pounce on the running toy. Ignoring her gifts for the moment, she rushed through her ablutions and unbraided her hair and left it free. Biting into a strawberry she started opening her gifts, the first was from Luna who'd given her a giant pulsing gemstone that began to play soft instrumental, kosiidan Christmas music when she touched it. There was a letter attached, which she opened.

 _My dear friend,_

 _I hope the holiday finds you well._

 _Daddy wanted to take me on a trip to find_

 _The 'Crumpled Horned Snorkack' and I had to sit him_

 _Down for a long discussion. He took it harder than I thought._

 _I guess holding on to my 'delusions' was as much_

 _Of a way for him to cope with losing my mum as it was for me._

 _Things are better now though, we redecorated the house_

 _And planned a small get-together for New Years Eve._

 _I do wish you'd accepted my invitation to spend the holidays_

 _with my dad and me but I guess he and I needed to start over,_

 _or better yet, move on with our lives._

 _Do you think, if you asked, the Headmaster would_

 _Let you use the Floo to come for the get-together?_

 _Neville and Harry are coming and_

 _I still think you and Neville could have tried_

 _to make your deeper relationship last longer, but_

 _I understand that you both prefer friendship and as_

 _long as you two are happy, then I will stop insisting._

 _Harry told me I was worrying too much,_

 _and he warned me about getting too pushy, like Hermione._

 _I didn't talk to him for a few hours,_

 _but it gave me enough time to understand his reasoning._

 _He can be really insightful at times,_

 _It's one of the reasons I love him. He and daddy are_

 _setting up the tree right now, and_

 _they're both going Crazy-Christmas-Elf_

 _with the tinsel, so I'll be going now._

 _Oh yes! The stone is activated by touch but I guess_

 _you'd have already figured that out. Let me know_

 _if you'll be allowed to come on New Year's Eve._

 _Merry Yuletide!_

 _Luna._

Placing the stone next to the Heliopath statue, she opened the gift from Neville which was a new Herbology text _Phytomorphology: An Illustrated Guide To Magickal Plants_. His note was a short one.

 _Dear Xhara,_

 _Merry Yuletide, I know you already understand_

 _the connection between Herbology and Potions so I_

 _decided to get you this book._

 _Since you plan to pursue your mastery in_

 _Potions and Alchemy, I hope it helps,_

 _at least with the plant based ingredients._

 _Luna invited me to her and her father's get-together._

 _Will you be able to come? Write me when you know._

 _Neville._

 _P.S. I'm thinking about doing either the Bond Cutting or_

 _The Withdrawal ritual and I could use you guys' opinions,_

 _Especially yours. We'll talk more at school,_

 _unless you can make it to the get together._

A shiver of apprehension ran through her at the thought of the rituals Neville mentioned; she understood his need for advice, but in the end, only he could make the decision. Both Neville and Ginny would lose, and only Neville would know what he had lost. Ginevra Weasley, for some unfortunate reason, didn't give a damn about Neville and wouldn't care about losing him.

Harry had gotten her The Yuletide Edition - Dark Choco Balls and a tall black bottle of Spiked Gillywater, she laughed at the added ingredient, a Calming Draught. She read his small note and smiled.

 _The chocolate is to apologise_

 _for all those times I thought you were_

 _sweet on me. My only excuse, I'm a Gryffindor!_

 _Luna did something to them and_

 _she wouldn't tell me what._

 _The Spiked Gillywater is for_

 _When I put my foot in my mouth._

 _Happy Christmas!_

 _Harry._

She tasted one of the Choco Balls and smirked; she took another from the box and turned to her familiar, now wrestling with the jarvey toy.

"Daemon, catch!" She threw the Firewhiskey-filled ball to him, which he caught in his mouth. "Merry Yuletide, from Luna."

The next gift, a large box, was wrapped in normal christmas wrapping paper - no moving snowmen or falling snowflakes - so she knew it was from her mother. Tears burned behind her eyes as she read the letter attached.

 _To my Xhara_

 _First, I want to apologise for the_

 _things I said to you before you left for school._

 _You were right, I am not and have never been_

 _like your daddy, but I wanted to comfort you_

 _and obviously I didn't know how. Then I found out_

 _about you and your daddy's experiments,_

 _and I lashed out in a way no mother should._

 _Even though your daddy and I were kosiidan,_

 _as you call us, your daddy embraced your world_

 _more than I ever could and I guess I felt left out,_

 _which was my own fault. Your magick_

 _has been hurting you since you were a little girl,_

 _and I wanted to protect you from it like I always used to._

 _I was wrong._

 _Your daddy's death was not your fault, it was mine._

 _While you were at school he continued your_

 _experiments and requested my help._

 _I refused because I didn't want to give him any encouragement_

 _to push you further away, into a world where_

 _he and I could never follow._

 _I hope one day you can forgive me for my failure. Your_

 _Mama Diya gave me some things_

 _that he left and a letter that he wrote for you_

 _while he was in the hospital._

 _I love you honey and I miss my baby girl._

 _Mum._

Xhara had to stop to splash water on her tear streaked face in the bathroom before she could look through the contents of the box. She made a mental note to reply to her mother first, as there was no way she would allow her mother to continue the blaming game.

Her father had been an anthropologist who practised biochemistry as a hobby, or was it the other way around? She could never figure it out as her father had loved both professions equally and was always excited by any findings whether old or new. His mind was blown when she brought Daemon home…

 _Daddy, was just being daddy when he died. He always said that his work would be the death of him._

The box contained letters her dad wrote at the hospital those months he was there, and these she put aside to read later. There were blank journals he'd planned on sending her for her birthday in earth tones and black; lotions and hair products her mother had made especially for her, and a comforter Mama Diya had knitted for her with protective sigils stitched into each corner.

She received a gorgeous raven feather Self-Inking Quill from her Head of House, apparently, he gifts it to all his fifth years and up, and though she was a fourth-year, she was going into sixth year next September. There was one more box that was heavy and unmarked. Not finding any hazardous spells attached to it, she opened the plainly wrapped box; old memories assailed her as she stared in awe at the gift before her.

 **Her soul had just settled into Lily's body, and eight-year-old Xhara immediately searched for Sev knowing that he was always nearby. She spotted him sitting under a tree reading a book.**

 **She stopped for a moment to take in his appearance and her heart ached. Making a quick decision, she checked Lily's pockets and found that the girl had some money stashed there. She turned away - unaware that Sev had been staring at her through his hair - and ran to the grocer's she knew was nearby.**

 **By the time she returned with a brown paper bag, Sev was gone. Her shoulders slumped in disappointment and she cursed her stupidity running off without saying anything. Clutching the bag to her, she sat under the same tree where Sev had been, and looked off into the direction she believed his house was, hoping he would come back.**

 **A muffled sound behind the tree caught her attention and getting up with the bag, she walked around the base of the huge tree to find Sev sitting on the other side, wiping his sleeve across his face.**

" **Sev!" she raced to his side, sat on the ground next to him and threw her arm around his neck, the both of them nearly falling over with how hard she'd leant into him. "I thought you'd left."**

" **Lily!"**

 **Xhara quickly pulled away but smiled anyway. "I went to the grocer's, I thought we could have a picnic as it's so nice out."**

 **Sev's face was still red from her overwhelming hug.**

" **My mum's still being nice and feeding me," he said, a shy but happy smile on his face, "but what did you get anyway?"**

 **Xhara had gotten fruits she knew he liked, sandwiches, mince pies, two fizzy fruit drinks, and water. After they'd eaten their fill, they sat silently for a bit.**

" **Mum wants to meet you!"**

 **Xhara started at his sudden and loud announcement and his face reddened yet again. "Will you come? My father won't be home until really late."**

 **Xhara smiled and nodded, Sev seemed as though he expected her to refuse as he smiled in relief. Usually, she would have returned to her body for rest once she knew he was okay, but more and more she found she wanted to stay with him for longer periods.**

 **Xhara slipped her hand into his and smiled at his surprised look before they walked toward his home on Spinner's End.**

 **Eileen Snape looked at her son fondly as he taught his little friend how to slice motherwort correctly for a healing potion she was teaching them to brew.**

 **After her son had introduced the girl as Lily, Eileen had asked him to bring out her special cauldron for the potion she was making. Once he was gone Eileen knelt in front of her.**

" **What is your name dear?"**

 **Xhara's eyes had widened, and her smile was tremulous as she fought back relieved tears.**

" **My name is Xhara, Mrs Snape."**

 **Eileen smiled as she shook the little hand again and offered to teach her to brew a simple healing potion, simple but potent.**

 **The instant Xhara first laid eyes on the 'special' cauldron she'd fallen in love with it, proclaiming to Sev and his mum that when she was old enough she was going to buy a cauldron just like it with the matching stirrer and all.**

 **Eileen smiled at the pair now talking about Hogwarts classes and houses, actually, Sev was talking about Hogwarts while Xhara listened intently before asking worriedly if anyone from anywhere can go to Hogwarts.**

 **After they'd bottled the finished healing potion and Sev had carefully taken the cauldron back to the hidden space in his room, Eileen had sat on the small garden bench and indicated for Xhara to sit next to her.**

" **Where do you live Xhara?"**

" **Garden City in Cairo, ma'am."**

" **You've 'travelled' quite a distance dear… thank you child; without your intervention, I would not be now enjoying my magick once again and with my son. If I do not see you again, please, be patient with Severus. I fear he's inherited his father's ability to be willingly blind to, or refuse to appreciate, anything precious given to him. Unlike his father though, no matter how long it takes my son can learn."**

 **Little Xhara wasn't a Ravenclaw for nothing, she understood perfectly Mrs Snape's meaning and nodded. Severus soon joined them and Eileen asked if they'd enjoyed the tutoring.**

" **I loved it, Mrs Snape," Xhara gushed, her eyes bright and her borrowed cheeks flushed, "especially your cauldron, I never knew they made cauldrons of crystal, though."**

" **To get the best healing potions possible, it's wisest to use a crystal cauldron as it amplifies any magick imbued into the potion…"**

Severus Snape had sent her his mother's crystal cauldron, it's matching stirrer nestled in the holder made for it on the side. Xhara experienced a rush of pleasure at the gift, but then the full implications of what this meant hit her like a tonne of bricks.

He knew!


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

After the shock of Winky's new look and her ridiculously heightened magickal abilities wore off, Severus had his breakfast before he turned to his pile of gifts. He'd tried to get her to confide the extent of her magick but all she could say was that it was forbidden for her to divulge secrets of the High Elves.

"Can you give me an average? Say, the difference between you and a house-elf."

"The distance between High Elves and Common Elves is too great to be measured. I am better than I was before Master Severus, that is all I can safely tell you."

He focused on the first gift on the coffee table in front of him which was from the Headmaster. It was a bottle of Specialty Elf-Made Wine, he paused before looking through the box for the pair of colourful socks he usually got from Albus, but all he found was a short note.

 _Got the idea from a student._

 _Happy Christmas._

 _Albus._

Glaring at the bottle he noticed the labelling; under the words, _Elf-Made Wine_ were the words _with Calming Draught_. Rolling his eyes but still pleased with the gift, he placed it on the side table next to his Dragon Barrel Brandy. McGonagall had given him a handsomely made scarf.

 _For when it's cold down there in those dungeons_.

 _Minerva._

His gift from Hagrid was the most appreciated out of all the teachers; a box full of potions ingredients he'd collected from his treks into the Forbidden Forest. There was Unicorn and Acromantula Hair, Venom - probably from Aragog - Runespoor Skin, Ashwinder Eggs, Fairy Wings and others. His next gift was a singing plant, the _Chante Flora Lilium._ The note with it was as short as the others.

 _Thanks again professor and I'm really sorry I thought you were evil._

 _Happy Christmas._

 _Harry Potter._

He Incendioed the note but kept the plant, as it could be used as a potion ingredient. Sinistra gave him a book on Pleasing Your Witch and he immediately tossed it aside but kept eyeing it every few minutes. The next gift he left for last because it was beautifully wrapped in Yuletide Slytherin colours and was heavier than even Hagrid's box of goodies.

It was a blank grimoire to note any spells or potions he created. The cover was guarded by an embossed image of a basilisk currently with its eyes closed in sleep until he cast a protective charm that would allow the great snake to open its eyes, freezing any intruder in place - almost like petrification - who may try to open the book. As that was only a basic spell, once he added his own wards to it, the book would be impenetrable.

Severus was glad he'd already been seated; as he lifted the grimoire his breath left him when he caught sight of another book beneath it, and a wave of dizziness passed over his eyes as he read the name of the text before him.

 _God Realm Magick - The Triad Of Ta'Mera - Potions of Healing, Bewitching, Poisons and Defence_

Of course, this wasn't the actual name of the book. When the books were found - all three separated among the sarcophagi, to be guarded by each of the Gods of the Triad - Egyptian Magi had been shocked when they realised that the hieroglyphs predated Ancient Egyptian writings. The English translation of the hieroglyphs, were as close to the true titles as they were ever going to get.

The implications of what he held so reverently on his lap - it was an extremely weighty tome - if he could duplicate the magick contained within its pages, he'd be the wealthiest Potions Master in the world. If he remembered correctly there were two other tomes from the Triad that completed the trio of texts. There was a letter lying on the first page when he opened the book.

 _Severus,_

 _It is with great difficulty that I write this, my final letter to you._

 _There is only one thing I've ever wanted_

 _and that was your happiness._

 _From what I've heard and observed for myself_

 _you are well on your way to achieving this without_

 _any assistance from me. It would still please me greatly if you_

 _would accept this ancient tome of the_

 _Triad of Abydos in Ta'Mera on Potions._

 _I possess another and am currently tracking the last. I'm sure you_

 _know of the other two that should be_

 _attached to the one now in your possession;_

 _God Realm Magick - The Triad Of Ta'Mera - Elixirs Of All_

 _(I'm still reeling that there are elixirs of life for ALL_

 _living things) and the last;_

 _God Realm Magick - The Triad Of Ta'Mera - Words Of Power._

 _I wish only the best for you Sev, really_

 _and I just..._

 _Yuletide Blessings Severus, goodbye._

 _Yours Always. Secret Admirer._

He remembered his mother and Sarah-Lily having a discussion about these books; he didn't need any more hints, to know that 'Sarah-Lily' was Xhara Diya and he'd lost her before he'd even known he'd had her affections.

No! He refused to let things end so easily; the holidays would be over soon and he'd be returning to Hogwarts on the first of January. They needed to settle this soulmate bond once and for all. Guilt crept in when he thought of what he'd done with Sinistra a few nights ago but he shook it off; he and the girl would start afresh once school resumed and when she graduated from Hogwarts he would officially court her.

With a solid plan in mind, he eagerly turned to the first chapter of the book and remained enthralled by its contents for the rest of the day.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

The Yule breakfast in the Great Hall felt strange and was completely different from spending the holidays at home. Xhara felt a pang of guilt; she'd been trying to avoid any more confrontations with her mother, and she'd left her alone with grandma for company.

What's done is done; she'd already written her mother before she came down for breakfast, apologising for leaving her alone with a nagging and eccentric grandmother. As for the crystal cauldron, she'd hastily closed the box, shrunk it and placed it in her trunk. She'd thought of returning it to Sev, aware that this was something that should pass down through generations, and then she thought of the God Realm tome she'd given to him and relented. She would never ask Sev to return it as it was a part of herself she wanted him to have, and he didn't seem to be the kind of man to take back a gift.

Mentor Roh had shown her the magickal ancestry of her father's side of the family, and it was her wish for the name Diya to return to glory in the magickal world. It was already on her list to request the aid of the Goblins, if there was land, a house or any type of an inheritance she could claim at some point, she and Sev would never have to….

Xhara cut her thoughts off from going in the direction they always went; thoughts of building a life with Severus Snape had become so common since coming to Hogwarts, the idea of living without him drained her willingness to pursue a successful life and career.

With the hope that one day she could break herself of that habit, she looked around at the decorations as she savoured her bacon and eggs. The Great Hall was decorated with twelve magickal evergreen trees with enchanted snow falling around each one; fairy lights blinked throughout from the greenery.

Jacob, a second year Hufflepuff who she'd gotten to know before 'The Potion Incident' - as she was calling her encounter with Sev from now on - engaged her in a conversation about animagi which lasted until the end of breakfast. There was a sleigh ride with the thestrals prepared, to take the students around Hogsmeade and then a snowball fight, but Xhara declined. The idea of riding around in freezing temperatures and getting hit by cold, wet balls didn't sound like fun to her yet. Maybe after a few years… _not_!

She took that time to get permission from the Headmaster about Luna's invitation, which he granted with the request that she let mother know of her intention. On her way back to the dorm room, she met Daemon returning from a much-needed hunt after skipping it for the last few days.

 _ ***Are you going to join them on the sleigh ride?***_

 _:No, I want to catch up on my studying… right after I catch up on some light reading:_ She thought this to him so casually, he looked at her in disbelief and worry.

 _ ***Don't forget what Roh said about using the spells in that tome, you're not magickally strong enough yet and I'm not in the mood to scrape you up off the floor again!***_

 _:I'm just going to read the theories and preparations, Daemon, stop worrying. Besides, I don't want anything to go wrong the first time I get to use a Word of Power; do you have any idea how life changing that's going to be? I'm not about to mess this up:_

In the dorm room, Xhara piled her books and parchment on the table at the study area while Daemon curled up on the bed to sleep. She sent a quick note to her mother about her plans to visit Luna before lounging on the soft cushions with her God Realm tome.

It was during her make-up essays and studies for her missed fifth-year classwork a few hours later, that she thought of a solution to the problem with her elixir, and the solution now lay shrunken in her trunk.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you… and Daemon?"

It was nearing lunch at Luna's home and Xhara had been invited to come over early to spend the entire day. Luna noticed that her friend was quieter than normal and Daemon kept staring daggers at her father, keeping himself between Xenophilius and Xhara. The boys weren't expected for another two or three hours, and Luna wanted her best friend comfortable and happy in her home.

Luna had decided to take her on a tour of the gardens, both magickal and hybrid-muggle, surrounding their home. They sat on a beautiful handmade bench made of logs, under a canopy of flowers.

Luna's gaze was more intense and searching than Xhara had ever seen, and she bit her lip at the guilt filling her. She hadn't wanted to spoil the day with her friend.

"Something happened a few days before Christmas and I'm not sure how to feel about it, but what happened is not the only thing that's confusing me. I got a gift from… Professor Snape; something that tells me he knows who I am."

"You don't sound as happy as I'd thought you'd be."

"Someone dosed me with the Otium Raptus potion and I somehow ended up in his bed; put there most likely by whoever threw the potion at me. He was drunk, it was dark and he called me Aurora." Xhara's speech was rushed and shaky, and it took a while for Luna to figure out the garbled story, then her eyes filled with tears as she held on to her sobbing friend.

Later that evening and the evening after that, Xhara would come to realise that her sorrow paled in comparison to Neville's.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

 **A.N. - This chapter contains mentions of suicide/suicide attempt.**

Xhara had returned some time ago from her visit with Luna, to find that Severus had returned to the castle as well. She longed to go to her Potions Glade and brew away her frustration and warring emotions, but the sun had already set and dinner would begin soon.

The cheetah lounged on a rock at the edge of the lake. The wind rustled the leaves of the trees behind her, and she sighed as she looked up at the castle in the evening light.

He was in there somewhere, she thought to herself and groaned in frustration as she shuffled around to face the Forbidden Forest instead, just in time to see Ari pounce.

Her screech was undignified as she scrambled to get out of the way, but it was too late as Ari batted her into the freezing water. Aj'Iya yowled as she bolted out of the water, frantically shaking the icy water from her body.

Ari slumped next to her with rumbling chuffs; annoying his Aj'Iya with his amusement. Grumbling half-heartedly, Aj'Iya nestled herself in front of him between his giant paws and allowed him to lick her fur dry.

Aj'Iya was the size of a cub next to him, so his grooming didn't take long. She was ruffling her fur back into place when Ari stood over her and snarled into the forest.

Sniffing the air, she stiffened in recognition when a black panther prowled from between the dense bushes, growling. Ari growled back and clawed at the ground in front of him.

Aj'Iya sprang out from between Ari's front paws and crouched aggressively between the both of them growling and hissing; looking from one to the other.

 **: Ari, please, I do not want to deal with this. Not now. :**

Ari snarled in defiance one last time before turning away to put some distance between himself and the dirty old wizard.

Aj'Iya gazed at the leopard in uncertainty as it's growls turned to purrs in an effort to ease her agitation. He stepped slowly toward her and Aj'Iya froze as the bigger cat brushed his fur against hers. A tingle of cleansing magick swept over her body and Aj'Iya realised that the leopard had been worried about Ari's poison.

In awe at his display of magick through his animagus form, Aj'Iya brushed her face against his jaw, and elation swept through her when he began to groom the fur on her head. Her purrs echoed around the lake and were ended abruptly when the black panther suddenly pulled away and slipped back into the Forbidden Forest.

She stood gazing sadly at the spot he'd disappeared, willing him to return.

 ***How does it feel, Aj'Iya, to be turned away so easily? I'd like to know for when you leave me to be with your mate.***

Aj'Iya turned to Ari who'd went to stand beside the lake; she shook her head like she'd been punched in the face.

:Why would you say that, Ari?: Xhara asked while she returned to her human form.

 ***You won't need me anymore when he comes for you.***

Daemon lay looking out over the lake, and was a lot smaller than usual. Xhara knelt beside her familiar, who continued to ignore her.

"I promise you, Daemon Ari," she said, her voice tremulous, "that I will never leave you or abandon you. You are my truest friend, you are my family and I love you."

Daemon lifted his head from his paws, his eyes were pools of sadness as he looked at her. Xhara took him into her arms, holding the tiny bundle to her chest as she rubbed her chin against his tiny head.

"You will always be my cub, Daemon," she whispered against his fur, "and I will always be your Aj'Iya."

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Xhara stood outside the entrance to the Great Hall waiting for her friends to arrive on the carriages. Daemon was in her arms, still tiny and reluctant to shift to anything bigger; he was enjoying being in his Aj'Iya's arms again.

The other students were lounging around the courtyard as well when Madam Pomfrey, Professor Snape, Professor McGonagall and the Headmaster raced out of the castle just as the carriages came through the gate.

The few students whispered to each other as they trailed behind the professors, curious as to what could possibly have happened for them to be racing toward the approaching carriages.

Daemon shifted against her chest and his words chilled her.

 ***I smell blood.***

The professors gathered at the first carriage; there were jumbled movements at the open door to the carriage and Xhara heard gasps from the students huddled nearer to the professors.

Suddenly, the professors were quickly moving away from the carriage and this time a body Xhara couldn't identify floated between them. Madam Pomfrey was casting healing spells as they ran, Professor Snape poured a potion down the student's throat at her command and Professor McGonagall levitated body.

The Headmaster was assuring the students and ushering them toward the entrance, but Xhara ignored him as the harried group of professors rushed passed her. Her hand flew to her mouth to hold back the sob at the pale, bloodied form of Neville.

She was barely aware as gentle hands led her into the castle and to the Ravenclaw table.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

"I think N-Neville did one of the rituals last night," Luna said from her position on the floor as she leant against her bed. Dinner in the Great Hall had been subdued, and the girls came straight to their dorms after parting ways with Harry in the corridors.

"When we met him on the train, he seemed quieter and sad but we just assumed he was conflicted about the ritual. He told us he was going to stretch his legs but he was gone so long, we got worried." Luna hugged Floozy to her and took a shaky breath. "We found him in an empty compartment, there was an empty potion phial next to him and he'd cut his wrists."

Daemon batted at Xhara's leg where she sat on the floor facing Luna, and she lifted him to her chest, cuddling the soft furry ball.

"Why didn't he wait for us... till he was at Hogwarts? He knows what happens after the ritual; we could have helped him through it."

Luna said nothing and both girls remained silent and brooding; their minds on their friend lying in the hospital wing, slowly dying.

It was with mechanical movements sometime later, that the girls readied themselves for bed.

Daemon lay on the pillow next to her head as Xhara lay wide awake, unable to sleep.

Her mind ran on Severus, who'd been frantically pouring potions down Neville's throat to counteract the poison; when that ceased to work, he spelled them directly into Neville's stomach.

Unfortunately, the only thing the potions did was slow the poison; Neville's insides were being eaten away and his organs were shutting down.

Daemon snuggled into his pillow, unconcerned. He was deep in sleep when Xhara shot up in the bed next to him; causing him to startle and rip the pillow covers as he grabbed at them.

"Oh God, I'm a fucking idiot!"

He watched sleepily as Xhara tore through her trunk throwing her things everywhere.

"Xhara?" Luna had woken at her friend's yell.

"Where is it? Please let me have..."

"What are you looking for?"

"My potion, it can heal him."

"But I thought you said it needed adjusting."

"It does, but Neville's not a female and he's not pregnant! It won't hurt except when it's healing him and making all his organs better than before." Xhara huffed and sat back on her heals. "I'll just have to make more, a couple of hours and it'll be ready."

 ***Xhara, your potion has a three-day curing time.***

Xhara slumped at Daemon's reminder, and Luna touched her shoulder in a silent question.

 ***Besides, you have a couple of vials remaining at the glade for retesting, remember.***

Xhara grabbed him from the pillow and rained kisses on his head before she tossed him back on the covers and turning to Luna.

"Let me guess," Luna said, "you have your potion hidden away somewhere?"

"Yes!" Xhara said with a wide smile.

"Where?" Luna asked, looking around the room.

"In the Forbidden Forest."

Luna watched as Xhara Transfigured her night clothes into a tank top and sweatpants.

"I'll go with you."

"No, Luna, it'll be faster if I go alone." She pointed at her familiar. "That means you can't go either, Daemon; so don't bother changing, and stay here with Luna."

Daemon stopped his transformation and slouched on the pillow.

"Don't wait up, guys, I'll be back after I give Neville the potion."

Xhara slipped from their dorm room under a Disillusionment Charm and snuck down to the common room. She was able to get to the exit, but was at a loss as to how she was going to open the door without anyone noticing.

She bit her lips to keep from slamming her head into the wall; she hadn't thought of a way to get out of the common room and now she was stuck waiting, in the hopes that at least one of these Ravenclaws decided to break the rules any moment now, or a Prefect returned from patrolling.

Just then, an almost menacing rumbling purr heralded the appearance of her leopard-sized Daemon Ari, who strolled down the stairs in all his glory, ignoring the horrified gasps of the milling students.

He stopped in front of the door and willed it open as he normally did.

 ***You're welcome.***

: Thank you, sweetie. :

After Xhara had slipped out of the room, Daemon Ari glanced threateningly at each huddled student before he returned to the dorm room.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Her race to the Potions Glade was uneventful, and Xhara was now sneaking into the infirmary with the last three phials of her healing potion hidden away in her pouch.

The infirmary was quiet and dark, but with just enough light for her to see the outline of Neville's body on the bed in the corner closest to Madam Pomfrey's office.

She hurried to his side and paused at the haggard and pain-filled features of her friend. Unstopping one of the bottles, she leant closer to his head to find that his eyes were opened, observing her actions.

"Neville, I know you can't talk and your throat's probably a bit swollen, but I need you to try to swallow as much of this potion as you can. I'll start with drops and we'll go from there."

She positioned the mouth of the bottle to his lips, but his weakly shaking head and the fact that he refused to open his mouth told her that he didn't want to take the potion.

"Neville, please. It's just the withdrawal that's making you feel like this."

Neville ignored her, closing his eyes and turning away.

"Hannah likes you," she began as she sat back on the chair near his bed, propping her arms on the mattress, "and I think Hermione starting to have a little crush. Imagine the cat fights when they realise that we're just good friends."

There was a slight twitch at the corner of his lips, but Neville kept his eyes shut.

Xhara sighed, "I saw your grandmother earlier, she didn't want to leave you; the Headmaster had a room prepared for her close by. She obviously cares very much for you."

Neville's eyes opened but he kept his head turned away.

"I promise that if the worst happens, Luna, Harry and I will visit with your parents if your grandmother allows it, but we'll probably never receive a sweet-wrapper..."

His eyes full of tears, Neville turned to her, his blue tinged lips opened; with practised care, Xhara allowed a drop to fall on his tongue. It took a while before he was able to swallow, but Xhara waited patiently each time.

Finally, the phial was empty and Xhara enlarged the bed to lay facing him as she pulled his head to her chest, knowing that the potion would cause him some discomfort.

Thirty minutes later, Neville's body was shaking with the pain and Xhara continued to hold him giving as much comfort as she could until he fell asleep.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Neville woke the next morning, feeling more comfortable and happier than he'd been in a long time. He could feel the sun on his face shining through the window and he smiled as he snuggled into his pillow.

Bands tightened around his head, pulling him closer to the pillow, and he blinked open his eyes. A pair of dark-golden globes greeted him, a bit blurry at such close quarters, and his smile widened.

"Uh-um." Madam Pomfrey cleared her throat.

"Neville!" His grandmother chided.

"Mr Longbottom!" Professor McGonagall gasped.

Neville felt the blood rush to his face when he realised three adults - females - stood near his bed while he had his face plastered against a well-endowed bosom.

"Mr Longbottom," a deep, menacing voice hissed, "what is the meaning of this?"

He tried to lift his head but the arms only tightened once more.

"I swear it's not what it looks like," he mumbled against her breasts, embarrassment rising as he struggled to disentangle himself from his friend's limbs as disapproval rained from their audience.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

Xhara frowned when Daemon shifted restlessly in her arms and her eyes blinked open sleepily.

She'd only fallen asleep in the early hours of the morning and... Xhara blinked again... a head full of long black silky hair was nestled against her chest, and she yelped as she flew off the bed, falling over because she'd been tangled up in sheets, arms and legs.

As soon as she stood, long black robes were conjured to her half-dressed body - her own Transfiguration over her night clothes had faded during the night - but she was too busy gazing quizzically at the form on the bed to notice; then Neville pushed his now overgrown hair back away from his face and Xhara sighed.

"Oh thank god it's you, Neville. I thought..."

"Miss Diya, do care to explain what has happened here?"

Only then did she realise that there were others nearby. Ignoring Severus' glare, she turned to Madam Pomfrey.

"I wanted to help Neville, so last night I gave him a healing potion I created."

Madam Pomfrey hurried over to Neville, scanning his body.

"He's fine," she said, and continued to speak over Mrs Longbottom's sigh of relief, "he's perfectly healthy I should say. As healthy as you were the day your Familiar came to get me Miss Diya."

"What do you mean?" Professor Snape asked curiously. Xhara was beginning to panic and she fought not to show it.

"Oh, Miss Diya's Nundu panicked when she harmed herself and came to get me, but by the time I got to her dorm room she'd already healed herself." Madam Pomfrey turned back to Xhara. "I'm guessing you used your potion and _not_ a Replenisher as you'd claimed."

Xhara nodded and was about to make an excuse to escape when Professor McGonagall spoke.

"If the potion works so quickly, why did you stay the night Miss Diya? Are there side effects to the potion."

"The potion's not perfect yet, it causes discomfort when it heals."

"But the potion doesn't work as quickly as you want us to believe, Miss Diya."

"Professor Snape, the Headmaster warned you..."

"It was just surface thoughts, Professor McGonagall."

"Miss Diya," the Mediwitch interrupted, "what really happened when you took the potion? We need to know in case there are severe consequences we should look for in Mr Longbottom."

Xhara looked at the floor, conflicted and afraid, "When I took the potion it hurt more than I thought it would. Daemon panicked because he's connected to me."

There was silence at her words and for one precious moment, Xhara thought they'd bought it.

"Madam Pomfrey, I believe it's of the utmost importance that you run a full diagnostic on Miss Diya," Professor Snape said with a drawl.

"No!"

Five pairs of eyes focused on Xhara at her outburst and she shifted uncomfortably, annoyed at giving herself away.

"Professor McGonagall, Mrs Longbottom if you would please excuse us; Mr Longbottom please rest for now." Madam Pomfrey gestured for Xhara to follow her. "Miss Diya come with me; Professor Snape if you will, I may need your expertise on this potion."

With a lump in her throat, Xhara followed the Mediwitch; the robes that had been conjured to her body was too large, but she ignored the trailing hem as she tried to think of some way to get out of what was coming.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Severus peered at the forlorn appearance of his... Miss Diya, she looked as though she was going to the gallows. He was having second thoughts of putting her through this, but he needed to know that she was healthy.

Madam Pomfrey had given her a hospital robe to change into and when she emerged from the changing room, the Mediwitch directed her to a bed which she quickly closed off with curtains and silencing charms.

No one said anything as Madam Pomfrey worked, silently casting her diagnostic spells.

"Oh my..."

"What is it?" Severus asked quietly.

"I'm afraid I'm going to need to inform the Headmaster of this as well,"

"Madam Pomfrey, please, no."

"I'm sorry, Miss Diya but this has to be done, I will be back momentarily with the Headmaster," she continued ignoring Xhara's continuous pleas as she left the curtained off area.

Severus quietly observed as the girl bit at her nails, she looked ready to bolt, instead, she turned to him.

"Professor, please, I promise you that I'm fine. Don't let them..."

"Good morning, Professor Snape, Miss Diya." The Headmaster came through the partition with Madam Pomfrey close behind. "Now, what seems to be the problem, Poppy."

"I found traces of the Otium Raptus potion in her system."

Severus felt a rush of worry, anger and denial, "That cannot be. I destroyed that recipe and the book the Dark Lord gave me. No one should be able to brew this potion, I am the only one left who knows all its ingredients."

From the corner of his eyes, he saw as the girl pulled her knees to her chin under the bed covers, shaking her head.

"Miss Diya, do you have any idea who could have done this?"

"I didn't see anyone, Headmaster, the potion was thrown at me and I tried to vanish it, but it exploded when I used my magick on it."

"If it was thrown at you, and you didn't ingest it, that means you were aware enough that you can identify the culprit, Miss Diya," Severus said, irritated that she would try to protect a rapist. He dearly wanted to pour one of his 'hidden' poisons down the throat of the man or boy who dared touch his female... student.

"Please, just stop."

"Miss Diya, it is our policy at this institution to protect our students and keep them safe," the Headmaster said, "and so, to prevent this from happening again, we need to know who did this so that no one else is harmed in such a way again."

They all sighed in frustration when the girl just continued to shake her head, but none of them could continue the interrogation as a deep rumbling growl was heard just outside the curtains.

The adults watched anxiously as the shadowy outline of leopard-sized form continued to grow to gigantic proportions.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Xhara wished she could tell Severus to shut up as he continued to dig his own grave.

Not that he'd done anything wrong; she was officially an adult. She just hadn't wanted the whole school thinking that their Defence Against The Dark Arts professor was a paedophile; her being his Soulmate and an adult wouldn't have prevented that rumour from spreading.

There was nothing she could do now, they wouldn't stop questioning her and technically they were right, whoever had thrown the potion at her might try it with someone else. The problem was that the guilty party had placed her in Severus' quarters and on his bed; how was she or he going to explain that?

The only thing left for her to do was protect him. Ari poked his head through an opening in the curtain, Severus was trapped next to her at the head of the bed while the Headmaster and the Mediwitch backed away.

Xhara draped her legs over the side of the bed and stood.

"Headmaster, while I understand your need to find the person that dosed me, I Don't. Know. Who. It. Was. I can tell you who it _wasn't_ , and that was the person I gave myself to." Xhara shook her head to forestall the Headmaster's next words. "If you'd like to test my wand, Headmaster Dumbledore, you will find that I am legally an adult and I do not have to tell you who I've had relations with."

She held out her wand to the Headmaster who took it as he gazed sadly at the student who lost her innocence too soon. The test of her wand proved her words true and Xhara was allowed to leave after Madam Pomfrey gave her a lecture on magickal protections.

Xhara hurried toward the Ravenclaw Tower, Daemon at a steady stride beside her, relieved that her last shot had worked, she'd been prepared to threaten them all with Nundu bites if they'd made her confess about Severus.

She hadn't seen Severus' face when she'd admitted to giving herself to someone, as he'd been standing behind her, but she hoped her story had been believable enough for him. If he continued to dig, sooner or later he'd find out and then he'd probably give in to guilt and turn himself over to the Headmaster's mercy.

However, she sighed in relief when she thought of two facts; she was an adult and Severus was her Soulmate, besides revealing the private nature of their relationship, there was nothing they could do to Severus.

Unless they pressured him into leaving on his own...

Xhara sighed and trudged up the stairs; deciding that she would think more of this the next day. Casting her troubles aside, she went straight to bed, relieved she was finally able to rest.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Xhara woke later that evening to find a High-Elf gazing at her as tears streamed from its eyes.

She sighed as she sat up; she'd awoken to worse.

"Can I help you?"

This didn't help, instead, the being began to... well... she couldn't say 'wail'; chime... maybe... tinkling cries. Daemon jumped up onto the bed beside her.

 ***You do know that this is Winky, don't you?***

"Winky!"

"Mistress, I am so sorry, it's all my fault!"

Xhara shook her head, the proof of Severus' honour was jarring.

"What's your fault, Winky?"

"I was the one that gave you the potion, Mistress. I thought it would get Master to accept you. I did not know it would hurt you."

"Winky, you put me on his bed… naked."

Winky looked at the floor, "Actually Mistress, you banished your own clothes."

Xhara stared blankly for a moment before she heaved a sigh of relief.

"Winky, it's all right," she said with a smile, trying to calm the crying Elf, "it was a mistake. At least it's not some perv going around trying to get him into trouble."

"Get who into trouble?"

Xhara was startled when Harry, Neville and Luna came across from the study area; she hadn't known they were there, and apparently Winky had been too distraught to notice them too, as she gasped in horror at the sight of them.

"I'm so sorry, Mistress, I'm so stupid!"

"Winky, please stop crying. You're not stupid; it's okay they're my friends, and I... I trust all of them. Including the Gryffindor."

"Hey, he's a Gryffindor too!" Harry said pointing at Neville, "Winky? I thought Dobby told me that you're Professor Snape's House-Elf now, and why do you look like Tinkerbelle?"

Winky continued to cry, Xhara said nothing as she and Luna waited for the boys to catch up.

It happened slowly.

They all sat in the space between the beds as Xhara gave Winky some tissue to dry her eyes.

"Winky, I promise that everything is fine. He didn't hurt me," she lied, hoping the High-Elf wouldn't notice.

"Yes he did, I have Master's sheets." Winky cried into the hankie.

"Oh my god!" Neville yelled, startling Harry.

"What?"

Xhara ignored Neville who was gazing into the distance, horrified and Harry, who was still asking "What?"

Luna patted Winky gently on her tiny shoulders but nothing seemed to help the Elf to forgive herself.

"Have you told him?" Xhara asked the hiccuping Winky.

"No, I was afraid, and Mistress seems to not want Master to know," Winky said looking at her sadly, "but I will make up for it; I vow never to use my wings until I feel I have earned my Mistress' forgiveness."

"Winky, no! You don't have to do that, I don't want you to, and he won't either."

"I have made my vow," Winky said as she stood and slinked toward the door, she turned to look at her Mistress one last time, "I am going to the Manor, Mistress, I will see you again when he brings you home."

After the door closed behind Winky, Luna turned to her with Floozy in her arms.

"At least she didn't vow to never use magick, but it'll still be hard for her."

"Does he know you're his Soulmate?" Neville asked, still looking a bit flabbergasted.

Xhara nodded, "He gave me a crystal cauldron as a gift for Yule."

Neville smiled, happy that at least one of them would soon be with their Soulmate. He still had depressing thoughts and feelings, but he knew his friends and family were there for him, and he was grateful.

They all gathered back at the study table while Xhara went to the bathroom to wash and change. She soon joined them at the table with the written theory of her potion and began to work on the changes she needed to make.

"Oh my god!"

They all ignored Harry, except for Luna who absently patted his arm.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

 _End Of Term - Early June_

"Miss Diya, I must congratulate you on the perfection of your healing potion."

"Thank you, Headmaster Dumbledore." Xhara glowed as she stopped at the entrance to the Hospital Wing to reply, the box of fragile items floating next to her.

"Have you thought of a name for it, my dear?"

"Xharadia's Elixir and Xharadia's Pearls." Her mother had suggested the name, in memory of her father. "I created the potion in two different forms."

"Absolutely marvellous; have you spoken to your Head of House about patenting?"

"Yes, and Professor Flitwick has already helped me through the process."

"Wonderful my dear, I'll leave you to drop off your box of, I'm guessing, potions from your professor and yourself?" At her nod he continued, "Might I ask you to take this to Professor Snape, I believe you will find him in the staff room at this time and I think his response will be of interest to you." With a twinkling smile, he gave Xhara the sealed scroll and left for his appointment.

Slightly bemused, she delivered the potions to Madame Pomfrey. She thought of requesting a check-up from the mediwitch about her non-existent monthlies - this problem started since 'The Potion Incident' on Yuletide Eve - but was afraid of what the result could possibly be. In this sense, she was a lot like her father, preferring to tough it out until the symptoms were hard to ignore.

She had done the appropriate spells on herself and found she wasn't pregnant, she didn't experience any symptoms of menopause, and none of the female - willing rabbit and human - test subjects for her potions had any negative side effects. Her potion was safe. Sighing, she made her way to the staff room.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

"Snape..." Sinistra whispered to get his attention and tugged at her curls, hoping the others in the room hadn't heard any of the conversation so far.

The teacup near his lips, Severus continued silkily, mercilessly, "I never thought I'd enjoy taking you over and over, making you scream for me. Begging me… How about we repeat..."

"Snape, I don't know what you're talking about!" she hissed behind her teacup, "I didn't return for the holidays, and I sent you a reply that I couldn't get away. Didn't you get my message?"

Severus felt the blood drain from his face, leaving him cold with each word she spoke. Sinistra looked at him, noting his reaction and as their gaze met, horror came over the both of them.

"Oh Severus, what did you do?" Aurora felt sympathy well within her for the unfortunate female. Just then, someone cleared their throat near the sofa they lounged on.

Two pairs of horror filled eyes looked up to land on the student standing in front of them.

"Professor Snape, I was asked by the Headmaster to give this to you." Her features and tone void of all emotion, Miss Diya handed over the scroll. "He told me I should wait for your response."

"Miss Diya, congratulations on your potion," Sinistra said with a smile, aware that Snape needed a moment. The girl had the demeanour of a kicked puppy, not that she showed it; but Severus Snape was Miss Diya's soulmate, it wasn't hard to guess the girl's feelings.

"Thank you, Professor," Xhara replied with a forced smile.

Clearing her throat, Sinistra stood and smiled at the two, turning to Snape, "Well, I have a bit of work before my class tonight, you know how that fiancé of mine panics when I don't send him a letter every other day. I will see you at breakfast in the Great Hall tomorrow Professor Snape. Good evening to you both."

Sinistra smirked as she left the two to work out the rest. Her smile dimmed as she wondered who Snape had slept with over the holidays; but when she thought of all the students and teachers who'd remained behind and Snape's euphoric mood, it became obvious that somehow he'd been with the girl. Only his soulmate could have eased his raging needs and place him in such a good mood.

She winced as she thought of what the girl would have experienced for her first sexual encounter. Guilt filled her and for the thousandth time, she wished that she didn't have such depraved quirks. A smile graced her face again... Kingsley was a good man and he loved her this way. She wasn't about to reveal her suspicions to either of them though; Severus and the girl would work it out. Hopefully.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Severus took the offered scroll from his... the girl, but he didn't immediately open it. He felt a rush of guilt at what he knew was hidden behind her blank expression. It was unnerving seeing eyes so emotionless from a girl whose expression was usually an open, friendly one.

Instinctively falling back into his role as professor, he rolled his eyes carelessly and broke the seal on the scroll.

Meanwhile, Xhara had gone numb; she felt no anger, no hurt, no disappointment... nothing. She knew what she had walked in on, after all, she had seen it in a soul-jump.

Severus Snape would always choose another woman.

The lightbulb in her mind turned on and the reality of that knowledge finally settled in, like a giant rock resting on her heart and soul. She watched as he rolled his eyes and broke the seal on the scroll and the irony of the situation made her uneasy.

This was her Defence Against the Dark Arts professor standing in front of her, soon to be Potions Professor, casually reading a scroll that most likely had something to do with her education.

Their being soulmates didn't matter.

Their only sexual encounter wasn't worth mentioning as it was downright degrading. It didn't matter.

Her love for him didn't matter.

Their years of friendship, which she'd cherished and he chose to ignore, didn't matter.

This man standing in front of her was a stranger; they'd never had a proper conversation, not as Xhara and Sev. Though she'd started courting him, actually getting to know each other would have been a better option.

She could have tried staying after his classes or seeking him out about classwork, but never thought of it; she could have let him know more about herself in her anonymous letters to him but assumed he would have guessed her identity too soon.

Xhara kept thinking that he already knew her, they'd been friends as children, he'd accept her or recognise her when the time was right. What a fool she'd been! According to Harry, just before Voldemort was killed, Severus had told the dark lord that he had loved Lily Evans and had spied because of her death at the Dark Lord's hands.

Severus Snape would never choose her.

The lightbulb became blindingly bright and exploded. He looked up from the scroll and their eyes met. It only took me almost ten years to figure that out, she thought despondently.

"Another set of congratulations are in order Miss Diya, because of your outstanding elixir and pearls, my recommendation to have you as my apprentice in potions and alchemy has been approved. I..."

"Actually, Professor Snape," she cut him off, ignoring his damned arched eyebrow, "I've been offered the opportunity to return to my apprenticeship with my previous mentor, as Hogwarts is... lacking, education wise. After I complete my N.E.W.T.s, which I'm going to request to take sooner, I'll be returning to Uagadou." She held out a hand to him which he took silently, "Thank you for your recommendation, Sir, it means a lot that you think I'm good enough... for an apprenticeship at least."

She hadn't meant to say that last part, and as a slight frown marred his features, she ended the handshake and walked away, returning to her dorm room.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

 _Two Years Later_

Another female who wanted nothing to do with him, and she was supposed to be his. When she'd rejected his offer of apprenticeship, he hadn't expected it, nor did he expect to feel disappointed and betrayed.

She chose another over him, how... unoriginal, yet still so painful. Yes, she was going back to finish her apprenticeship, but maybe he'd been right before, and there was another male involved. They were soulmates! It couldn't be that easy for her to walk away from him, could it?

Severus looked into the mirror of the bathroom in his quarters and grimaced. Obviously, it was that easy, he thought as he returned to his sofa and reread the neatly scripted letter. Black eyes turned to stare unseeing into the murky depths of the Black Lake, through the magickally reinforced window in the sitting room. He'd skillfully hidden his hurt and disappointment as she shook his hand and walked away, and it took all his control to keep from chasing after her and begging her to give him a chance.

He'd returned to his quarters that day as broken as the day he realised Lily would never forgive him or talk to him again, and then he'd wondered... why?

Yes, they were soulmates but they didn't know each other.

Yes, technically, they knew each other as children but they were strangers.

Yes, she'd been courting him with gifts and letters, which should have been his duty but he'd fought against it, against all of it. All he'd given her was the crystal cauldron and stirrer that had belonged to his mother.

Xhara Diya had loved him since she was a child and all he'd ever did was sulk about and spout his adoration for Lily Evans, a girl who'd often called him Snivellus and screwed up her face in disgust whenever he was near; who'd used his talents in potions and charms to get ahead in her classes and who'd blatantly used his devotion to her, to make the pureblood rich-boy, James Potter, jealous enough to court her.

He knew - since he found that book on magickal bindings - that Xhara was his soulmate and he'd ignored it, found any excuse to stay away from her and in the end he hadn't even made love to her... he'd fucked her, a virgin without any protection and he'd called her 'Aurora' during. All while she been dosed with the Otium Raptus potion; Winky was still on self-punishment and refused to use her wings no matter what he said. He was lucky she was of age, understanding, hadn't hexed him and hadn't gotten pregnant.

And that was just another to add to the list; he'd had sex with her, called her by another woman's name, she knew it from the beginning and when he'd found out - unfortunately after she'd rejected the apprenticeship - he did nothing. Not even an apology fell from his lips. And so he'd let her go, allowing her the freedom of her classes without the fear of him pouncing on her again.

She had left Hogwarts yesterday after the graduation ceremony, never to return. He'd deliberated back and forth whether to approach her for courting but decided against it, thinking he had time.

He knew now that he'd chosen the coward's way out, letting her go without so much as an acknowledgement and now he'd lost her forever. He deserved this punishment she set for him and he allowed her letter to fall from his hands and cupped his face.

 _Dear Severus,_

 _Wow, it feels strange addressing you this way, but I guess it wasn't a habit meant to form. I just wanted to explain... everything, well, of course, I can't tell you everything as that would take more time and parchment than I have._

 _I'm going to start by saying that I've always loved you. Me, Xhara Diya, the once seven-year-old girl who sensed her soulmate in distress and sent her soul to him. Not that I knew that then, I thought I was dreaming; you called me Lily and my skin and hair was different and you seemed to like me._

 _Yes, you seeming to like me, that felt like a dream. I'd never had a true friend before you Sev, and the more I dreamt of you and got to know you, the more I wanted you to know the real me. I thought I was going crazy, so did my parents, but I stopped caring about that and focused on making you happy. I know now that it was a side effect of the Bonding, wanting you happy and healthy._

 _I guess that was my mistake. After all, I was in another girl's body and I knew you found her pretty. I have to tell you, my self-esteem was really tested because of it and you often told her she was beautiful. Anyway, last year I finally realised that I lived and breathed for you. For my every thought and action, you were the focal point._

 _I dreamt of us opening our own apothecary or a Magickal Mall with our own little magickal shops and stalls while renting to others. I dreamt of our baby and planned my apprenticeship and career around it. I dreamt of our home with a garden and mountains and trees... I live for you Sev, and I need it to stop._

 _So I'm going to prepare for The Withdrawal and complete it within the next few months before I begin my apprenticeship. I rejected the Bond Cutting because I still have the hope that our souls will find each other again in our next life._

 _Please don't regret our one night together, I don't anymore since I got over the fact that you weren't trying to hurt me and that you called me another woman's name. You probably don't remember, but you did wake up soon after the first round and made love to me till the early hours of the morning and you didn't use her name then._

 _I will always remember that part and I will always love you Sev. Always._

 _Xhara._


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

 **A/N - Warning, parts of this chapter are a bit farfetched but it gives an idea of who/what these characters are going to become or are. I hope my Time/Space explanations are at least understandable (cuz.. you know... I don't have a clue about such things. They're all just guesses, when _I_ think of time-travel, parallel universes, etc), this is the point where I lost touch with this story and, sadly, lost some of my notes explaining my reasonings. However, I don't believe I missed anything too important. This is the last chapter, an epilogue is next.**

 _Outside Of Time & Space_

Mentor Roh - once known countless ages ago as Interis - watched her favourite and brightest student. Xhara flashed around within the perimeter of the Wards surrounding what was to be their home for the remaining two years of this apprenticeship.

She frowned, but not in disappointment; Xhara had excelled further than any of her previous apprentices, possibly even further than herself. Using the power of the mind and self-transfiguration to get from place to place, even in the same room - teleporting - was impossible for most Magi on par with Mentor Roh herself.

What concerned her though was that Xhara had not aged by a year as she should have. Time had no meaning here and Interis... Roh had mastered it long ago. As she had offered Xhara the three years - missing from Hogwarts - to complete her apprenticeship, Roh had decided to take her outside of time and space. Ageing would have been drastic but for the magickal wards, she had erected so that Xhara would age only for each of the three years (within time and space).

In real time, (within time and space) only three months had passed since Xhara had returned.

Xhara's apprenticeship was different as she'd had to double classes to make up for the years she'd missed at Uagadou, hence the reason she was outside of time and space far longer than her first to fourth year training. They had just completed fifth and sixth year training and Roh had pretended to beg the girl for at least a week's rest, using it as an excuse to research what had gone wrong. Frustratingly, her magick could detect nothing; not on the wards or Xhara.

"Xharadia, come! Let us have lunch and a checkup as you'll be teleporting further away next."

Xhara stopped, then flashed to her mentor; the nickname no longer fazed her as it used to. Her mentor had insisted on a nickname - Xhara thought she'd been joking - saying that "all good little Time Witches must have one". She'd finally chosen the nickname her dad had given her as a baby.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

She was lounging in the sitting room sipping coffee when Mentor Roh hurried into the room, her light cloak already Transfiguring into battle armour.

"Something unknown is coming through my Wards."

Xhara was already standing at the ready, her robe Transfigured into full leather pants and bustier armour by the time Mentor Roh had finished her sentence. They stood silently and waited, anyone who came through the door would be stepping into a minefield of magickal traps. She briefly thought, 'but they came through Mentor Roh's Wards' and silenced her mind to remain aware of her surroundings.

At first, there was silence, the two witches waited patiently, then something unexpected happened that they weren't anticipating. There came a courteous knock at the door. They looked at each other for a moment then Mentor Roh went to crack open the door, her magick pulsing menacingly.

Xhara waited, ready to defend her mentor if she had to when she heard a small tired voice from the open door.

"I came to speak with my Mistress."

"Winky?"

Mentor Roh stepped back and Xhara gasped Winky timidly came into the room and trudged over to her. Xhara sat on the floor and conjured a small seat for Winky to sit, which she did hesitantly as exhaustion won over reluctance.

"Winky, you're not still punishing yourself like this, are you? Please tell me you didn't walk all the way here!"

"I deserve the punishment, Mistress."

"Winky, you know I forgave you long ago, and I can't believe S-Severus would have you stay this way."

"The potion wasn't the only thing I did to you, Mistress. I did something, I thought I was doing something good for you Mistress, and especially for Master. Master would have lost everything if I didn't do it, but now..."

Xhara watched in horror as the fairy-like Winky pulled at her dishevelled hair and wept. She held the Elf's hand and gently pulled them away from her hair, retaining her hold on them to prevent her from continuing her self-punishment.

"Winky... Winky!" Xhara had to yell to get Winky's attention and to stop her - almost creepy - bell-like tinkling cries, relieved it wasn't the usual wailing that house-elves adored. "Tell me what happened." She said calmly.

"I swear on the magick of The Elves that I will return to the disgrace of my previous form if Mistress so wishes," Winky continued quickly before Xhara could object, "the day you were bleeding in your common room I stopped your bleeding, Mistress."

"Oh." That was it? Xhara thought. "Well, thank you for that Winky, I knew you stopped my bleeding, Daemon had sensed you'd been there."

"Mistress... I stopped you from losing any of my Master's... Claim and put your womb and by extension your body in stasis."

"I... I don't... w-what... are you saying?"

"Mistress is having Master's heir."

"I'm… pregnant?"

At Winky's nod, she almost fainted but she had to understand what had happened.

"How is that possible, how can you do that, why did you do that?" She should have fainted, hysterics were making her babble.

"In my Full Elemental Abjuration form I can heal anything, even someone close to death, as Master, has learned. Even though you did not know for sure that you had conceived, I felt your despair of losing that part of you and Master Severus; I knew for a long time that Master has wished for a family of his own. I wanted to give you both what you longed for. I did not believe Master and Mistress could walk away from a Soulmate bond."

"I didn't do either of those rituals, Winky. I couldn't."

The silence in the room was deafening as Xhara tried to sort out her tumultuous thoughts and emotions. She was pregnant!

She knew that in real time, three months had passed since leaving Hogwarts, but before that, two years had passed since her and Severus' intimacy. She'd spent one year outside of time… and she was pregnant! Then a thought occurred to her and she blanched.

"Winky, does he know?"

"I could not tell him, Mistress. Master Severus has been... different since he believes Mistress has Withdrawn from him. I would not be here now if that were true."

Xhara ignored Winky's searching look, "Why tell me about my pregnancy now... is something wrong?!"

"Not with the pregnancy but I sensed the Wards trying to age you, they won't be able to until I remove the stasis but Mistress, you cannot stay here while pregnant. It will be hazardous in many ways."

"I can't just leave my apprenticeship again Winky... I'm not ready!"

"Actually Xharadia, I think you are. You've been hiding long enough, and besides, you're my favourite student. You can return if you wish, after the baby's birth."

Xhara had forgotten her Mentor was there in the room and her mouth worked trying to deny her words, but couldn't find it in her. She closed her eyes and sighed resolutely trying hard to stand firm on the decision she'd made so long ago.

"Master Severus has not been happy since you left Mistress."

Xhara shook her head and said nothing as she stood and walked outside trying to get away.

"Master cries sometimes... even in his sleep he begs for forgiveness and a second chance."

"Don't..."

"Master needs you, Mistress Xhara."

"I needed him! I lived and breathed for him!" she tried to laugh but it was more of a choked sob, "I've bled for him dammit! And all he's ever done was reject me... he never wanted to know me." she whispered as her tears fell and she sank to her knees.

"Yes Xharadia, he did hurt you, but now you have a chance. He's finally ready and WANTS that chance. Are you really going to deny your soulmate just to hurt him as he hurt you? Then trust me when I say you'll regret it; for the rest of your life you will hurt even more than you do now if you continue to deny him."

Regret at what she'd done so far, by leaving him, and what she'd been preparing to do (a Bond Cutting) after her apprenticeship, tore through her and she cupped her face as she sobbed, so she wasn't a witness to the communication between Winky and her Mentor.

She felt a light touch on her wrist and looked up in time to experience a wave of vertigo as everything spun without warning. Thankfully she was already sitting on the ground and a minute or two steadying herself on her hands settled her stomach.

Xhara looked around at the trees surrounding her, but couldn't place where she was, and a quick search revealed that Winky had left her. At least she assumed Winky had brought her here as she carefully got to her feet. Relieved that the nausea was gone, she tried to teleport back to Mentor Roh but couldn't. She tried apparating but that also failed.

Sighing in defeat, she went to remove the Transfiguration from her leather armour, to change it back into her light robes but changed her mind until she could figure out where she was.

She had been walking for a while and almost everywhere she looked, there were plant-based potions ingredients and herbs her mother would use in her lotions.

She longed to harvest a few but was apprehensive that this might all belong to someone and chose to leave them alone. Half an hour later, she came to a worn path with weeping willows lining both sides. Deciding that it seemed to lead somewhere, she stepped onto the path and chose to go left. She made three steps when she felt the wards ahead of her and stopped.

She looked behind her but all she saw were trees and taking the chance, she walked toward the wards and stepped through them. Her eyes widened and her breath caught. She was on Spinner's End.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

He was hallucinating again, it happened every time he stayed too long in one place her body or soul had been. Three months had passed since Xhara had left for her Apprenticeship, yet every day since, Severus would see her at random moments.

There she was, strolling across the deserted park in the sexiest leather outfit he'd ever seen, her curly hair windblown and free. She turned to the swings where he sat... she was still as beautiful as he remembered her.

Her eyes widened as she saw him and though he couldn't hear her, he knew she gasped in surprise. He stared at the apparition blankly but inside, he buzzed in anticipation, what would she do this time? Would she smile and run to him? Would she taunt him as she beckoned him with a finger over her shoulder? Would she extend her arm for him to take her soft hand?

She seemed confused as she looked at him and her eyes were full of questions. Finally, they were filled with sadness as she turned to walk away. Oh, it was one of those kinds of hallucinations, the ones where he never got a chance to explain.

"Please don't leave me again," he watched her hungrily as she froze. His normally silky tones were rough from disuse but he didn't care, there was no one around to hear him anyway. "Forgive me, please. I was afraid and I know that is a weak excuse. All I'd ever known was loneliness and heartache until the day I met you. My mother never cared for my well-being until the day she experienced your love for me. I wish I hadn't been so willing to be blinded by Lily's face, the evidence was there... evidence you shouted to me yet I refused to listen."

He hunched over, resting his elbows on his knees as he gripped his hair and closed his eyes in frustration, wishing these hallucinations would stop. The wind blew softly around the park, causing the rusty squeaking of the swing next to him.

"In my mind, Lily left me after claiming to love and care for me and when I realised that you were in Lily it hit me that... you did leave me, in our fifth year and you never came back. I went to Gryffindor tower and begged her to forgive me hoping that the sweet girl who'd loved and cared for me, who'd fed me when I was starving and comforted me when my father got hold of me would return, that you'd return. I never meant to call you a mudblood, I was just so humil-"

"When did you call me a mudblood?!"

The voice had come from the swing next to him on his right and his breathing quickened. Unclenching his fingers from his hair, he slowly turned his head to find that the vision had changed her clothes from armour to light flowing robes the colour of the sunset, and her brow was slightly furrowed in confusion over her bright hazel eyes. Her hair danced around her with the wind.

He sat up and unconsciously gripped the chain of the swing he sat on and gazed at her longingly. Her voice was different, more womanly, husky; he'd forgotten how much she'd grown before leaving Hogwarts. His befuddled mind was obviously catching up and he was no longer craving a girl in her Hogwarts uniform.

"You are so beautiful my flower, I wish I could see you one more time."

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

At first, Xhara was shocked to find him sitting on a swing in the park they'd frequented as children, it was why she'd chosen to come here, to remember. She'd steeled herself to walk away after he'd gazed at her so blankly as he always did; nothing had changed, she decided, he was still going to treat her as if she didn't matter. But then he'd asked for forgiveness, she'd looked back at him to find a man frustrated and obviously hurting.

She never could stand to see him in so much pain; hastily removing the Transfiguration on her clothes, she sat on the swing next to him and allowed it to rock back and forth gently as she listened to his words. Even the squeaking of the swing was the same.

Her eyes widened at the man on the swing next to her when his last sentence penetrated her mind. This wasn't... couldn't be Severus, this broken man willing to beg for forgiveness. Calmly tells her that she was beautiful. But it was Severus, and he thought he was having a hallucination. And just when did he call her a mudblood? She didn't remember that ever happening.

"I need you, Xhara."

Her heart slammed against her chest; this was the first time he'd ever said her name.

His gaze into her eyes was so earnest and sad, the shield around her heart broke and emotions she thought were completely gone now flooded her. Tears escaped from the corners of her eyes as the unconditional love returned, causing fear to blossom.

However, she stood and went to stand in front of him, ignoring the fear, to do the one thing she'd always wanted to do. Severus' gaze followed her as he tilted his head, the emotions he usually kept hidden was there on his face; in his eyes. And like always, she responded.

Lifting a hand, she slowly went to brush his hair from his face and she watched as need raged in his dark eyes every millisecond her hand got closer.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

Severus could feel the warmth of her body as she stood so close to him, he needed to feel her touch, just once more. He closed his eyes and swore he felt the brush of her robes, lavender, rosemary and jasmine filled his senses as the soft wind continued to swirl around them. He thought something might have brushed his hair and his teeth clenched in frustration.

Lowering his head, his eyes still closed, he concentrated on willing the hallucination away, it was the only thing that worked anymore. He'd been living with them for so long, seeing his soulmate and being unable to touch her was... almost... natural.

He opened his eyes to find her still standing there, the hand that had seemed to touch him was holding her other arm as she bit her lip. Her gaze held his and a question popped into his mind; why was she still there? He closed his eyes, a bit panicked, if he continued to live in his hallucinations, he might never want to leave. They were becoming too real.

Suddenly, soft hands gripped his face and his nerve ends jumped at the contact... it wasn't real; full soft lips met his own, and he moaned; it felt so real... too real. He broke away as he quickly stood and watched as she stepped back, her fingers touching her lip.

He stalked slowly, menacingly toward her but she stood her ground, "You are not real, go away." He towered over her and again her light, flowery fragrance assaulted his senses.

"Sev..."

He went to grip her shoulders and pull her close to him, expecting her to disappear in a puff of mist as she usually did. Instead, his hands closed over small shoulders and a soft body was now flush against him. He stared down into big tear-filled eyes that gazed at him full of understanding.

"You're not real." He whispered gruffly as his mind tried to make sense of the many sensations around him.

"Severus," she clutched the front of his robes and lay her head on his chest, her voice husky with tears, "I'm here, I promise I'm right here."

Severus fought through his usual ramblings of what he knew was real and what wasn't. Something moved in his peripheral and he saw her Nundu slinking out of the shrubbery and sitting nearby, watching them.

He'd never hallucinated her familiar before.

He was holding an obviously feminine body with long halo-like curls surrounding her head, which was currently pressed into his chest. He loosened his grip to place them around her and still, she didn't disappear. Then he heard her whispering comfortingly.

"I'm here Sev, I will always be here. I promise. Always."

"Xhara?" He clutched her chin, tilting her face toward him, his eyes full of hope.

Her smile and nod were all he needed for the dam to break as he held her tighter whispering words of apology, need and love. He knew he was mostly nonsensical but he didn't care as the missing half of his soul was returned.

Annoyed at her tiny stature, Xhara gently levitated herself, wrapping her legs around his waist, an arm around his neck as held his face to rain kisses on him before he growled and took her lips.

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

 **A/N - Xharadia - pronounced, Z-Rah-d-Ah (kinda rhymes with - just the 'dia' part of - Arcadia)**


	28. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Daemon Ari rolled his eyes at the couple's display; a black leather boot stepped into his peripheral and he looked around, without surprise, at his older Aj'Iya.

 ***I didn't think that this would really work. If you hadn't left me back at Mentor Roh's cottage, none of what you suffered would have happened.***

: It won't happen Ari, not ever again. Time is our friend after all : Xharadia replied, and they both turned to the swirling vortex, invisible to all, including the couple nearby.

 ***So you two are just gonna continue going at each other like that ... in public.***

Familiar and Witch paused and turned back to watch as Sev gripped her ass and ground her against him, both moaning and panting, devouring each other's lips.

: You know damn well my potion had worked a little too well the day I overdosed. I'm sure I'll start to panic in a short while when I remember that I'm a virgin again :

Daemon Ari snickered, ***You better hope you don't.***

: What do you mean? :

 ***Well, what would you prefer to happen first? The baby or the mating?***

Xharadia blanched, then smiled as new memories began to pour into her mind.

: Oh, thank goodness I didn't make _that_ mistake, : she said, smiling at her Familiar, : Let's go home to our family, Daemon. :

 **The End**

 **~~~(*)~~~(*)~~~**

 **Next Chapter Is Just An Author's Note**


	29. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

Thanks again to all who followed, favourited and reviewed this story. It took me a long while to complete it and when I got down to the last five chapters or so I lost interest (can't remember if I said this before, but I wrote this story some time ago and I've been re-editing all the chapters before I reposted them).

I know there are unanswered questions (Neville, Luna, Harry, Winky, even what Severus endured) and I plan to write a Part Two of what happened in the Original timeline when Xhara chose to leave Daemon Ari back at Mentor Roh's cottage. I'm not that good at writing romance in my stories, so I might not be writing a sequel (for after the Epilogue above) unless of course, I tie it into Part Two... aaand now that I've written that, I got a great idea and I just might call Part Two a Sequel. However, the romance will most likely **NOT** be fluffy and cute...

 **Let Me Address Some Issues**

 **This is in response to a somewhat inappropriate PM that I received. I'm no longer angry about it and so I decided to separate this from my epilogue with proper explanations for the behaviours of my characters.**

It is unfortunate that some of my readers cannot understand my story and I'm sorry, maybe I need more practice and that's fine with me. Although, that's what my fanfiction writing _is_... practice. Besides, I don't like to spoon feed my readers. For instance, Daemon Ari means Demon Guardian or Demonic Guardian. I chose this name because I was going to turn him into a Wizard for his loyalty to Xhara (Charmed fans will understand what I mean). When Xhara (as Lily) and Severus were kissing in the library, the 'jealous eyes upon them' was Daemon. I decided to leave it as a family/familiar/friend jealousy instead of morphing it into a weird and creepy love he was going to have for her when he turned into a man/Wizard.

I like to make my readers **think,** and all of my stories are like this in some way. They have untold stories within their stories, and those untold stories spark my creativity. That said, my creative writing is self-taught (online tutorials and YouTube, etc), I have no fancy degrees or whatever in writing; just a love for writing stories that **I** want to read. There are many things I don't know or understand when it comes to fiction writing, but I'd like to think that my writing is not as confusing or as horrible as some readers make it out to be. So the following is my explanations for Xhara's and Severus' behaviours.

Xhara has cared about Severus since **she** was seven years old.

She has known him since **he** was seven and up to fifteen years old... the **same** ages for her.

Xhara doesn't really know the thirty-five-year-old Severus Snape, even if she's known him **her** entire life.

I will never have Severus Snape pursue a fifteen-year-old girl Soulmate or not **(no offence whatsoever to reviewers** ); I have no problem with writing stories like that **at all** , but Severus is a gentleman to the woman he wants. If it wasn't for the Soulmate Bond, he would not have been so irrational in my story and yet still, he was willing to wait until she turned seventeen or left Hogwarts.

Severus Snape is still the hurt, sarcastic and irascible man that everyone hates (no matter if Harry thinks he understands him better now).

In Severus' mind, (though he knew better later on) he had been friends and in love with Lily Evans for **his** entire thirty-five years. He'd been hurt by Lily and James (and the rest of the Marauders) as far as he was concerned.

Severus **does not** KNOW Xhara Diya; you have to remember, Xhara was not always there in the past with him and Lily had been using him (I hoped I had made that clear in the flashbacks). He knew she was kind and loving and that she cared about him because Lily Evans didn't, but he hasn't really wrapped his mind around it.

Xhara - as far as she is concerned - has loved this man **all her life** and when Severus couldn't return or show it (it should be understandable why now) or pursue her eagerly (as he ached to do, but... _fear_...) she gave up on him and left.

They **both** have issues.

I hope this clears up any misunderstandings. Thank you all for reading What The Soul Wants.

 **In the meantime, have a look at my other completed stories and WIP**

 **Pretend To Love Me** \- Romance - Lavender Brown and Percy Weasley - Completed

 **Devotion** \- Mature - Bellatrix Lestrange and Voldemort - Completed but Part Two (different couple) is on the way

 **Storm & The Half-Blood Prince **\- Fantasy - Ororo Storm Munroe and Severus Snape - Completed

 **Essence Of Infinity** \- Fantasy - Multiple POVs - Sequel to Storm & The Half-Blood Prince - In Progress


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